Is it possible to break free from the obsession?

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prillix
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13 Aug 2008, 8:32 pm

Like i mentioned in my other post, when i was young i'd sit there, practically every night and just rearrange my hockey cards, totally pointless and horribly antisocial. It stopped one day when i sold a 50$ card for practically f**k all, then i finally got over it. From what i can remember though, thats about when i started learning about computers. As ive read, alot of aspies are obsessed with computers and the like, and i am no exception. I have probably 400+ computer video games, mostly downloaded, and each labeled in its own cd or dvd, and many a many movies and programs, comprising of like 6 DVD albums mostly full each. The funny thing is, like my previous obsession, its been nothing but a big waste of time. I havent even tried a fraction of those video games, and havent watched a fraction of those movies. Not only that, but i spend many nights sitting here, bored out of my skull. So im obsessed, knowingly wasting my time, and still then nothing has changed.

Now on the other hand, i am at my limit of this place. This town, its people, and especially my family have done nothing but bad for me. My parents praise my brother for everything he is, and hate me for everything im not. Ive done nothing but beg for them to show even the slightest interest in me, and help me do something. Im 23 and they still refuse to take me driving. Ive even written them a 3page letter a month ago chronicling all the pain and misery they put me through, and how the only thing i need is just the smallest amount of interest and love from them, and even then they refuse. To make it worse, way worse, not only do they treat me like s**t and bring me down every chance they get, they talk s**t about me to all my family members, my aunts uncles grandparents, everybody. Its bad enough i feel like i live in world that hates me, but they have to form a mob. The saddest part was when i realized that, my favorite aunt, the only one in my family who has ever given me a chance, is starting to fall under the spell of the lies and deceit that is my family.

I am moving, i have found a job 3000km away from home, im currently in the process of selling everything i own. Sold my 57inch tv, selling my giant computer desk, even my computer. Giving away my vast vast collection of everything, and giving a copy of my 3 page letter to the only family member who has ever believed in me before i leave, so that i know that there will still be at least one person in this world who i know will accept me for who i am, instead of the "black sheep" image that has been projected of me since my birth, and especially after my imminent departure.

Now back to the topic, Obsession, is it always gonna be there or is there a way to fight it?
When i move, i plan on hitting the gym, see if i can find a toast masters class, cause from what ive seen, its great. Go out, and try to meet some people. Ive been doing some cabinetmaking for a year now, and have had 3 years previous assembling experience, and im absolutely awesome at it. Ive read that aspies thrive in assembly line type positions, and again, no exception here. But what i fear the most is getting back into my computer obsessive ways.

I said im selling my computer, but the thing is, i still have a handful of friends that have done alot for me, that theres no way i would ever break contact with them, so after a month, im buying a laptop or an EEE. I fear tho that this might just get the ball up and rolling again, especially since im moving to a brand new town, might as well be light years away from what ive ever known. And i know some people will say "just set yourself a limit, like 1 hour per day", but we all know that's way easier said then done.

So i forget where i was going with this topic, so any suggestions as to where i was going and solutions would be great, thanks :P



claire-333
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13 Aug 2008, 8:42 pm

Sorry to hear your family is so hard on you. It is tough enough not fitting in with the rest of the world. If you should have anyone to rely on, it should be them. Maybe someday they will realize that. As far as special interests go...mine give me great pleasure. I say go with what makes you happy, whatever it is. If it does no harm, then what's the harm...



Stupidcat
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13 Aug 2008, 10:45 pm

If the obsession is getting in the way of your life and causes you a lot of stress and/or grief then you might consider talking to a physician. About a year ago I realized that I was very stressed out and unhappy because I couldn't break free of my obsessions. I started taking an SSRI (which I know is not for everyone) and I'm much more in control of myself. Those obsessions/special interests that I still pursue now bring me happiness rather than stress.

Try to find an understanding doctor or psychiatrist in your area. Even if you don't wish to pursue a medication option they might have some other helpful information. Best of luck.



Followthereaper90
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14 Aug 2008, 1:30 am

get obessed to another think..im myself perfectly happy for my gaming obessions


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GuyTypingOnComputer
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14 Aug 2008, 1:43 am

I'm not sure how to get rid of an obsession. I have obsessions that have been evolving for decades and others that run their course in a matter of weeks.

I remember a few years ago I was obsessed with analyzing new cars. It took over my life, left me sleep deprived and I was otherwise unproductive for months. I finally bought a new car just to rid myself of the obsession. That worked because the obsession ran its course.

Most of my obsessions don't wane, they are just overtaken by stronger obsessions.



spudnik
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14 Aug 2008, 1:51 am

I hope you like it in Edmonton, its my home town, its to bad you don't have the support of your family,
but getting out of that situation is for the best. I wish you the best of luck in your big move.