Telling someone they owe someone an apology bullying?
On AFF I have learned telling others they need to apologize is bullying. A member was banned from there for 48 hrs for telling some people they need to apologize to someone. The mod called that bullying and that has been going on by some members there. So they banned her for two days so she can think about her behavior.
I have been told too by people in the past I need to say my sorry, even my own mother and teachers said the same. Does that mean I was being bullied? That was how I learned to apologize for every time I hurt people or make a mistake. Now every time someone doesn't apologize for their behavior, I think they are just jerks. Only time I won't apologize is if someone owes me one first and if I don't get it, I won't give them one. Same as if someone has already owed me one in the past and I never got it, I will never give them one in the future of I owe them one. Because why should I apologize if I won't get the same in return?
Even my own mother tells people they owe someone an apology. She even still tells me I need to apologize if I had done something hurtful. She says "Oh Beth you should apologize, did you owe him an apology?"
Oh yeah and I have also found out telling someone they need counseling or therapy is bullying. I have been told in the past I needed help and to get it. Was I being bullied?
I wonder what other civil things are considered bullying. Now I am wondering if someone gets mad at me about my niceness, I was probably bullying.
This comes up often with my children and I do not make them say they are sorry for things which they are not sorry. There is a difference between saying 'I'm sorry' and admitting you are wrong. There is a difference between admitting you are wrong and claiming fault or guilt. The difference is maturity and willingness to claim responsibility for your own actions.
CelticRose
Veteran

Joined: 19 Jul 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,368
Location: as far away from Autism Speaks as possible
You can tell a person they owe someone an apology if (a) you're in a postion of authority, (b) you are the person who is owed the apology, or (c) someone asks you for advice. In all other instances you are not minding your own business. Bullying is too strong a term.
Unless someone is asking you for advice, it's usually considered rude to tell someone they need therapy. Even if someone is asking for advice, you have to be careful how you phrase it. A lot of people are threatened by the idea that they might need therapy. Again, I think bullying is too strong a term in this instance.
_________________
Autism Speaks does not speak for me. I am appalled to discover that Alex Plank has allied himself with an organization that is dedicated to eliminating autistic people. I no longer wish to have anything to do with Wrong Planet. Delete this account.