Am I Aspergerous?

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Hello,

I am absolutely intrigued by this website because I feel like I might have found out something about myself - I feel like I may have Asperger's. I am a 22 year old male living in the UK. Here are some of the things which prompt this thought:

- I recall inventing neologisms throughout various parts of my life, including when very young. I remember perhaps at the age of 6 or 7 referring to a part of my parents' garden as the 'morrow ditch' when I played games with my younger brother. I continue to use neologisms with my brother today, but I only use these words with him, and they are pretty much meaningless words and I just use them for humour. Meaningless words like 'omnigoth' and 'omnirife'. Well, I know they are meaningless, but I am still quite attracted to them and feel as though they may have some kind of abstract significance which is beyond the possibilities of language. I went through a period when I would kind of repeat these words ad nauseam in my mind.

- I am intensely introverted. I have often had arguments with my father regarding this (though we do get on very well 99% of the time) and he has expressed that he thinks I am a loner and has argued with me that I never open up to him or talk enough. I have been very introverted all my life but I talk at great lengths with people that I know well and people in the workplace. I remember being in the office with one of my university lecturers once and she expressed some concern about how shy I was and advised that I should go and see my doctor. I never did.

- I struggle a lot with eye contact. My earliest memory of this is trying to look at various teachers in the eye and my eyes would almost well up with tears - even in friendly, one-to-one situations. I find it difficult and I prefer to avoid eye contact. I never actually noticed that it was such a big issue to me until I began trying to get a job and I was told by several people who were completely independent of each other that I did not make any eye contact with them and that I would be far more successful if I could do this. These people were professionals, such as careers advisors, employment officers, and so on. I can now make eye contact but it feels very forced and unnatural to me.

- I feel like I am above average intelligence (apologies for the arrogance!) but have had a fair amount of trouble with maths in my life. When I was below the age of 11 I had to have a bit of extra help for maths and my parents paid for a maths tutour when I entered high school. I excelled at things that interested me such as Computer classes and English classes. Language was never a struggle for me at all, which might exclude me from being intensely Aspergerous: I got brilliant English grades at school, almost full marks in some of the exams, and have always loved reading and literature. I don't think I speak very well in person, however, because I feel like I sometimes talk too fast, so I make a conscious effort to slow down, so people can understand me. I sometimes struggle to express my point clearly in verbal speech because I have a lot of different thoughts going on, and the main point is often lost amongst these.

- Obsessions tend to guide my life - but I don't feel this is a bad thing. I can define my life very clearly in terms of the obsessions that I have followed; particular computer games, piece of music, music, certain thoughts.. there are very strong currents running through my life. I make endless lists pretty much all the time - my wallet is full of them - of tasks that I want to do, things to buy, anything and everything, really. The obsessions don't damage my general welfare, though. Certain obsessions have lasted years in my life.

- I am extremely habit/route driven. I love my routines and follow them closely: I shower at the same time every day, do all my personal hygiene in the same order, do most things I can in set routines. I don't get upset or angry when the routine is disturbed, though, and i'm comfortable with breaking them if I go on holiday or whatever - though I always take certain routines with me, such as the hygiene routine, things I do before bed, etc. I do get reasonably angry if I am late for something, like a class or work or meeting friends or whatever. I like to be very punctual.

- I am very attentive to detail. In my jobs I have taken great care to work according to great detail, and this regularly been commented on by people completely independent of one another. I am generally attentive to small details in things that interest me, such as music, computers, whatever. However, I also like to have a kind of 'grand view' of things - I am attracted to broad overviews, grand plans, large-scale currents in world history, and so on.

- I feel fairly emotionally cold and feel like an outsider. I have a memory of being around the age of 11 and trying to join a local gang, made up of other young kids. I had befriended this one boy and in order to join the gang it was decided that I had to pass a test of running around obstacles, climbing through little tunnels, within a certain time frame. So I gamely gave the challenge my best shot, and then the gang of kids went away to deliberate. My friend came back and said that I had passed the test but the other kids were not sure because 'they think you are a bit weird'. I couldn't understand what they meant by this. I know this could happen to any kid, and kids are like this, but it seems like a metaphor for my whole life. I generally don't care about being accepted by other people as an adult, however. Socially, I prefer situations which are fairly rigid rather than dynamic and fluid - for example, i'm far more comfortable with a trip to a bar that I have been to plenty of times, when I know exactly what will happen, rather than any other new location.

So: does this sound like Asperger's or not? Perhaps I am just quite introverted? Should I actually just go to my doctor and say 'err.. I think I have Asperger's?

Thanks a lot for your help, guys.

Sounds Aspie to me!

And some of us are good at English! Why do you think there's a forum area devoted to Art, and Literature?

Well, unfortunately, many professionals don't know jack about Asper"j"ers, as they mispronounce it, so I wouldn't recommend just waltzing up to your GP. That can sometimes lead to irritating complications with medical agencies or social services...
Just keep in mind it's not a disease to be cured, but a genetic mutation giving different neurological priorities, you'll be fine. Congratulations, you are - technically speaking - not really a homo sapien. High five!

I actually work for the Social Services so it would be quite funny to get involved with my colleagues in this way, as a patient/service user.

I am seeing my GP at the moment because I suffered a long bout of depression - now resolved after a few months of SSRI treatment - and some problems with anxiety. Is there actually any point in bringing it up with them? As you say, it's not something that can be 'cured' per se anyway.

The main thing that I would gain from an 'official' diagnosis is that it would make it easier for my parents to understand me, particularly my loner tendencies. Not that I don't have friends, by the way - I like going out and getting drunk/interacting with them at events and things, but I definitely prefer my own company.

Re: English - point noted.

Anyone else?

I would say Aspergenuous.

No, it's none of that crap. I've met enough stupid aspies to know it isn't true.
Merely a genetic observation - technically speaking, those with the Asperger mutation (further clarity pending research) do not qualify as homo sapiens sapiens. Early stages of divergance; essentially a repeat pattern of the homo sapiens-homo neanderthalis split. Early stages, remember.

Sounds mostly like me except that I stink at all English and Literature classes (perhaps due to the fact that english is my 2nd language). I am quite good at math though.

Well, anyway, regardless of having it or not, your post certainly fits in here.

slowmutant, different scientific organizations hold that to different standards. You should hear the infighting on that respect... In my pocket of the scientific world, it is typically distinctive chromosomal difference of approximately four. Considering fifteen chromosomes have been preliminarily identified, that's enough for some - who front veiw it as a disease in need of cure - have temporarily labelled Aspergers as non-homo sapien hominid sentient, pending further research. In the unlikely event it's proven false, such a classification would be rescinded.
But, enough of that - very off topic.

Another factor I just remembered from somewhere - when I was a baby the doctor told my mother I had a particularly large head! I suppose it is a bit large. Finding hats that fit is a nightmare.

Edit: apparently I can't post URLs, so type in 'Pub Med' in Google and then copy and paste in 'Head circumference as an early predictor of autism symptoms in younger siblings of children with autism spectrum disorder' to see the study.

Were you born by C-Section? Is your head that big?

We are convinced and offer you the official WP Dx. Congratulations, my dear fellow.

Yes, I was born by C-section. I don't know whether it was because of the head thing. It doesn't look massive now or whatever - the rest of me appears to have caught up.