Asperger's, online friends & social conservatism/liberal

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What follows will probably be taken as a bit of a generalisation, unless I explain that for me there has been virtually an absolute pattern to this, with precious little deviation.

I have chatted online with people from (potentially) all over the world. Potentially, because those friends I am able to make online have been from the same areas all the time. Those areas being the socially conservative - Republican! - areas of the US. The midwest, the south, Texas.... even then being in a very small town or village in a VERY remote area appears to be an absolute prerequisite (the more small and remote the more Republican). (And even that is not enough in itself - it seems there must be a mental illness, disability, or significant obesity.)

So people's loneliness plays a significant part for sure, but it's very unlikely that people from the liberal parts of the country will even begin to give me the time of day. Democrat areas - liberal places - places like New York metro, California, New England, southern Florida. It's not that there are not many people from these places to potentially talk to. Far from it.

But although I don't tell the vast majority of people online I have AS, people get to know me a little online, get some sort of snapshot of my life, and (mainly because I am single) they wonder, are inquisitive, and look for what from their point of view might be 'wrong'.

But that's something that has gone hand in hand with liberal areas and societies. By far the worst person for this was from Sweden. Countries don't come much more socially liberal than that, but I also seem to have had a heck of a time with people from Ireland. And unfortunately it's almost certain I am treated badly by Canadians, whose country is seen as more liberal than the US. But people from conservative places usually don't bother what might be supposedly 'wrong' with me.

And I sure don't fare very well with my own country, i.e. the UK. I guess I've no idea how liberal a society we are compared with the US. But this would suggest we are, at the very least, more liberal than the Republican half of the US.

So it is in the conservative areas.... indeed the most deeply conservative areas, that I find any acceptance. It has made me intrigued that Aspies tend to want to live in liberal societies, reason being they'll be more accepting of Aspies or whatever difference. The complete opposite has been the case for me and you'll have to believe me when I say there has been a predictable continuum between socially conservative/liberal places vis-a-vis my ability to fit in with people online.

That's a very interesting observation. My father, who certainly has AS traits, has made many internet friends in the Deep South of the US. He is of a strong socialist political viewpoint, would be a hardened democrat if he was American not British. Yet, it sounds similar to you in that he has made these rather unlikely (in theory) Republican friends. And, as far as I know, he has none elsewhere in the world.

Maybe people in the Southern States are just friendlier than elsewhere? I know that sounds at odds with the history. But then I have no direct experience of the region and you can't totally trust what you read and see on TV.

Are you finding that it's people who have experienced some genuine hardship that become more tolerant to diversity?

It could be that you're just not a very sociable / likable person, I mean think about it you're basing who you associate with on politics and thinking thats how other people associate then you're 1) very naive and 2) immature. And your post demonstrates your lack of imagination into these issues. Very republican people tend towards being closed-minded people, but I don't smear all republicans because that's a general trend I find. I know many old-world (i.e. 100's of years ago) republicans I have some respect for because of what the did and said, all men are totally inconsistent in their values and principles, and that goes for everybody. Most people's thoughts do not even qualify as well thought out structures of what actually is real, most of it is a patchwork of bits of truth, vaguery, personal inclinations, and unconciously identifying with the positions / concepts themselves.

I know because I used to be like you in a different way, if people didn't think like I thought, then I'd build fake / poor generalizations about them as a class of people. But I was naive, ignorant and just plain wrong.

If you want to get good at socializing, realize the world is not an idealogy, you don't know everything either. Go read some philosophers, especially plato and socrates, the dialogues, etc. In fact start here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socrates

"I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others." -- socrates

Most importantly, your thoughts, values and ideals are primarily formed from your unconscious, societal indoctrination and personal identifying with said concepts not through reason but by feeling, i.e. you didn't examine them thoroughly with reason and hammer them out. You used some kind of erroneous heuristic like most other people do.

Start questioning and doubting your own values to see where they don't hold up, especially the feelings / understandings you get from your nervous system and mind.

If I'm diverse, then for sure those who have gone through hardships have shown more tolerance. No doubt about it.

I wasn't in any way basing who I associate with on politics. Politics goes over my head, to be perfectly honest. Even if I was basing who I associate with on politics, I'd be trying to talk to both Republicans and Democrats, both conservative and liberal, indiscriminately.

Even if a better response comes from certain types of people or locations, it's not even based on politics, as politics never even enters the discussion.

I only brought up the Republican/Democrat thing because nothing correlates better with the demographic patterns I experience in non-politcal online interaction.

Ahh well then I misunderstood, actually they think that poltics is the result of genetics, i.e. the way minds perceive reality is different for certain phenotypes.

odd...never thought of it that way...

There are a bunch of 'leftist' (socialist, communist, anarchist) friends on a forum I browse and they're cool with me and tolerant of me....

..then again I'm a socialist myself so maybe that's why. The people in the peace group I occasionlally visit are pretty friendly, same with the groups of 9/11 truthers, greens, etc..

EDIT: I also knew pretty good and decent 'conservatives' who were friendly with me and didn't care about me being autistic...

so I don't see really a political thing.

Wow, I have the opposite thing. Conservatives can't stand me, while I get along pretty well with other liberals. They are very tolerant of my extreme weirdness.

I just moved down South (where obviously it is more conservative) and I have definitely found that people are more open and friendly in their interpersonal relations. So when politics isn't the issue, people, including liberals, might feel more welcomed here than in other places.

your location is Virginia. I remember people saying that Northern Virginia, as well as Eastern Virginia is significantly different than the rest of the state..

where do you live..

I just moved from Northern Virginia to southern North Carolina. I should change my stats, thank you for pointing that out : )