Maybe I was wrong? they told me I am normal.

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I had a discussion with my family just minutes ago. We went back to my childhood, reviewing
the lost memories. My dad, mom, and my sister all think I was normal. I played with my
relatives, yes, maybe I spent much time been alone, they think that's nothing great deal.

I remember the first time I found the article talking about Asperger, I thought that I was the
person they described. I felt relieved then I could forgive myself. But now, I don't know what
to do ,I don't know who I am. I believe I have Asperger because I am selfish, I cannot express myself well, I drew comic all the day, I liked to be alone, and my best friend is my dog. I feel ashamed. Maybe I just a person have problem socializing with other, maybe my obsession is normal, maybe I just the one lack of social skills.

My mom said I liked to chat with her when I was a child, my dad said I love running, my failures in team sport just because I didn't practice enough. My sister said I comforted her sometimes and I have no problem talking with others. She said everyone be selfish sometimes, lots of people say some rube words sometimes, all of these are kinds of disorder of personalities.

I feel upset, maybe I thought that I know who I am but I don't.

Don't be ashamed! Everyone's selfish, at least you're honest about it. Drawing comics isn't necessarily bad, is it? Also, dogs actually make very good best friends, except for their short life-spans.

Most people think if something's "wrong" with you it has to be totally apparent, and AS isn't always that way. If you want to know for sure, talk to a good psychologist: your family aren't necessarily trained professionals and they're used to the way you are.

Parents, many times, don't have the most objective view of their child when young, especially if the individual has Asperger's, as they tend to interact well with family members (they just suck at interacting with those outside of the family). This is usually why it's not picked up as much as Autism in the early years.

I wouldn't feel upset. They are right, everyone is selfish sometimes and rude and they like you for who you are. They accept you so that's why they think that way. They see you for you and like for who you are. They are not going to see a label.


I am thinking this is maybe why they saw me as normal too, not much different than other kids. I have the same problems they have so they think maybe others have that problem too, everyone is different, everyone learns different, everyone sees things different, everyone is good at different things and not everyone is good at something such a sports. I sucked at gymnastics and my mother said I wasn't made to be a gymnast because my body isn't built that way, I am built as a runner but I suck at running. She says it takes practice.


So I think it's a bless parents see their kid with a disability as normal, not broken or there is something wrong with them and they need to be fixed. They are looking at it at another way.

I think you're just a tad too hard on yourself. And being selfish doesn't really have anything to do with aspergers, but okay.....

Don't aspies come off as selfish because they are inflexible, they aren't aware of how other people are feeling because they don't pick up on any cues, etc.


I have came off as selfish because of those reasons.

Two thoughts. One, your family aren't diagnositic professionals. Their opinion doesn't determine if you have Asperger's or not. Two, since autistic traits tend to run in families, what one's family sees as "normal" isn't a good judge of if one has Asperger's or not.

In some ways, AS IS normal. Think about it. Normal is a range, the scope of someone's experience. AS is relatively frequent, and runs in families. AND, because most AS are smart, they can learn to accomodate for their limitations, and appear NT. Until you get a severe case, it's easy to confuse AS as simply normal but not average.

That said, I think it is really, really, REALLY difficult to know for sure on most adults if they are AS. My husband and I both looked at ourselves after my son's diagnosis, with my husband quickly deciding he is AS, and me deciding that while I have many AS traits, I'm pretty much NT. And the thing is, what does it matter? We're living our lives, we've got jobs, if we are different we long ago adjusted, adapted, accomodated, and basically got used to it. When a child is trying to cross barriers in his education, and a parent is trying to figure him out, a label can be really useful. When an adult has been confused about why they are different, or cannot make his way in life, a label may provide much needed answers and access to support services. But the rest of us? We're just who we are, a package of strengths and weaknesses, unique individuals, and hopefully content with it all.

So, who are you? YOU. One unique individual who isn't like anyone else, because NONE of us are like anyone else. Celebrate your strengths, work around your weaknesses, and if it feels right to you to identify as AS, go ahead.

ok, so you're saying that the symptoms of aspergers are;

- being selfish
- having no self expression
- like to be alone
- like drawing comics all day
- best friend is dog
- no good at sports
- don't talk to mom
- don't enjoy running
- unable to comfort relatives
- unable to talk to others

That's a long way from DSM IV.
If someone told me that these were their symptoms, I wouldn't automatically assume aspergers.

Of course, if you did the online Aspie Quiz honestly and got an aspie grade - then I'd be more convinced.

my AS i suppose got worse as time went on, i wasn't diagnosed till i was about 23. before that i was just considered very shy, and people thought i was selfish because i coundn't do things there way. i always knew i was different and it did scare me.i did become very relusive after i left school for a while & very depressed. then i was told i had depression & put on tablets which i'm still on, but things still didn't seem to go right & i was not communicating with other people & i didn't seem to have the same interst as other people. thats until i find out about AS in a book & it from then changed my life. i just knew this was me & realised there was an answer. it was not long after that i was diagnosed with AS.

hope this is of help.

you're not neccesarily AS. you should definately try to get a formal diagnosis, although that can be misleading too like in my case. I heard from one shrink that I "definately had it" and from the other that "it is all in my head" ;p

I always knew that my mind works very differently from others and that I'm very detached from reality. it's something you just know, even if you have no label for it, so if your only worry is about being selfish and a loner than maybe you're not AS after all...

Thank you guys. Actually I didn't want to be selfish at all, but some people told me I was selfish.

During the discussion, I found some codes my family didn't notice.

1. I fascinated by dinosaur and animals. I could remember every detail about animals, and recognize different species very well. My sister said that she always surprised by my ability to memory. I liked to read encyclopedia, I never read novel until I was 18. And I remember when I was a child, I went to my backyard every day searching for some weird bugs, but I didn't collect them.

2.My family said sometimes I spoke something unusual, what not a child supposed to say.(maybe too profound or something...) They thought I am unique and intelligent.

3.I managed my time will. Not like other children, I knew when to watched cartoon, eat lunch, sleep ,do my homework, to bathe. I led a regular, repeated life.

4.I could not accept anything change in my daily life.

Maybe, maybe I have some traits but I cannot surely say whether I am asperger or not because I am already 19, but I admit my parents' opinions are important for the diagnosis.
Howevere sometimes they are more objective than me. By the way, I will be diagnosed this Thursday.(but my doctor have no experience in diagnosing adults )

I don't think your a aspie. Most people are rude!! ! And can't express themsleves.