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AGMorehouse
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06 Aug 2008, 1:54 pm

One of the things I constantly ask someone is if there is something wrong. I usually ask my Dad this. I'll notice that when he is just (what looks like ) giving off a blank look, I'll worry if something is worng. It kind of annoys my Dad, but I always wonder. I've actually done this with a couple people. I'll notice that they are not as talkative as they would be, and I'll get easily worried, thinking that it has something to do with me.

Have you ever felt this way?


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patternist
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06 Aug 2008, 2:10 pm

If someone is acting in a way that is different than I am used to, if I notice, I do.
I always think everything is about me. That is my first instinct. I have to go through a very conscious process. "Okay, what did I do? Did I do anything that might have upset them? No, okay. Maybe it's not me. Maybe they're upset about something else. Whew. Okay, not me, not my problem. Wait! I should be concerned anyway, even if it isn't anything I did. Wait, how do I do that again?"

Thinking there is not actually something wrong but maybe they just look that way for a different reason, is about 12 steps too far ahead of my natural response. So, to answer your question, yes. But a lot of the time I don't ask because it might turn into an awkward conversation that I have no idea how to back out of.



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06 Aug 2008, 2:16 pm

i avoid "sussing" the views and feelings of others....i think i end up annoying a lot fo people without realising it.
i can do it....i just do it infrequently.
the disadvantages i experience with this approach is nothing compared to the constant worry i would have if i self introspected everytime i thought someone was feeling bad because of me.
i dont worry about it and i dont let it worry me.



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06 Aug 2008, 2:54 pm

Oh My YES I do this. I think it's one of the most annoying things about me, as a matter of fact. I mostly do it to my husband.

I think it stems from a lifetime of doing/saying the wrong things, and people getting irritated, or their feelings hurt, without directly telling me as much. Since, I can't interpret nonverbal communication very well I'm often left in the dark about my bad behavior, so now I overcompensate thinking that I'm always irritating people, and asking them if I am, which is very annoying in, and of itself. Vicious cycle, it is.

Plus, one interesting thing that I had noticed while taking facial expressions tests is that I interpret neutral expressions to be angry, and angry expressions to be fearful. This could explain why I think someone is angry/upset when they are just neutral.



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06 Aug 2008, 6:04 pm

I do it a lot espeacially when I'm ignored which happens almost all the time.

I do this to my dad as well because he likes to play that game of being angry "without showing it."

When anyone's sad, that's another story. I have problems in that department because I'm afraid I'm being too nosey.


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07 Aug 2008, 1:53 am

Yes,

Thats me!! ! Sometimes I think my good friend at work is mad.
When she really isn't...



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07 Aug 2008, 2:25 am

Wow, I thought I was the only one who did this! It's always such a nice feeling knowing I'm not alone in things like this. I always thought my automatic assumption that it was my fault was due to my anxiety, but it also makes sense from an ASD standpoint.

It's also bad that I find it easy to mistake the sound of laughing for the sound of crying, and I've been known to rush into a room looking panicked when everyone was just having a good joke. I also tend to sometimes confuse neutral faces with saddness or anger.


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07 Aug 2008, 2:54 am

Actually, it's the other way around: people continually ask me if something is bothering me, when in fact, I'm only spacing out from focusing on my thoughts. I don't know why, but I have a sour expression on my face when I'm too deep in thought, and my family always thinks that there's something wrong when there isn't.



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07 Aug 2008, 4:31 am

I always think people look irritated/upset. When I do ask they deny it.


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07 Aug 2008, 8:54 am

IdahoRose wrote:
Actually, it's the other way around: people continually ask me if something is bothering me, when in fact, I'm only spacing out from focusing on my thoughts. I don't know why, but I have a sour expression on my face when I'm too deep in thought, and my family always thinks that there's something wrong when there isn't.


Yeah, that happens to me as well, as the other way around. People tend to think my neutral facial expression, and body language looks upset. People are always telling me "smile, it can't be that bad", and I wasn't feeling bad in the first place. It's like my life is one great big miscommunication.



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07 Aug 2008, 1:23 pm

AGMorehouse wrote:
One of the things I constantly ask someone is if there is something wrong. I usually ask my Dad this. I'll notice that when he is just (what looks like ) giving off a blank look, I'll worry if something is worng. It kind of annoys my Dad, but I always wonder. I've actually done this with a couple people. I'll notice that they are not as talkative as they would be, and I'll get easily worried, thinking that it has something to do with me.

Have you ever felt this way?


I feel this way a lot and it makes for a very confusing life.



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07 Aug 2008, 1:34 pm

Quote:
"smile, it can't be that bad"


....this happens to me all the time.



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07 Aug 2008, 2:50 pm

I bet you're noticing 'different'. I mean, a lot of us are really good at spotting differences, and differences are often unsettling. So maybe as a result you get the idea of wrongness more often than you should.


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07 Aug 2008, 3:48 pm

AGMorehouse wrote:
One of the things I constantly ask someone is if there is something wrong. I usually ask my Dad this. I'll notice that when he is just (what looks like ) giving off a blank look, I'll worry if something is worng. It kind of annoys my Dad, but I always wonder. I've actually done this with a couple people. I'll notice that they are not as talkative as they would be, and I'll get easily worried, thinking that it has something to do with me.

Have you ever felt this way?


Were you in my head this morning? Just wondering... *chuckle* Yes, I ask 'What?' incessantly, because of little 'tonal differences' (hard to explain, when things are out of sync/alignment it is almost as though I 'hear' the dissonance) I worry and ask what is wrong or what is happening.


M.


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