Getting a new brain for my AS son

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You've gotta be more specific when asking. I have to ask 10 questions to get information from my daughter with AS that one or 2 would have sufficed with my NT kids.


As far as wanting a new brain, I can totally relate to feeling like that when I was a kid, but I was proud to be smart and I was afraid a new brain might not be as smart and then I would disappoint my parents. Sounds like he's got ADD brain ramblings- we call them hamsters in in our family. Imagine a hamster is on an exercise wheel in your brain squeaking away all night- the wheel is your brain and the hamsters just won't let it shut down. Also sounds likw expression problems too- very common, and sometimes associated with anxiety. My DD is on Zoloft as am I and that has quieted the hamsters as well as helped with the anxiety.

Thanks for the feedback so far, everyone. All of the posts helped. I liked the idea of writing things problems down and burning them or putting them into a locked box. My son's special interest is in computers, so maybe it might work to type them in and send them to "trash". Also, to the person who mentioned find the "key" to unlock his brain . . . thank you for that, as I hadn't actually thought about the "key" terminology and it could be really useful to talk to him about. Rather than finding a new brain without a lock on it, maybe we can focus on finding the key (or keys) to unlock his brain. Any further ideas welcome as I need all the help I can get.

Sometimes with brain race the thoughts go so fast and information is coming and going out in a zillion directions, but to me they are still aimed to a general direction, stopping to write them down is murder on a stick. (and sometimes even speaking, that's when I tend to dominate a conversation. I have to or the thoughts get so far a head and I'm a miserable cuss when you get me on something I am or have obsessed over) If I stopped to write, the thoughts were so far ahead I get lost, it was impossible to catch up to them again. School was hell. I get sidetracked easily, when one or more of the incoming bits shine a bit more then the one I was heading for. I don't know if that makes sense or not. Best I can do to describe it right now.

I can write now and I write a lot and I throw away a lot. But for me to have done it at his age would have been impossible. I'm not saying that this is going to be the out come, I don't know. I am saying this might be frustrating for him to do. I've seen this discussed in the parents section before. Here's where you need to start thinking out of the box, he already is. Get inventive, expression comes in all forms. If this does present a problem for him, that is hugely valuable information.

Spelling doesn't count, punctuation doesn't count, style doesn't count (he'll find his own), shoot the editor and give your writer a great big kiss. And if the critic shows up, send em to me.

Last edited by postpaleo on 06 Aug 2008, 4:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree..whatever is the best for him to share. Unlocking his thoughts should be comfortable for him.

As far as the question how was your day, what did you do...I will never ever forget what my daughter said at age 3 the first day home from her early intervention class.

I said "How was your day?" She said "good." I asked "What did you do?" And she said with this evil little smile on her face "Bad Fings!"

I almost fell over at that! I don't know why she said, what she did, and she never ever said it again! She was a funny little thing even then

My son is 7yrs with AS and ADHD and I get this quite a lot but rather in the form of 'my brain was not designed to do xyz' or 'I was not born to do xyz'. Can be fustrating at times and funny at others. It normally comes up when it is something that he battles with and this is an easy way out for him.

I too get no response to the question - 'How was your day ?' The answer is normally 'I don't want to tell.' However if I ask specifics I get a whole lot more out of him and sometimes too much and have to ask him to stop - did you practice for the concert ? who did you play with ? etc etc. But this again depends on what kind of day he has had as well.

I often feel my brain is locked too. I just stay busy. It is especially restless now. Makes it hard to sleep

If it's random words and numbers, has he tried perhaps making a collage of those words and numbers? Like cutting them out from magazines, getting number stickers etc and sticking them on paper or maybe even a scrapbook? Sometimes visually seeing things that are floating in your head can settle them down a bit and make him feel like they are "out." It's possible if he made a scrapbook, after some time he may be able to just pull it out and look at it when he's anxious rather than having to cut and paste every time. If it helps maybe a big poster of his words and numbers might help if it was on his wall and he could look at it before he goes to bed.

I still get this now. It bothers me. I still haven't found a solution.

great idea.

btw-your avatar is so hidously gross looking-what exactly is it? I can't stant to look at it. It looks like pus or runny eggs or something festering. YUCK. Is there a reason you use this particular avatar?

Your son is showing an acute awareness of how his brain works and you should definitely encourage him to explore. How Aspies process negative emotions is very different from how NTs do so. We seem to remember the big and little things that upset us and it comes back over and over again to haunt us. For many Aspies, this aspect of autism, the endless flashbacks, is perhaps one of the most difficult things to deal with. The negative emotions build up and at some point it can be a little overwhelming. I believe that the part of the brain which manages these bad memories is affected by autism and wrongly replays them even when there is no reason to do so.

There is probably no way to "cure" this problem but self awareness can help. For instance, some days are worse than others. In a melt down, one of the most debilitating effects is this viral explosion of painful memories. But for Aspies, melt downs come and go. This means that on certain days it can seem really bad whereas on other days it will be of no consequence at all. Understanding that it will pass will help your son manage his rage when he is struck by a melt down.

The best thing to do is to gently encourage him to accept this condition. He needs to structure his behavior to conform with the needs of his brain rather than do the things which meet the expectations of others. Often this will mean some degree of social isolation because by not engaging with society he can avoid the very cause of these bad memories.

Everything depends on how autistic your son is. The further he is on he spectrum, the more dramatic the actions will have to be. I for one spend the whole day basically not talking to anyone. I am 35 and I have had to learn the hard way that despite my many gifts, because of how my brain is, there are certain things that I should not even attempt to do.

This discussion has reminded me of another issue my son comes up with now and then, is that his brain hurts because he has to do 3 activities at school - he is 7yrs old in Grade 0 (the year before Grade 1).
Now, is it because it really is too much workload or could it be that the activities/tasks are just so boring and uninteresting to him and beneath his intelligence level ??
I believe it could be the intelligence level aspect - why do I have to draw pictures of a car - I know what it looks like and so do you so why ???

My daughter has issues with busy work too. It makes no sense. The fun little things teachers create to make a project more interesting or that can be used as a bockdoor to learning make my daughter nuts.

She just wants the concrete, no nonsense, and literal assignment.

It could very well be that he needs some acceleration. At that age, my daughter was reading 5th grade textbooks

My wife and I have both taken quite a few computer courses, so she understands completely when I tell her (before starting such a speech) that she's just triggered a core dump...

It will also help, I think, once your son becomes more aware of his gifts. AS comes with burdens, but also gifts, areas where his thinking and abilities are far, far above the norm. My son wouldn't trade his gifts for the world, and that seems to make it easier for him to accept his burdens. We've discussed the possibility of medications and/or diet changes when things have gotten really difficult for him, and he was able to conclude that as great as it would be to fix the things in his brain he doesn't like, he does not want to do that at the cost of the things in his brain he DOES like. Appreciating the benefits is a really important part of self-image, I think.

Homework, btw, seems to be a huge issue for most AS kids. I think what they say about it, the reasons given, are less important than that it is simply something they don't want to do. My son, for example, would eagerly extend the school day for an hour or two and never have homework. It's like a breach of the boxes his life belongs in. Basically, quite more complicated than "boring" or "too hard" or "too easy."

Thanks, and more words of wisdom to add to my vocabulary.
She'll just have to wait for a few hours while I try to explain it.
I don't understand how the hell she can live with me.
Well it does help she's an Anthropologist by training.
They kind of get into understanding other cultures.
(only took about 10 minutes, that was almost record time)

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I think it's important to let those that really need to know, as best you can, in terms that they understand, what's happening in the real time.
I learn here (see above), and other places, constantly, such a breath of fresh air.
He needs the words or the replacement for words, to get the inner, out.
To the observer, they get me wrong all time. Even my wife thinks she has me pegged.

I think I got a keeper and I'm about ready to think of her in terms of a therapist.
She asked me out of the almost clear blue, yesterday, if I live in my head.
She's doing her homework and seems to have an open mind.
I have kept telling them there is something other than, or mimicking, Bipolar at work in me.
It can get really complicated, later, if you weren't or aren't aware of the whys of yourself.
annie2, you're doing great.

Is it that he has the 3 activities to do all at once? My 8 yr old son can only handle single instructions, otherwise it is too confusing . . . unless I write it all down in a list so that it is clear.