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ChristinaCSB
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05 Sep 2008, 10:30 pm

How much time do you need to yourself? I just moved in with my boyfriend back in May and before that I lived with a roomate and my mom for three years. Mom works a lot so growing up I had plenty of alone time. My old roomate did not work or anything so I was always around her but the house was big and I could get away from her. She was also always in front of her computer so basically she lived in her own world most of the time. This is all a really long story but to sum this up I now live with my boyfriend and I do not get much alone time, except during the day after my classes and he is still it work but often then I am sleeping because my stupid medication makes me need like 12 hours of sleep. I do get some alone time during the day but it's not always enough.

Do you need lots of alone time and if so how much? I would think that most aspies need a lot of alone time. I'm getting used to it but I still love my alone time. Tonight I was out with my boyfriend and mother and now he went out to the bar and I was so keyed up and moody until he finally left. Anyone else get really moody and anxious when their space feels invaded? Sometimes I shut down as well.



demoluca
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05 Sep 2008, 10:37 pm

A couple of hours is ideal, but a few minutes can be fine. :D


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lionesss
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05 Sep 2008, 10:38 pm

I need a lot of alone time, and if I feel like I have been with others for too long I also get anxious.. and will excuse myself and simply take a walk (my favorite stim) However there are a few times when I don't want to be alone... it depends on my mood but most of the time I need my space. If I had a choice between sitting alone working on the computer and going out for a drink with someone, I would choose the first.


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chocoholic
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05 Sep 2008, 10:41 pm

I tend to need lots of time to myself, especially since I work in retail and have to interact with customers every day. And there are certain days where I just want to be left alone altogether and not even have to interact with my family, as I'm around people every weekday and the last thing I want to do is interact with more people at home when I'm already exhausted from doing so at work. I usually need several consecutive hours of time alone. On weekends when I have nothing that needs to get done, sometimes I'll spend most of the weekend in solitude. And I need every minute of it.



NeantHumain
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05 Sep 2008, 10:44 pm

I get plenty and plenty of alone time, so I don't know how much I'd need. I know I do need more high-quality social time, though.



tweety_fan
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06 Sep 2008, 1:29 am

quite a bit



Catster2
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06 Sep 2008, 1:32 am

I live alone so spend a lot of time alone I have got used to it but dont really like it especially on days like Saturday when there isnt much to do.



Danielismyname
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06 Sep 2008, 1:47 am

I need a lot.

But, I'm ok with people I like being around me; if they don't interact with me, this is seen as alone time for me.



Keith
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06 Sep 2008, 1:52 am

I like being alone by myself, so the more the merrier. Unless I was living with a girlfriend of mine, then I will make a sacrifice for it. If I wanted alone time, I would encourage her to go out with friends or stay out over night ;)



pinkbowtiepumps
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06 Sep 2008, 2:04 am

I'd say a few hours or so each day. I love my alone time, though I do love social time as well :)

It helps me to rejuvenate and reflect.



Ryn
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06 Sep 2008, 2:14 am

I need quite a bit. I don't know how many hours I need, exactly. I just know when it's time because I start thinknig "I can't take people anymore!" It really depends on the problems and situations in my life, my mood, my energy level, and many other factors.

I lived in my dorm a week with my roommate and I hadn't had any problems yet in overloading, though I had to evacuate so I haven't really gotten a guage for how much alone time I need.

I love my alone time, it's so awesome.


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Aurore
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06 Sep 2008, 2:42 am

I need a ridiculous amount of alone time. Which is bad, because I have a roommate now, so I just end up pacing around campus for hours at a time in the middle of the night. (She's so loud!)


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Arbie
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06 Sep 2008, 2:50 am

I live all by myself, I get all the alone time I want and then some. As for how much I need I don't know I have only ever gotten too little or too much. Right now I have too much and get pretty lonely sometimes.

I'll say the only time where I had just the right amount is when my parents went out of town for a few days and left me to watch over our land shortly before I moved out. It was perfect, and was the first time I really got to spend time to reflect all by myself since being an adult, I spent time just walking around outside, I let our dogs out to roam the land and before I ever got a chance to get lonely my parents were back. I'm guessing I need days to be alone to rest from a normal week of work or something.



sartresue
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06 Sep 2008, 8:46 am

Time in a bottle topic

A big complaint nowadays is that people do not have enough me time. They try to live their lives in one day. As the song says, do not speed your time away. I sometimes wish time could be saved, especially the ME-time. Once I am free of ex-husband, the time alone will be less fragmented so I will not have to be aware of how much time alone I have left before he returns. :)


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06 Sep 2008, 9:00 am

In being with a significant other, there are lots of things to be worked out. We have this battle at my house. We've developed a code word. When I need to be left alone and he wants to be right on top of me, I give him a small smooch and tell him that he's on the verge of committing a felony. He backs off, lets me do whatever and then I always come back. After 8-1/2 years, we are finally getting some ways of being able to give each other what we need individually and then being able to meet in the middle again.

If you're looking for suggestions, always be honest when you need time. It's not a bad thing to have your own hobbies and your own things to do. Sometimes people think that you move in with someone and you have to become surgically attached. That's not true. You're not siamese twins, you're lovers, friends, whatever. If you did everything together all the time, you'd prolly make each other crazy. That would be bad.


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darkwhispersdale
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06 Sep 2008, 9:23 am

At least a hour a day