Being blunt?

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Do you feel that you say what others are thinking and they just don't say?
I often feel that people are fake and I can't stand superficial fake-ness. They smile and nod and say what people want to hear, but not how they really feel.
I am often blunt and very honest. I cannot tell people what they WANT to hear. I just cannot. This is just how I am. I wish others would be more honest with themselves. I get trying not to hurt peoples feelings, but why must we walk around putting bubbles around other people? Tiptoeing with what we say, lest we hurt someones feelings. I guess I just don't get it.

We have the ability to talk. Why do we need to lie to each other in this big thing called "socializing." Bah. I don't get it.

It's entirely possible to speak your mind without being blunt or rude.

By the way, being blunt IS being rude.

Perhaps I misspoke then. Because I'm not talking about being rude at all. I'm talking about being honest and not sidestepping issues or sugar coating answers.

I don't believe blunt=rude. It can. I thought it simply meant forthright speaking.

Again, there's no mutual exclusivity between forthrightness and politeness. It's not what you say it how you say it.

My ex says that I am refreshingly direct.
I know I can be blunt and I say what I think is honest. I find it really hard to wrap my thoughts/opinions in a nice package and call it polite. I get really nervous if I have to use some sort of etiquette I don't really know or behave in a certain way that does not feel like me. People just have to take me for who I am and if I am blunt or rude people should say so, no problem.

Wouldn't you want people to be polite with you? Would you object to the rudeness/impoliteness of others? There were any number of ways I could have have written this post, but I chose to be polite.

You can be honest but I rephrase things so as to not be obnoxious and absolutely destroy the other person.
People lie sometimes when they socialize to make other people feel better, then they in turn lie to make us feel better, and that way we don't feel like killing ourselves at the end of the day : )
Never had that stereotypical problem with lying...though there is the obsessive guilt that comes afterwards.

Being an aspie, you've probably experienced this from the other side.

Have you ever had somebody tell you what they said was, "I'm just telling you the truth," or "I'm just telling you the way it is."

In my experience, this is a preface to saying things that are very often hurtful and very often wrong.

I'm not convinced this is a virtue. I'm inclined to agree with Cornwall in King Lear:

This is some fellow,
Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect
A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb
Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he,
An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth!
An they will take it, so; if not, he's plain.
These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness
Harbour more craft and more corrupter ends
Than twenty silly ducking observants
That stretch their duties nicely.

You can also lie through your teeth, very politely. And tell the truth rudely. Poper conduct shouldn't feel like a lie or deception. You should be able to feel it genuinely. If you can't, you probably don't have the right words or the right approach to communicate what you want to communicate.

Often I find myself here, I say exactly how I feel, thinking others will understand or "get it" and it comes off blunt, or sometimes rude.
It is difficult to train ones mouth to wait for the brain to do a double process on a statement or opinion.
example.
Someone: "I liked the movie speed racer, did you like it?"
me: "no, I didn't see it, I like good movies"

When I should have said:
me: Really, I haven't seen it, what did you like about it?"

But then this begs a question, does a person have to lie right out to be socially accepted?
Isn't it only rude because we blindly accept societies proclamations?
People don't wear buttons or signs stating how they feel all the time, why do I have to lie to be socially accepted?

I think you do have to be blunt, honest, and straightforward. Especially when dealing with another Aspie. You need to explicitly tell people what you are feeling. And I will never give anyone the "silent treatment".

This is what I mean.

My therapist says, "Because thats just how it is. There is a way that is socially acceptable and a way that is not." I simply don't understand why I have to conform to everyone else.

I try not to be rude. However if someone wants my opinion, or wants to talk about something with me.. I just can't say things that are lies for the sake of being polite. What good does that do anyone? Whats the point of talking just to be polite? Didn't they actually want to communicate??

Your example was a good one.

Friend: Did you like my hair cut??
Me: Oh! You got a hair cut? I hadn't even noticed.

After wards I can tell that was the "wrong" answer even though I did not mean to be rude. I was telling the truth. I hadn't noticed the hair cut. I suppose I should have given my opinion on it, but since I don't care about that sort of thing most likely I would have said, "Ya" or "looks good." which seem to be acceptable answers to people albeit not very enthusiastic.

So how do you like it when people insult you?

Like when they make a virtue out of insulting you, saying "I'm just being honest."

Or when they take pride in insulting you, saying, "That's just the way I am, I'm blunt."

Respecting other people as human beings like yourself is not the same as dishonesty.

heh, I can say that I be blunt on purpose sometimes. For example, someone ticks me off. I will outwardly respect them, then just make a snide remark that bites them really hard, especially since they know i am telling the truth.

THere are ways of being polite and rude that I know of, and each person has thier own take on whats rude and what isnt. Some people will not hesitate to call you rude for listening to loud music, but if the other person likes said music, they might actually enjoy the situation.

Since when ?

Not necessarily. It can be rude, but it doesn't have to be. Many people (most NTs) find the simple truth disconcerting, and then classify it as rude, simply because they were startled by it.

As an aspie, I find euphemisms (aka sly deceptions) much ruder than the blunt truth.

American Heritage Dictionary:

1. Having a dull edge or end; not sharp.
2. Abrupt and often disconcertingly frank in speech: “Onscreen, John Wayne was a blunt talker and straight shooter” (Time). See Synonyms at gruff.
3. Slow to understand or perceive; dull.
4. Lacking in feeling; insensitive.