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i_wanna_blue
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05 Oct 2008, 3:15 am

Does anyone feel or place pressure upon themselves to be more like eveyone else? I know it's always said 'be yourself', but really, how many of us want to be ourselves?
From a personal point of you I place myself under extreme pressure by trying to fit in and by attempting those everyday simple tasks which others seem to accomplish with ease.

I have anxiety and avoidant behaviours (from childhood), but I still persist by joining sports teams, going to social events and trying to make friends despite being useless and inept. Dont get me wrong, I avoid plenty of situations but I feel so guilty especially after noticing how easy it seems for others, that I force myself to endure them. I dont know what to do!! !

On the one hand, I feel unnatural and inept but if I avoid certain situations I feel guilty as if I'm taking the easy way out. Maybe its my perfectionist attitude, or maybe its pride or stubborness, but I just cant lower my expectations.



lexis
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05 Oct 2008, 4:00 am

I thought you were talking literally for a moment (ie stimming etc).

I'm not by nature very sociable but as a teen I was put under considerable pressure to form friendships with my peers and so for a few years I regularly socialized with more people than I can count off the back of my hand! But because I found it so difficult with 'social cues', body language etc socializing really exhausted me and often after a long day of 'work' I would come home and sleep constantly. Also, if anything went wrong, such as an argument between two friends or someone taking their personal problems out on me (I was well-valued but an easy target for isolated aggression since I was so passive) I would obsess about it constantly and end up crying and exhausted.

Now I'm over that and it's one reason that I can be grateful for developing depression and generalized anxiety disorder- it stopped me from socializing; I was wasting away thanks to the oh-so important norm that is friendship! Now at college, I often get told that I 'need a friend', but I won't fall for that again. I'd rather be alone than feel like death.

Also, when I was younger I did my best to convince others of similar interests by imitation, only I was useless at it. For example, in maths class me and a few mates were talking about getting drunk and 15 minutes after we had finished our conversation and were working on 'powers', I spontaneously and quite dramatically exclaimed 'I need a beer!'. :oops: :roll: :lol:



captain_nonsense
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05 Oct 2008, 4:06 am

Benzo's



Kelsi
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05 Oct 2008, 5:50 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
Does anyone feel or place pressure upon themselves to be more like eveyone else?


When I was younger. Now I'm older, I can't be bothered. I'm still very careful at work though - I act NT enough to do my job and keep it. The rest of the time I act however I want to. I couldn't think of anything worse than joining a sports team or attending a social event 8O .



ToughDiamond
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05 Oct 2008, 6:13 am

I probably do quite a lot to appear "normal." If I'm not sure what to do, I'll consider what Mr.Average would do, and that becomes the default choice.

But there's lots of times when I want to go one way but I get this "everybody will think I'm insane" thing.



Chaotica
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05 Oct 2008, 8:29 am

I'm always "Myself" but almost every day somebody or some event makes an impression on me, and sometimes I feel like there's "something" intruding into my character and behaviuor. When I was a child I found it interesting and pretended to be somebody else, I used to play different games in which I wasn't "Me". When grown up I successfully resist to it and feel more safe. If I could understand it earlier, I'd probably be less sensitive. But... now I am what I AM.



MrMark
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05 Oct 2008, 8:40 am

I think everyone feels pressure to meet others expectations. It’s called peer pressure. If you tell me to be myself, I’ll stop talking to you.

I was advised to not focus on the autism so much, to learn the social skills and do the behaviors. More and more though, I find that I prefer to just be myself. Needless to say, I don’t get many dates.


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"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
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CGstucknthe80s
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05 Oct 2008, 5:57 pm

I've felt pressure to be normal since high school, because the teachers in the A.I. room taught us to fit in rather than stand out and accept who we were. I'm slowly but surely beginning to accept who I am and that it's better to be myself rather than be something I'm not. It feels miserable for me to try to be normal in order to fit in.