Autistic kids vs NT kids

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I usually can't stand kids, they make no sense to me. they are like little drunken (and high) adults, out of control, I don't understand them at all and they make me feel very alert and uneasy.

they don't seem normal to me, actually I'd say they seem pretty insane and illogical.

I was watching some videos of autistic kids on youtube today and they seemed perfectly ordinary to me. I caught myself thinking: "how are these kids autistic? they seem just normal to me". although, normal from my point of view. I noticed all the autistic traits in them but I had to focus and look for them, it didn't strike me as an obvious abnormality or something.

I guess it's not the same as seeing those kids live in action (I've never met any autistic kids in real life) and there were also some very low functioning ones that were quite strikingly different. all in all though, they seem quite allright to me, even more allright than the local bunch of screaming pre-school monkeys I can see on the playground out of my window.

the more I look at those videos the less I understand parents who are willing to endanger their autistic kids by giving them chelation and lethal crap like that, not to mention wanting to kill them as so many of them publicly admit to have considered doing at some point.

where is this abnormality that I obviously don't see that NT parents perceive as so threatening?

I watched a lot of videos at one time, and since especially videos about kids are informative, I watched those too. And with some that were made to demonstrate obvious autistic repetitive actions mostly of those with classical, I didn't know what they were about. Some were obvious, such as flapping or noises, but others don't even remotely looked autistic to me.

I was like, 'well, that's what kids do, what I did as a toddler, that's normal for kids too (that's what I thought), so where's the part on repetitive actions and stimming?' Some I couldn't notice, I had to read responses to clue me in what was seen there that was autistic.

I just wonder how parents of first-borns actually are able to know what is individually their child in action, what's autistic and what's just age appropriate.

Do they listen to a professional?
Do they actually notice until they're told? (Thinking of regression here.)
Do they observe other children or read books?
Is it because (sometimes) they're not autistic and thus 'feel' that their child behaves differently from other children of the same age?

I think what you don't get to see are the scary meltdowns, the frightening unawareness of danger, and the worry that happens when a child shows little to no progress on the path to independence (toilet skills, self-help skills, etc).

Not that I agree AT ALL with the parents who take the measures you detest. It's just that having lived with a small glimpse into what they may be going through, I have an ounce of understanding.

I think I have the coolest son in the world, and you would probably like him. Most of the time. I think an AS letting off stress is really annoying to other AS due to senosry conflicts, and my son isn't imune from having to do that (my AS husband goes up a wall when my son acts like that). But he can also talk extremely intelligently about a whole host of subjects, and he seems to have a particular affinity with "peculiar" adults. He has made adult friends in the oddest times at the oddest places. I've had to teach him to hold back on that for safety reasons, of course, but it is a gift when applied wisely.

Todays parents are experiencing a heightened awareness and fear of autism that I think is actually a negative. They are actively looking for "warning signs" and freaking out if their kids don't speak on schedule. I'm blaming Autism Speaks et al for that, although I really can't say for sure if my assignment of blame is appropriate.

When my son was younger, I had no idea he was on the spectrum, although we did know he was "different." After all, parents of young children are flooded with the experience of grandparents, relatives, neighbors, and anyone anywhere who has ever raised a child (you actually have to learn to tune it out while being polite). And my son attended play groups, where it was easy to see how the children interacted and how each was unique. But since my son had no developmental or language delays, and was ahead on many things, we mostly heard that he must be gifted, super intelligent, and the feedback was mostly positive, on what a joy he was. My playgroup friends knew he was more difficult to raise from a parenting perspective, however, because they could see that he slept less, moved more, asked more difficult questions, didn't handle transitions, etc.

But when you look at the bundle of positives that come along with the difficulties on a high spectrum child, you aren't going to see it as something "wrong" unless you have a pre-diposition to worry about it. I did not, and I actually took a lot of offense to my son's preschool suggesting that something could be "wrong." We humored them and took my son to family counseling, and the counselor was with us, nothing was "wrong," he was just a very special "magic" child, and the preschool had created stress for him with some of their policies.

It was kindergarten that started to change things for us. My son no longer had the stress issues from his preschool, he was actually very happy, but he was having difficulty doing the work in the way everyone assumed he was capable of. The disconnect between apparent intelligence and work product became very apparent, and by the time his first grade teacher recommended we have him assessed we were in total agreement that there was something going on we couldn't figure out. The real issue is from a comorbid, his difficulty with his hands, but once AS was suggested all the pieces started falling into place.

I have mixed feelings about what earlier diagnosis could or could not have done for him, and that is too much to go into here, but hopefully the trend will settle into a reasonable place that works for the best, long run, for most kids. I don't think society has found the right balance yet, but such things take time.

In non-AS autism, I believe it is generally an inability to make eye contact, delayed speech, and an aversion to being touched that is perceived as abnormal (though I wouldn't say threatening) in early childhood. This wouldn't even apply to Aspergers, as one of it's defining features that separates it from high-functioning autism is no delayed speech or obvious symptoms before about age four.

As for chelation, it is potentially harmful method of "therapy" based on the flawed premise of mercury causing autism.

I am under the spectrum, I had my fair share of issues as a child, late speech and everything and I got no real therapy (other than being thrown into special ed??) and I live a fully independent life.. a family and all too. But my son is developing the same way as I did as a child, he is high functioning but his speech is delayed (he is 4.5 and talks like a 3 year old) and is getting intensive therapy as well, and funny enough... I worry about his future too. I worry whether or not he will live a fully independent life.. and logically I tell myself if I was able to and I had no real early intervention then he will too. It's just me being a mom, worrying about the kids. He used to have meltdowns and stim much, much more than he does now, and that was awful. Thank goodness he has outgrown 95% of it (he only will have a meltdown if he is missing something that he is attached to). And don't get me wrong, I don't want to change who he is, because he is who he is. I am far from those moms who are desperately looking for a "cure". I just want him to function in this chaotic world! I want to see him grow up and live an independent and fulfilling life.

As far as "NT" kids are concerned.. well let me tell you my nephew that is "NT" and is almost 4 may speak a lot more than my son does but he takes so much after my sister in law She is a spoiled princess and that is all I am going to say. The apple isn't falling all that far from the tree so far. My son is MUCH better behaved than my "NT" nephew!! !

I didn't make eye-contact as a child and hated being touched as well, still my parents never tried pushing me under an approaching train or giving me any sharp knives to play with. they thought it was an unusual trait and they would get angry at my constant embarrassing remarks but they just thought I was a bit odd and that's it.

I just don't get all that hostility towards autistic kids, they are so much less threatening than NT kids.

I have done volunteer work with autistic kids and NT kids. I understood the autistic kids better than the other volunteers could; probably because we share certain ways of looking into the world. With some of the kids there was even a click they did not have with the other volunteers.

NT kids saw me more as strange, and I had to think more when I approached them. But for the NT volunteers that was easy. The NT kids could be more annoying and more loud than AS kids.

I think parents are often afraid, because they cannot see into the future.

(In autumn vacation I am going to volunteer again, I am really looking forward to it!)

Last edited by Asterisp on 10 Oct 2008, 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[quote="anna-banana"]I usually can't stand kids, they make no sense to me. they are like little drunken (and high) adults, out of control, I don't understand them at all and they make me feel very alert and uneasy.

You know,
I am sure you made other people alert and uneasy too. So just grow up and get over yourself.

oh yeah, the usual meaningless comment adding nothing to the discussion. if you don't understand the points I'm trying to make here- don't bother replying.

I hear you!

When I was a kid I couldn't stand other kids, they were all running and screaming with no logical purpose in life.

One time I told some of them to be quiet ( they were in my backyard) but I was reprimended for being rude.

I have had a lot to do with both NT kids and autistic kids - give me the autistic kids any day! Sure, they are extremely challenging, time consuming, and high maintenance - but at least they are not boring .

You really can't generalize like that though, just because most of the NT population is ill-informed on autism spectrum disorders doesn't mean they resort to infanticide. That's a certain brand of sadistic behavior reserved for very few.

But without discussing extreme reactions, a person concerned with a child's autistic behavior is not alarmed because it is threatening, they are alarmed because it is unusual and perceived as potentially detrimental. Which, in fact, it very well may be depending on the severity of the child's autism condition.