wish i was more assertive

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My mum is overbearing and controlling and at times verbally abusive. There are some incidents that particularly upset me in particular partially because I wish I was able to do say bugger you. About a year ago my grandma and I were both over at mums for dinner mum said "Help Mim" (grandma) , I said "In a minute I am just going to the toilet first" mum yelled at me "no help Mim" I was getting more and more desperate to go and mum kept yelling louder "help Mim" eventually Mim said go but by then it was too late i rushed and got there but my pants we still a little wet. I was angry at mum for not letting me go she was way out of order but I also wish I had simply said bugger you I am going but she has a hold on me. These kinds of incidents happen on occasion and everytime I allow her to boss me around.

Your mum was way out of order to boss you around like that. I am not really very assertive and most of the time I think of all the good answers when it's too late. If you are not assertive, why not just ignore your mum and go to the toilet when you need to?