the mess I'm in...

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my flat is such a horrible mess.

most people associate being under the autistic pectrum with something like lining up things, cathegorising, having your closet organised in colours/fabrics/designers/whathaveyou

my flat is such a f*****g mess tho. I have things scattered all over the floor, and I know exactly where everything is, but still, it looks like utter chaos. I tried to work on that,especially since I find it so much easier to concentrate on things when my enviroment is nice and tidy, but still. I just can't get myself to do it. it's too much. there's always something more important (like one of my current obsessions) to do that clean the bloody flat.

my friends come over and say things like "man, you should really do some serious cleaning here" and they point things out to me and when they do, I see that they do have a point but the thing is, I feel like I don't see it myself unless it is pointed out to me... does anybody else find this hard??

there's times when I feel like the mess is taking over my whole flat, like there's nothing I can do about it and I'm just gonna drown in it... I feel so helpless about it. but still I can't get myself to do it, even if I know I'd feel soooo much better once it's cleaned...

I do occasionally clean (I loooove washing the dishes) but there's always something that keeps my mind away from cleaning the whole place PROPERLY and it's making me even more depressed about the whole thing... damn. anybody have any suggestions?

Actually, I believe that the 'organizing' & sorting constantly is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, not necessarily AS, though people with AS can have this additional disorder.



One thing that might help is to purge items you don't need. I tend to collect all sorts of crap that I think I might need later or keep older stuff (like clothes) that I think I might wear again one day. Just toss it out. That will cut some of it down right there.

If you think your place is bad, you have no idea. My mother has furniture from 3 houses crammed into one, and she collects books/magazine/papers and there are stacks of them everywhere... I'm here at her place helping her straighten it up because she's almost an invalid now and the task is daunting. If it were up to me, I'd just rent a giant construction dumpster and toss it all away. Can't do that, though, Mom would have a raging hissy fit.

Best thing to do is to gt rid of what you can live without, then sort out and box up what you want to keep but don't use. You'll have to pick up the rest and put it away, but at least this should cut the job down to size so it doesn't seem so impossible to work on. You don't have to do it all in one day, either. Set a time frame with little goals here and there (like, say, giving yourself a week to straighten up the bedroom, etc.).

the journey of a housand miles begins with a single step.

I have the same problem- and a roomate.

So i have to get it together and clean up every now and then- tho my roomie is very tolerant.

I really understand where you are coming from, I do have ADHD as well (so I was told anyway) and I cannot keep up with having a clean house. Okay, I have 2 young kids but the excuses can only go so far. They are in school all day, and yes I am busy during the day but I need to get my act together and clean the place up. I actually am planning on getting inexpensive drawers from Wal Mart this week to help organize some of the crap I have spread all over my 1st level...

yeah well, the thing is, I toss things all the time. in fact, I'm a minimalist big time, I'd loooove to just get rid of everything eccept my CDs, books and cooking devices, still I kind of feel obliged to keep the furniture since I realise that otherwise I would spoil my NT image and I don't want that.

the thing that I have most trouble with is getting my mind organised enough to get the place clean, and not think about all the other possible things that I could do while "wasting" my time cleaning.

My understanding of autism/asperger's is that we have to have things the way *we * want them, and there's no in between. Either we *have* to be perfectly well-organized, or it might as well be a total mess.
The difference between Asperger's and OCD (although they may overlap) is that OCD person has to be organized and clean for fear of what *might* happen. My parents are both OCD--they throw stuff away if it has the slightest bit of dirt on it. I was fighting with my dad while doing some cleaning recently, and he wanted to throw away some of my kids' toys that had gotten dirty. He screamed, "You might as well toss them in the sewer and give them to your kids to play with!!" I said,"Have you ever heard of washing them?"

In my case, I get frustrated by all the things in life I can't control. My home is one thing I can "control" and use in my Quixotic struggle against society's norms. Because my parents are so OCD, I rebel against them by being messy. I know that, if I have no other obligations, I'm capable of keeping a really neat house. But when I *do* have other obligations, which is always, housekeeping is my bottom priority.

Perhaps you have got some kind of executive dysfunction going on? lots of Aspies have trouble with that--planning, basically. If you've got a feeling like you want to do something, but you can't figure out how to start, and can't figure out what to do in what order, then that is probably part of the trouble.

I have found, incidentally, that picking up all the clothes and putting them in one place, then picking up all the books and papers, then picking up all the dirty dishes, seems to cut down on clutter in the short run.

Wow, that's exactly what goes on with me! I get lost in the process of figuring what to do first!

Yeah, what Caliista said. I don't know how to start because if I don't have it planned out past step 30 I'm hesitant to start out and I'm not even at step two. I love to organize but a lot of my issue comes form never wanting to throw anything away and not knowing where to move things to to get underneath/around/inbetween them. Knowing I'll have to throw something away. Feeling attachment and some guilt about that. And sometimes, not even seeing the dirt. And certainly being nauseated by the smell of bleach and/or ammonia and/or degreaser and/or Febreze doesn't help.

With that said, I have my *clean/organized* areas and my *disaster* areas in my house.

I've found what helps lately is just picking a small area and focusing on even smaller areas and going over it that way. As in "I am going to perfect this bathroom vanity counter".

I can really relate to this. I take care of my kids, do the dishes and laundry, and take care of my animals and thier cages and kitty boxes but everything else goes to hell. My living room is a mess and there is junk piled up on all my tables....I move things over so we can eat LOL. I just cant get motivated to clean it up. I actually got the dust off my ceiling fan today...ewww. I really wish I could get everything clean and organized because I think it would make me feel better. I also have the added problem of having my 21 year old son and my 18 year old daughter and her boyfriend living with me. They dont pick up after themselves very well. I cant wait until my daughter and her boyfriend find another place to live....I love her but she needs to go LOL. My 21 year old son Im afraid Im stuck with at the moment....he is bi polar and it recovering from drug addiction...he has a job but has the mind of a teenager.

I can tidy up after myself OK. It just happens to be other people, I hoover my flat once and the floor is full of crap a few days later, it makes the point of keeping it clean futile. I have things in an "organised mess" where I know where things are, then one "helpful" person tidies up for me and I can't find that prescription for my medication on the table where I last left it. I still haven't found it after 4 months or so.
People seem to be on the "You don't need a bigger place, you need to tidy your flat" level. I've been right on multiple occasions, why should this one be different, I could use the space of my bedroom to store stuff in. At the moment, the current layout is so crap, my chest of drawers have to block a window and I have a wardrobe, another window covered. So I keep the curtains closed.

I'm still certain I need a bigger flat. Then I can worry less about putting up shelves, I'd put them up to perfection or have loads of holes in the wall in rage of not getting that perfection even if it's slightly out...

nope-I do fine in my environment. I manage to keep it minimally mesy..

..well I have a bunch of books on my bed right now I'm goign to sleep by OH SHI-

I tell people that I'm selectively clean. I try to not to let too many coffee cups pile up on my desks, am horribly OCD about keeping my music, movies, and books organized, but tend to let things like papers, cables, and random crap pile up. Just quickly looking to my left, my drawing table is cluttered up with illustration board, a MIDI interface, a mailer thing I need to toss, a dead audio interface, a working MIDI interface that needs to be reconnected, tons of pencils, and a fan. Next to the obscenely organized records, I've got a massive pile of random junk that I don't know where to store that consists of dead cellphones, old combat boots, some old NIN tour book, packs of incense, some old computer fans, and who knows what else.

Apparently, when I moved out of my Mom's house 10 years ago, I left a tuna fish sandwich sealed in a ziplock bag sitting in my old, cheap student desk. It was eerily preserved, or so I was told once my Mom stumbled across it while cleaning. Since then, I'm pretty anal about keeping food stuff picked up :p

As long as you are not the type to open obviously off milk just to see how off it is... I made the mistake one time. NEVER AGAIN!! ! If it's gone off, don't open it...

I love washing dishes too.
I have loads of OCD about food... but i have a dark secret: i am very messy. I dont mind the mess (well sometimes i do)
My flat is tidy, but because i am married! My husband gives me list to follow, and that is the only way i can tidy up, because i have no idea what i am suppose to do!! !

I bought a great calendar last year:
http://www.motivatedmoms.com/order.html

it is VERY helful to be organised.

here is a free version (but for 2002, but still useful)
http://www.motivatedmoms.com/2002-Book.pdf
i print out the page 4, laminated it, and stick it on the wall. and i follow it every day (with my hubby list)

yeah, that sounds like me.

my flat is pretty big and actually looking back I think that whenever I lived in a smaller space I managed to keep it reasonably tidy. bigger flat = bigger mess so Keith you have been warned LOL