Crap

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I don't even know where to post this so I guess I'll put it here since there are more posts here anyway. I don't know what my problem is lately. I just feel like crap mentally and fed up with people. It's getting more and more depressing. I feel like the more I'm out in the world, whether it's my job or some of the online sites I visit, I just feel more lonely and crappy. I feel like I never meet anyone that has any interest in me whatsoever. When I went to myspace today I had this urge to delete everyone on there (or most everyone) and start over. But what good that would do....probably wouldn't really. I don't feel like I'll ever really connect with anyone. No one gets me, no one cares to, in real life or the world of internet. I don't know why my self-esteem is quite this bad. I know that I have had issues with shying away from people that try to make friends with me, but I can tell if I don't have any common interests that it will just fizzle out. That's what I like to talk about, my interests. I try to listen to other people but when they just gossip and chatter on about social-type things I just get so bored and I know I don't hide it well. I don't get other people and they don't get me. I think I will probably die one of the loneliest people. If I had a funeral I really doubt more than a handful of people would show up because no one actually cares. I don't know if I really am the most boring person out there and that I have nothing to offer, or if my aspergers is just that bad that I come across as too strange, I don't know. I feel like the only people that ever talk to me is maybe a guy here and there and even that doesn't really last. I don't understand it.

You poor thing - I bet fewer people wd turn up to mine, in fact I doubt if there wd be anyone. But that really doesn't bother me. I spent ten yrs of my childhood in a goldfishbowl backward village so where I am now is fab.

I often think foods are a help in feeling better, the big help for me is out with the dog in wild country. No-one for two hors is good medicine for me. I have a routine of work and time off, little outside that interests me, apart from my own interests, which I'll not divulge just yet.

Do you listen to chamber music - Beethoven is good medicine.

Are you into any poetry, landscape, gardening, natural history in any way?

I never seem to be good at gardening, unfortunately. I do wish I lived in the country and could go for walks outside, that used to help me when I was younger, but that was a long time ago and I don't live there anymore. *sigh*. Maybe I should try to find some classical music, I don't know why I've never bought any because I do like it. My interests are a little out there, I like watching tv shows on the paranormal and would like to try ghost hunting. I don't think it's something I'd like to do alone though and no one that I've talked to has any interest in it. I suppose I should try to widen my interests a little.

Thanks for the link, there is just one station right? Right now I'm listening to something that sounds like it isn't necessarily classical but from another country (sort of african sounding). I assume they have a whole variety of music unless there's another link. I'll keep looking through the site.

Yes it's one station, broadcast 24 hours a day without any adverts ( it's funded by the tax payer ).

It's based around Classical Music but they also broadcast some Contemporary Music, Jazz and 'World Roots Music'- what is on now. I'm a bit underwhelmed by the 'World Music', though.

Try the 'listen again' feature where previous programmes and concerts can be played. They also have documentary programmes and discussions about culture- recently on 'Private Passions'( an interview programme where 'luminaries' chose and discuss their favourite music ) Simon Baron-Cohen was interviewed.

'Night Waves' is also usually a source for good intelligent discussion, too. Why not bookmark the station,


Magliabechi.

I get like that a lot too. It's just a feeling of...apathy and hopelessness? Tired of everyone and blase about life. I keep remembering how I was when I was a kid I was always so excited about everything (except school) and I wish I were like that now.