Dead frogs and getting up

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Okay, so those of you who know what is going on in my personal life with my son, will prolly get this.

The first birthday that we lived in this house, we bought my son a tadpole kit. That was 2001. The stupid things were only supposed to live 1 year. This frog held out. Summers passed. Winters passed. My son grew. He started shaving. And noticing girls. Still the frog lived.

He died this morning. The frog, I mean. So, I took him out to the side yard and buried him out under the bird feeder pole beside the carport because that seemed like (a) the only place we hadn't buried a frog in the little frog graveyard and (b) it seemed like where my son would have put him. So, now I'm sitting here crying over a stupid frog that I prayed for his death every day because he's a hassle to take care of.

Those of you who know that the pieces of my life are scattered all over hell and back right now, prolly get it. I didn't. My husband (the ultimate NT) came over and said, "I know honey. It was a piece of (your son) and it feels like all the pieces are disappearing."

Now, tell me, why he had to label this feeling for me. I don't know. I'm just feeling stupid for crying over a frog.

A lot of women attach such meaning, and expect men to. Some men realize that, and do. SMILE! HE CARES! BTW I wish you and your whole family, INCLUDING your son, the best! I hope you get to have nice time with your son, that he continues to love you, and that you and your current husband live a long healthy happy life. As for your ex!?!?!? Well, I don't like to use that language, so I will keep this clean.

I don't remember seeing dead frogs on the stress scale, but of course even losing an annoying pet is an adjustment, which can be tiring. I don't know if I'd be crying, but I'd probably be knocking over my water bottle a lot, since that's what I tend to do in such circumstances.

I think your husband labelled it the way he did partly because it's easier to cope when you put a label on things and put them away in the proper drawer in your mind. It's less messy than leaving things lying about uncategorized. As long as the label isn't harmful, it doesn't really seem to matter what it is.

Thank you. I get that. I know it's easier to deal with things when they have a name. Just in my panicked "OMG, I have to deal with this crap" moment, I couldn't do it for myself. I guess, too, it's a testament to him adjusting to an Asperger's world. I am proud of him for knowing what I needed in that moment.

I still know it's stupid for crying over a dead frog and my really logical side of my brain is telling me that, but I still am a little overwhelmed by the melted side of my brain telling me if I would just rock and flap I would feel a lot better. I can't get to the rocking chair right now without dealing with a bunch of other crap that I can't deal with right now, so, I guess I'd better just cope. I keep listening for the filter of the tank and keep wanting to rush up and see what's wrong, then I have to remind myself that it's not there and I turned it off because the frog is dead.

The really weird part of all of this? I had this dream this morning that I was talking to my son on the phone (which I haven't been able to do since Mother's Day) and I was telling him that I loved him and then that the frog was dead. It was bizarre. The first thing I did after I got up was go check on the frog. I think I knew he died. Of course, I've known for 2 weeks that it was going to happen and I was trying to get used to the idea of it. Just nothing really prepares you for the reality of it, you know?

So, here we are. I better get something done today. Or I'll feel like the day was a complete waste of time. I've got the tank mostly emptied out and so now I've got to make a bunch of other decisions that I'm completely ill equipped to deal with right at this moment. Oh well.....

I'd cry over a frog long before id cry over most people

Thank you eggman, I really appreciate that! That's kinna how I feel!

I think it is kind of cool you would cry over a frog. Would you cry over a spider? I think sometimes that people mostly cry over mammals or other acceptable animals.

I didn't reply to your pm, a while back beacuse I thought I had outgrown my usefulness.

No, I wouldn't cry over a spider. I hate spiders. I'm scared to death of them.

And you had not outgrown your usefelness at all. All input is useful at some point!

Ok in fairness that is fairly common arachnophobia. I've still not tried picking them up, not that I'm interested in disturbing them much either. But they are actually really cool things. They keep your house clean. They are relatively clean themselves and the eat insects that could more likely cause infection because things like flies are attracted to your food. Most spiders that you will encounter cannot physically bite you. That is they can't get through you skin, and most wouldn't try except as a last resort.

Btw have you tried ducks? I recommend them. Don't feed them bread is not good for them anyway, and eventually they will get too fat to fly.

I love Jumping Spiders

I feel your pain thread maker... I have 1 shark in a 10 gallon aquarium, and i pray for his death.. the tank takes up too much room and i wanna put my sterio up there

Yeah, I'm slowly recovering today. I'm still sad, but I'm starting to deal. I really am just trying to do it a little at a time because I'm still pretty melty today.

It's been a bad week and a bad year. So my brain is just revolting against the entire lot of crap that I'm living with.

Portia is my favourite spider, jumping spiders rule.

I think the assassin spider is cool too, but more for its ultra sleek design.

I think a lot of people think that spiders are just the orb spiders or maybe the odd burrowing one, plus tarantulas.

How did we degenerate into spiders?