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TazCrystal
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27 May 2019, 10:06 pm

I went out today with my care taker for a walk. I also wanted to talk. The walk ended badly though. I feel sad.

I had a fun walk until some people made fun of me for flapping my hands. They pointed and were laughing. I even heard someone ask “what’s wrong with him?”. It kind of ruined my walk and day. I decided to just walk back home ahead of my care taker. I live in a semi independent group home. I sort of lost confidence.

I talked to my caretaker later though. She told me I should not pay attention to ignorant people but that is very hard to do when people say I have stuff wrong with me. I don’t think I have anything wrong with me. I am different, but I’m not less.

She explained that I was different which can sometimes make people feel uncomfortable. She also explained that I had developmental delays. I started to feel better. I feel so insecure when stuff like this happens



teksla
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28 May 2019, 2:07 am

It's important not to let ignorant people get you down.

I recently faced discrimination over having my service dog denied access, but I got through it - by thinking about it and talking about it with my family and friends.

It gets better.


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enz
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28 May 2019, 3:24 am

"Before you judge someone walk a mile in there shoes"



Gull1ver
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28 May 2019, 3:48 am

I'm sorry that this happened to you. There are some cruel people in the world, but I still think the majority of people are decent. I hope you regain your confidence soon and meet some of them.



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28 May 2019, 4:37 am

I really don't know why people should point and laugh. If they are ignorant enough to find it that funny then they could at least laugh discreetly, as not to hurt your feelings. And if they're uncomfortable with it then they should walk away. That's what I do if I feel uncomfortable around a stranger, although someone flapping their hands doesn't make me uncomfortable because I immediately know that that person is autistic or has some sort of intellectual disability or even a Tourette's-related tic or something. People need to understand that not everyone can be the same.


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Teach51
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28 May 2019, 4:49 am

TazCrystal wrote:
I went out today with my care taker for a walk. I also wanted to talk. The walk ended badly though. I feel sad.

I had a fun walk until some people made fun of me for flapping my hands. They pointed and were laughing. I even heard someone ask “what’s wrong with him?”. It kind of ruined my walk and day. I decided to just walk back home ahead of my care taker. I live in a semi independent group home. I sort of lost confidence.

I talked to my caretaker later though. She told me I should not pay attention to ignorant people but that is very hard to do when people say I have stuff wrong with me. I don’t think I have anything wrong with me. I am different, but I’m not less.

She explained that I was different which can sometimes make people feel uncomfortable. She also explained that I had developmental delays. I started to feel better. I feel so insecure when stuff like this happens



You have a wonderful careworker. Unfortunately people are not all smart and you will always meet people who are ignorant regarding autism and its related differences in behaviour. It's wonderful that you can enjoy your walks, and indeed you should do whatever your heart desires. Probably these same people who laughed are decent enough though obviously inferior to you in sensitivity.
Do your own thing, try and develop a thick skin and not pay attention to these silly, immature people. You will learn to not take them seriously I hope. Please think of us all cheering you on when you take your next walk!!


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shortfatbalduglyman
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28 May 2019, 9:33 am

Everyone has things wrong with them

Nobody is perfect

Ableism

Idiots make fun of the way I walk

Freedom of speech

:roll:


Please ignore them

You can't stop them


They just have too much self esteem


:mrgreen:



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28 May 2019, 9:42 am

TazCrystal,

I'm sorry that happened to you. People who make fun of others are mean.



TazCrystal
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28 May 2019, 7:45 pm

Teach51 wrote:
TazCrystal wrote:
I went out today with my care taker for a walk. I also wanted to talk. The walk ended badly though. I feel sad.

I had a fun walk until some people made fun of me for flapping my hands. They pointed and were laughing. I even heard someone ask “what’s wrong with him?”. It kind of ruined my walk and day. I decided to just walk back home ahead of my care taker. I live in a semi independent group home. I sort of lost confidence.

I talked to my caretaker later though. She told me I should not pay attention to ignorant people but that is very hard to do when people say I have stuff wrong with me. I don’t think I have anything wrong with me. I am different, but I’m not less.

She explained that I was different which can sometimes make people feel uncomfortable. She also explained that I had developmental delays. I started to feel better. I feel so insecure when stuff like this happens



You have a wonderful careworker. Unfortunately people are not all smart and you will always meet people who are ignorant regarding autism and its related differences in behaviour. It's wonderful that you can enjoy your walks, and indeed you should do whatever your heart desires. Probably these same people who laughed are decent enough though obviously inferior to you in sensitivity.
Do your own thing, try and develop a thick skin and not pay attention to these silly, immature people. You will learn to not take them seriously I hope. Please think of us all cheering you on when you take your next walk!!


Yeah, I think my caretaker is awesome. I get to feel very independent when I’m with her. My parents are very overprotective when I am with them. They don’t let me do things by myself. I’m with them every weekend. Right now I take the bus during the week. I have issues with knowing where to put tickets though. I have processing issues.

A lot of people are very ignorant I notice. I have stress in stores sometimes because it’s hard for me to count change fast. People don’t really understand and aren’t very patient. I also repeat questions so that I know for sure. People don’t like that. I have favorite words that I repeat out loud too. It’s soothing. My favorite word right now is Crucial. It sounds really nice. I spell it too. People stare. My family and caretaker don’t care though. They like stuff that calms me.

I try not to take people seriously. My family and caretaker help remind me that I am smart and capable. I was in special education but I took regular classes with modifications. I wanted to take A hard English. I did. I liked it. PE was hard for me for some reason though.

Thank you for your kind words



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31 May 2019, 12:41 am

I've had strangers make fun of me for flapping and stimming too Taz, it sucks. They were crowded in a group and they kept looking at me, then looking away and laughing. The next time they looked at me, I smiled and said hi, and I didn't stop flapping. They weren't sure what to do so they just sort of smiled back awkwardly. I felt vindicated.


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31 May 2019, 12:59 am

In my experience, kids that fall into cliques and make fun of others are usually insecure and cowardly. They dislike themselves, and so try to put others down so that they can feel superior.

That you got made fun of says more to me about their issues than yours.


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quite an extreme
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31 May 2019, 2:21 am

TazCrystal wrote:
I had a fun walk until some people made fun of me for flapping my hands. They pointed and were laughing. I even heard someone ask “what’s wrong with him?”. It kind of ruined my walk and day. I decided to just walk back home ahead of my care taker. I live in a semi independent group home. I sort of lost confidence.


Autistic people are flapping the hands if for expression emotions (fun, joy or nervousness) and for stimming. This movement is alien to me and for this I think autism is something completely different then Asperger's. Before I even knew anything about autism I was talking to two guys once in a bar a little bit about the importance of body language and how important it is to express self-confidence once it comes to women. One of the guys did hand-flapping because of his nervousness. Without even thinking about I hit on his arm and sayd: "Stop that!". He did because he realized that I disliked it but really wanted to help him. To me it looked ridiculous and he had to follow my words instead of being nervous and doing strange movements like this. He stopped and I think that he realized that it's something he should never do if he wants to be taken seriously by other people. I think my body language was OK this day because a waitress did rubbing on me every time she passed me while I was talking to the guys. But I didn't get her emotionally.


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Last edited by quite an extreme on 31 May 2019, 4:41 am, edited 2 times in total.

Trueno
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31 May 2019, 2:29 am

Fern wrote:
In my experience, kids that fall into cliques and make fun of others are usually insecure and cowardly. They dislike themselves, and so try to put others down so that they can feel superior.

That you got made fun of says more to me about their issues than yours.


Exactly this. Sorry you had to go through that. It's their problem, not yours.
I've had people smirking at me and I haven't even figured out why.


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KeepOn
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31 May 2019, 5:00 am

Some of us have different shims for private and public places for this reason. Maybe there's a more subtle stim you could use in public that won't draw so much attention to you? It's also easier to stim outdoors in the evening when there's less people present.

I know you shouldn't have to change yourself but it's the reality of the world we live in that some people will laugh sadly. You have to weigh up the pros and cons. For me personally having people laugh at me would cause so much anxiety and embarrassment it would out-weigh any benefits of hand flapping. There's no point of me stimming to help anxiety if people's reactions only increase it.



TazCrystal
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31 May 2019, 8:02 am

KeepOn wrote:
Some of us have different shims for private and public places for this reason. Maybe there's a more subtle stim you could use in public that won't draw so much attention to you? It's also easier to stim outdoors in the evening when there's less people present.

I know you shouldn't have to change yourself but it's the reality of the world we live in that some people will laugh sadly. You have to weigh up the pros and cons. For me personally having people laugh at me would cause so much anxiety and embarrassment it would out-weigh any benefits of hand flapping. There's no point of me stimming to help anxiety if people's reactions only increase it.


Yeah. I have different stims for private and public spaces. I don't spin in public. I sometimes just flap my hands without being able to help it though.

I don't mind stimming in public. I sometimes don't pay attention to people. When I do, I will try to stop stimming.