wrapping my mind around aspegers

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A couple of days ago a school psycologist recommended that my son be screened for aspegers. I started reading all about it, and it does seem to fit. I also began to recognize myself. Did an on-line test and I was in the aseagers range.

Of course aspegers has now become my latest obession

I have some questions. Is it common to self-identify with aspegers when your child is identified? And, more importantly, now what? It is as appropriate/helpful for an independant (if socally ackward) adult to also seek out diagnoses and services to help?

If you're independent, you don't have too many problems with socializing (see: a severe and lifelong impairment in such), and/or your work isn't affected in a way that's no different to the next person due to your symptoms, you wouldn't be able to receive a diagnosis.

Many parents of individuals with Autism/Asperger's tend to show traits themselves, albeit in a subclinical level in most ways, as they aren't as affected. "Broader Autism Phenotype" would be something worth looking up if your son is found to have Asperger's, and you see that you perhaps fit the symptomology (just not severely).

I was diagnosed as a adult after some prolonged periods of depression. I researched Asperger's Syndrome and thought it was a good explanation for why I felt so different. My GP agreed and sent me to a specialist. I was then diagnosed. I haven't done anything different since then but I am more at ease with myself and I am no longer getting depressed about not being neurotypical. Getting the diagnosis has helped me in understanding my various symptoms but I have not had any treatment other than what I was already getting for depression. I understand that health insurance will often be refused in the US if you are diagnosed with AS so if you are functioning well, there does not seem a lot of reason to pursue a diagnosis. Several other members of my family including my mother, uncle, brother and grandmother show some signs of the AS personality but not really to a clinical degree except in my uncle.

I think it's natural to identify with it if your children are AS. It goes the other way around too, in fact, my mom's AS was what prompted my discovery of it in myself.

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with Autism a year before my husband suggested that I might have Asperger's. I have unfortunately never been able to be very successful at being independent. I have tried many times over but I always end up needing assistance. Ive been through many different jobs and I stayed in an abusive relationship for ten years because I was afraid to be on my own. I did manage to get by for nearly two years as a single mother but I had friends that helped me. I count myself lucky that I managed to keep my three kids alive.....trust me it wasnt pretty. I think my two girls had to grow up way before they were ready and Im constantly apologising to them for that but they keep telling me they are fine. Even though they just started diagnosing Asperger's in the 90s I cant imagine why no one was ever concerned that there was something wrong with me. My childhood was horrible and not because I had terrible parents, I didnt. Most of what I remember from my childhood is feeling constantly confused, hurt and frightened.
Sorry....Im rambling on and on about myself Ive just been thinking too much as of late.

I'm pretty good and getting better all the time at being independant, so that part isn't really an issue.

What I could use help with is social skills. I recognized that I had a problem with communication skills that needed to be addressed a few years ago and have made an effort to improve. I think I would benefit from a back to basics approach and be explicitly taught non-verbal communication and social norms. In part for my own benefit, also to help my son. When he has social issues I have no clue how to advise him.

Are such services available for adults?

The best service is faking it. It is what most people do, what we call normal.

We have more questions, no one has answers. Be a Phony, lie, and the world lies with you, speak the truth, and you stand alone.

Nothing, cannot be understood, it can be done, just do it.

A social interaction is one sided, they speak, and the other person is to agree.

They only become dangerous when you disagree, or worse yet, pose qusestions that cause them to think. They would rather kill you than think.

See them as a house of cards, a fragile construct, any one point can bring them crashing down.

Before autism, most of us old folks just learned herd managment the hard way. Treat them like cows, large things that can step on you, kick, gore, but can be controlled with soft and soothing words.

Do not panic the herd, they stampede easy. Hundreds trampled to death in religious procession, all very human.

One does not bring up the meaning of life and the future to cows, they are heading for the slaughterhouse. Just tell them they are the best cow that ever was, and pet their filets and prime rib.

You are them, you just have this extra part called a brain. People can live quite well without one.

You should never mention that people are fat, ugly, and do not have a brain. It is called social skills.

Yes, I agree. I think it would be better to explicitly learn what you needed, like learning a foreign language, and use it only when you had to--speak your "native language" at home. Our brains aren't made for faking; really, nobody's is, neurotypical or not.

patternist,

You'll note the "and/or". One will need to be impaired to a clinical level in one aspect of functioning (it's usually work, school, relationships and adapting functioning which encompasses many things), to be diagnosed with AS.

This is by using the DSM-IV-TR. Gillberg's Criteria doesn't have this clause, but just by meeting that, you will be impaired in one or more ways above.

Just showing the traits isn't enough.