Please help!

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Hi. I am new to wrong planet. My 15 year old daughter has AS. She gets very angry if you even mention it. As her Mom, I am trying to find out everything I can , so I can help her! She is having a very, very difficult time going to school. I am wondering if anyone has advice on how school was made easier for them. And also advice on her accepting AS. She is such a great girl. Thank you!

i dont think anyone gets out of school without a complete lifelong trauma (well atleast for me it is)
WELCOME i think the best is to not treat your girl as she is worth lesser than because she is autistic
sinds as isnt mental retardnes but social retardnes just support her and dont ask her to do to much when comming home from school

Does she have an IEP? If her AS is causing problems with the academic side of school, she should have an IEP so that she can get needed accommodations (extra time, more support, etc.)

She is currently being tested at school. She will have an IEP. She is super smart. She has a lot of trouble with social areas. So much so, it is difficult to get her there everyday. She has been on a reduced schedule, but needs to start attending a regular day. She gets so angry about it everyday.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, Ericka! It seems high school was/is an especially difficult time for many here (including me). I wish you and your daughter all the best.

As well as having a thread here, please do also post in the Parents' Discussion section.

I cannot speak for your daughter but I sure would like to have been introduced to at least one person who was diagnosed with AS when I was 15.

If she hates it when you mention it then maybe you should let her be for now. She'll come around if she needs help. It is also worse if everyone knows about it. She should tell people at her own will, and not be exploited like some handicapped ret*d who belongs in the corner.

Hi Ericka,

I've just sent you a PM, hopefully it might give you some insight and ideas!!

Hey! You sound like a really good mom for doing this. My advice is to gather all the information you can, and give her a little space in the mean-time (it sounds like she's really self-conscious about it--I personally was relieved to find out about my own AS, but I can also understand someone being uncomfortable about the idea of them being "different.") Welcome and good luck

Welcome to WP!

What aspect is angering her, is that clear from the conversations? There are stages to coping, and this is a tough one - it affects your entire life, and it will not go away. Best route is to adapt it to your own needs. In experience with students (and myself), it is often abstractly connected issues that infuse simple ideas with uncontrollable emotional content; try to keep the two seperate. Writing sometimes works well, in that there isn't tone or other 'language' to try and interpret or be sensitive to.


M.

Ericka,

AS is simply an explanation! HEY, it says that OTHERS have been through it, shows some potential, etc... If she is somewhat happy about where she is, the name shouldn't offend her. Point out all her STRENGTHS!

Hi, Ericka!

Just bring her to Wrong Planet and turn her loose.
She can ask any question she likes, or just rant and let off steam to people who get it.
Here, you'll get a simple, honest answer to the stuff that really matters (as defined by HER)
Rather than begging for information from some professional who doesn't want to answer (and probably doesn't really know.)

May I suggest that you check out the parents forum, you might find some answers there

It's a shame the school is allowing her to have such a lousy time. I'd talk to them about it, see if they can do more while you wait for the test. It sounds to me as if they might not be doing all they could to alleviate the situation.

I guess it's not unusual for teenagers to get angry and refuse to discuss a subject. Heck, when I was a teen, I would get angry if my parents tried to get me to talk about my day's experiences at all. So you've got an uphill struggle there. Maybe (if she'll listen) you could try to explain that to acknowledge the condition is the first step towards getting treated as an individual who has their own strengths and weaknesses, instead of the usual "one-size-fits-all" mentality. Teenagers, just like the rest of us, usually like the idea of being accepted for who they really are. It could be a big asset to have the AS label that (hopefully) forces the authorities to do that.

Thanks to all that have welcomed me!! I am not sure how to reply to one specific person. I will for sure check out the parent discussion. I missed that when I first got on here. I do think the school is trying. I will try different advice I get. I just want her to feel better, and have "good" days,and positave things to look forward to,ect. I am also checking into a local parent support group for AS.