I was diagnosed with AS, now feel like I'm growing out of it

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I found this forum a few days ago and have been lurking since then, but now I feel as though I should post about this...

I was diagnosed with AS at about the age of 13. My childhood and teenage years were pretty traumatic and I had very few friends. At some points in middle school, I was very depressed and had even considered suicide. Things improved gradually during high school, and by senior year I had a little more self esteem and had made a couple friends. College was a difficult transition at first, but by the second half of freshman year things stabilized and I started to become more outgoing. As the summer began, this sort of perpetuated itself. As I became more outgoing, I gained more confidence and experience in social situations, which in turn made me more outgoing. Now in my sophomore year, things have dramatically improved; I hang out with friends virtually every day and meet new people every week. I routinely get invited to parties on the weekends now (the only reason I'm not doing that tonight is because I'm visiting family out of town, mind you), and rarely feel awkward or nervous making small talk.

It seems that while I've always displayed AS traits, I've been able to overcome some of the more negative ones in the past couple years. I often look back on some of the embarassing things I did in high school and think to myself, "what the hell was I thinking?" I can't really figure out why this has happened to me, or why it's happening now. At the same time, I still display some of these traits very strongly, especially my intense interest in a narrow range of topics.

I guess I feel as though I've "grown out" of AS to some extent as I've matured. Has anyone else experienced this, or know anything about it? If you prefer not to reply in this thread, feel free to PM me.

I see where you're coming from. Looking back i was alot worse when I was younger. I think over the years we learn to cope and adapt, we manage to learn some social skills to help mask our anxiety.
But as i was thinking about it more. i have actually gotten worse in some areas too. i complain ALOT more. My 'desire' to make social contacts has decreased even though i am probably better equiped to do so than when i was younger. i think that has to do with the fact that as I've gotten older i seem to need more adn more uninterupted alone time.

...And i've lost my train of thought..........

Yeah people have posted similar threads before. It's great that you have been able to overcome some of your weaknesses.
For me it was sort of the opposite.
I had pretty decent social skills through highschool, then when I got to college I started to realize that I couldn't relate to my peers, and my personality had been a facade up until then.

The distinction with AS is not that you can't do these social things, but the way you learn them is a little different.

It is something that happens to most aspies socially we have 3 “growth spurts” one pre teen, one mid teen and one early 20es.

I also have an active social life and go out a lot but all my friends are “off beet” in there own way I accidentally end up at a party last week that was full of people who would have bean the “popular” people in high school and I figured out that I could blend in with them I just did not want to “morons the lot of them”

Well, I don't think anyone technically ever becomes unAspergers. But it's great that you've improved enough that you're not as weighed down as you used to be.

CONGRATULATIONS!

I'm starting to wonder if my dx is wrong seems things only gotten worse in my 20's.

I'm having a similar experience now in my senior year of high school. I'm becoming a lot more sociable and finally learning how to have a conversation.

Wow, all these comments here have described my life in the past few years perfectly.

I'm a senior in college, and wow, I've changed so much in the past two years it's been unbelievable. Two years ago, I was very, very awkward. Some students even made an online group pointing out how awkward I was (that situation was subsequently dealt with effectively, positively, and--given the events of the past two weeks here I should also point out--nonviolently). I had a few friends, but the group I hung out with freshman year split up and went their own ways after the first year of college. Some of them, including the best friend I've ever had in my entire life, I kept in touch with.

This particular friend decided to rush and pledge (learn more about, then go through the joining process) a co-ed fraternity sophomore year, and strongly encouraged me to check it out. I did that, and pledged. This fraternity is NOT your stereotypical social frat--I would never pledge nor fit into any of those. This one is co-ed, and doesn't have a house, but does do a lot of fun stuff together. Basically, it's a structured social life, one which has worked wonders for me. I've made some...no...most of the best friendships in my entire life through it, and it's taught me more about how to be a friend, and how to act socially, than everything in my life before it. It's also helped me in a lot of other areas beyond just having friends. I'm still very passionate about my special interest (my major, my hobby, and hopefully, my career path...job interviews start next week!), but I've learned how to socialize and empathize with others about virtually any other subject too, and that's just it...I've learned how to communicate feelings better (both sending and receiving), and be there for people. Some very social people have confided in me in recent months and years, and have later told others very publicly that I was there for them when it really mattered. I also got voted "Biggest Heart" in the fraternity three semesters in a row now. These are very unlike the very AS-like self I was coming into college.

I don't know if I have AS or not for sure, these past two years have been such a change I honestly can't say (I first learned the actual AS diagnostic criteria first about it first two years ago in a newspaper article, though I've had friends who are on the spectrum, and been in programs for it, for years). If I were to have come across the description just a few years earlier (especially in K-12), that would've been me to a tee. Now, I don't even know how well those set of characteristics even measure me. If I have AS, it's a mild case, and if I'm technically NT, I'm leaning in the AS direction. Many of the tests I've taken for AS show me scoring dead-center between the average for NTs and the average for AS. However, now, I feel like I'm either normal (or high-functioning, depending on if you think I have AS or not) enough where I don't really need any of the services which would be available (if any) to someone with AS, so I have decided to hold off on actually looking into a formal DX...I don't want a label that could be used against me by employers to hang over my head. If, in the future, I find myself in a situation where I find my AS tendencies are causing some serious issues in my life, I'll get checked out. Until then, I'm going to keep my options open. I do, however, keep my eye on issues facing the AS community (including WrongPlanet), because whether or not some doctor thinks a certain way or not about me, a lot of the issues of AS are issues of my life.

One thing I really do want to say, however, is that I think the lack of information out there about this phenomenon (AS or AS-like person able to completely change into someone who is a LOT more NT-like) is due to the simple fact that AS, and indeed all ASDs, are viewed way too often as a childhood thing. Google, for instance, if you do a search by topic and not just enter it into the field, lists Autism Spectrum Disorders under "Child and Adolescent" Mental Health Disorders. Almost every resource out there is specifically designed for children and parents and teachers of those children. I think there honestly are more resources online for the classmates of AS children than for AS adults, and what is out there for AS adults usually links back to the same two or three newspaper articles (which were really good ones which need more attention, but nonetheless, a circular reference). Much more needs to be done for adults with AS. Too many face too many problems NTs don't face, or even get in trouble when their awkward actions are misconstrued by the general public as something more ominous than is really the case (Example: an AS adult who photographs buildings because buildings are his/her area of interest. Now, after 9/11, police in many cities may view that as "suspicious activity" and act accordingly). There's another big area I see as an un-dealt with issue regarding Aspie adults, but rather than describe it here, I'll link to Jerry Newport's essay on it, which has to be one of the best writings about AS I've ever seen, at http://www.maapservices.org/MAAP_Sub_Find_It_-_Publications_Jerry_Newport_Article.htm.
AS is lifelong, and while some people may manage to do a lot better after college, or a certain time in their life, than before, there is not nearly enough being done for adults on the spectrum, and who exhibit the characteristics of AS.

Mr. President, I yield the soapbox.

I have a theory on this based on my own experiences and reading I've done.

Some positive changes seem to occur in Aspies because of learning to cope for sure.

Some comes from maturation.

A third cause that I'm starting to give a lot of weight is environmental/dietetic causes. Aspies seem to be very sensitive, more than they often realize consciously:

Researches have noticed for a while that auties/aspies seem to go through more or less problems depending on the season of the year. My particular cycle seems to be worse as I go into spring, then better as I go into fall and winter again. I LOVE fall. I feel much more energy and happiness then.

Also very important to aspies I think is their social environment. In certain circles, if you told someone I had AS, they'd laugh at you. Other places, they'd say, "Yep. Always knew that guy was messed up. All quiet and arrogant..." And when an Aspie finds a good environment with tolerant/simpatico people, he will be able to stretch his social skills out, meet more people, and feel like a much more typical human being. He'll have friends, girlfriends, and grow a lot. He'll feel like he himself has changed. But it's really more of a blossoming.

Also, diet seems to play a big part. I have done a lot of work on this, and it changed my life. I deteriorated and withdrew from people from sophomore year of college on, and in the last couple of years, because of staying off refined sugar and dairy completely and doing a terrific mineral program, I feel the best and most 'typical' I've felt my whole life.

The diet thing is hard to spot because we attribute it to other causes. One starts to withdraw, and the tendency is to attribute it to external forces, rather than one's own viewpoint and body.

I am not nearly as AS-ish as I once was, I am probably more NT when it comes to some things. However, if you have AS you always have AS. I think you can learn how to deal with AS related problems, and that is why you feel like you might not have AS.