Analyzing the situation

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One of my biggest problems in the social world is that I'll behave inappropriately in a social setting when it is not appropriate. For instance, one time I went to my Aunt's sister house, and when she opended up the fridge, I noticed some alcohol, and my Dad got a little irritated by that- the problem is that when no one is drinking, you shouldn't be drinking either, etc.

Has anyone been in a situation like that?

Did you drink the alcohol, or just point out to everyone that it was there?

My response, f**k them/that. (well more accurately and "socially acceptable"; I don't care what they do and I did not ask for what they do and when I do what is "Socially popular" it's then wrong and immoral, so I don't care what other people do).

Yes I said that once to someone who pulled out the "Look at what others are doing"; my response. I don't care.

I remember that crap people said to me and...ahhhh.......ehh. Just wrong, wrong...

EDIT: as an add-on I remember the time my mom bitched because I didn't go to their "family prayer" at a thanksgiving dinner WHEN I WAS IN A DIFFERENT ROOM. And she BITCHED about mt not "bowing my head in respect" when I stood closer/away from them and didn't take their hands in saiyance (well prayer circle) when they were praying about how god does this, how we should be thankful, how the family should be x,y,z......

Thankfully after I was diagnosed last year she backed off that....

EDIT 2: in case I said something wrong or "implied" something else, the family is Black Baptist. And currently Im Agnostic (and yes, I don't bring that up unless people ask me).

I'm very good at analyzing certain things in a situation from a distance or after the fact.... sometimes in the moment, but only with verbal cues and other things that are very obvious to me.

However, all the little rules and intricacies, and all the things that one is apparently assumed to be noticing, especially when they have little or no bearing on the larger scheme of things, escape my notice - not only on my own part but on that of others. I have an excellent mind for what people say, what they said five minutes ago and how that relates to what they might say next. But don't expect me to notice how they were holding their silverware or if they gained or lost weight from the last time I saw them! And definitely don't expect me to be keeping track of anything more than is required by basic decency when I'm holding a discussion. I honestly will not know how well I kept eye contact or some such.

This is why I do better in online discussions... I only have a few rules to work with (grammar, spelling, readable formatting and being nice enough to the other poster), and the rest all depends on how well I make my point. If only real life were that simple!

I'd second another poster in asking, in regards to your OP, whether you had merely noticed that there was alcohol in the fridge, or had actually acted on your noticing it and took it out of the fridge or some such. If you had only pointed it out, that was some overreaction you got. Yeesh. Socially-minded people can be so rigid.

If someone's trying to conceal their alcoholic tendencies, his pointing it out might create quite an uproar.

Your dad's reaction was somewhat strange. Maybe there is something going on that you don't know about and the alcohol is a touchy subject and your dad is worried that if you say something and make a big deal out of the alcohol his sister will get angry and think you all are gossiping about her when she is not around and resent you for it.

WHoa...thanks...sorry about that...I probably shouldn't have made this thread.

Yes. This is the way forward in NT/AS relations, people!

I don't understand the problem.

Being aware of a situation is funny. I'll notice things, and then I won't. Can't really say for sure how I feel about this.

Yes. Very true.

Also. The OP's AS probably caused him to make a comment without first thinking of the implications of that comment. Much like our oft-inability to 'get the hint' in social situations, we often don't know when not to say something. Whereas the OP may have opened up the fridge, noticed a little bottle near the back, and said "Oh, look, some Patron, let's ask my aunt's sister..." and thought nothing of it, an NT might have recognized that his aunt's sister did not wish her visitors to drink, and if she did, she would have first offered. Not busting on you, AGMorehouse, just trying to explain it. I've certainly done some stupid, inappropriate things such as this as well.

Damn straight, bring the noiseee!! ! Light 'em up nigz!



heh. As a related answer to who I quoted, JohnHopkins; I forgot this was about NTs and AS; just referring to people who force their meaningless social BS on other people in general.