How many AS does it take to work out a social cue?

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No, this is not an inappropriate joke thread; the topic was just a sarcastic little thing that was ringing around my head when I thought to pose this question to you guys.

If you ask how someone is doing, and they don't ask how you're doing back, what does this mean?

I interpret it as a cold gesture, which rattles me up considerably when it happens with a person I thought I was at least amicable with.

Your thoughts? It isn't our strong suite to pick these out, but I think from each of our own perspectives we can find some sort of honest medium.

Thirty-five.

Thirty to figure out the social cue, and five to explain it to the rest of us.

And to answer your question, not reciprocating with "how are you" is common enough that I don't think it's a deliberate slight.

"How are you" is a greeting, not a real question; so if they make any sort of replying noises, you've been acknowledged and greeted in return.

Honestly, that is usually the first thing that jumps into my head, but I've gotten better about imagining other possibilities (sometimes too many!) and realizing that maybe something else is on their mind, and it's not necessarily a personal thing.

Still, when it comes to social stuff, I'm stuck at the level of possibilities rather than actually being able to guess the real answer. I really can't tell you exactly what was on the person's mind or why else they might have done that.

Does this throw anyone else on the phone?...

Caller: Hi This is <XXX>

Me: G'day <XXX>

Caller: Fine thanks...




I always cavitate a bit when this happens...

I can quite clearly remember initiating a full self diagnostic when asked that question
something like ...

hmm....
Do I have a belly ache? no A head ache? no
How do I feel?...I'm not sure yet... not exactly happy... not exactly sad...
...not bored because I was just thinking about xyz...

"... ... ... (ten seconds) ... ...Um... I don't know!"

And later I learned some things like:

IF "what's up?" THEN SAY "not much"
IF "how are you?" THEN SAY "OK I guess"
IF "marco" THEN SAY "polo"
IF someone says anything THEN SAY what I heard another person say after that

sometimes being asked how I am reminds me ofthis xkcd comic

I have the opposite of the comic. When people ask me how I am I often tell them. Unfortunately for me, this means they tend to avoid asking the same question twice.

And no, I typically don't ask back. It's like I just use it as an excuse to talk to someone. Sometimes I remember to ask back. Not enough though.

Sometimes I see it as a scenario where the person who gathers the most information wins. I always lose. I feel it's more geniunely polite that way, even though it's probably not.

What's an xkcd comic? If you mean me, I'm serious and the truth is I was like that in my teens.

The topic name put a little smile on my face. Funny.

valmikesmith, xkcd is a webcomic. there's a link in my post. there's one called "small talk" that shows pretty much exactly what you said. it's happenedto me too

Love the title and the topic!

I take it this way: if there's enough time for a full greeting exchange between you and they don't ask back, it means they're not into getting closer. Often, though, they don't ask back because there's no time (eg. you're getting out of the elevator already or there's some pressing issue to talk about, etc.).