A man escapes from prison, breaks into a house, and finds a couple sleeping. He orders the husband out of bed at knife point and ties him to a chair.
While tying the wife to the bed, he kisses her neck for a minute. Then the criminal gets up and goes to the bathroom.
The husband hurriedly leans over and whispers to his wife, "This guy is and escaped convict. He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist....just do whatever he tells you, and with any luck we'll make it out alive. Stay strong, honey. I love you"
"Oh, he wasn't kissing my neck," his wife whispers back. "He was talking in my ear.
He told me he thought you were really cute and then asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom under the sink.
Stay strong, honey. I love you, too"