What's the Message on your Answering Machine?

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poopylungstuffing
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13 Oct 2008, 10:04 pm

Hello
This is Olivia
I am unavailable by cell phone at this time
please leave a message
and i will get back to you
shortly
goodbye



waltr
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13 Oct 2008, 11:28 pm

Currently it is plain vanilla. I used to have a recording of our siamese cat meowing loudly a few times followed by, "sorry, we can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message with Sam, (the cat) she'll let us know you called."



Fnord
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13 Oct 2008, 11:38 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Beep-Beep-BEEP*

"We're sorry; there is no one available to answer your call. Please leave a message after the beep."

BEEEP!



(* - SIT tones; like the ones used to indicate that the number dialed is no longer in service. This defeats the autodialers used by telemarketers. The sequence is: 913.8 Hz for 276 ms, 1370.6 Hz for 276 ms, and 1776.7 Hz for 380 ms.)

I like that idea - do you happen to know if that works in the UK?

I don't know. Check with your telephone system's technical staff.


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Belfast
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14 Oct 2008, 9:55 pm

"This is (phone #). You have 45 seconds to leave a message."

Had to say that part about the time because people were always getting cut off mid-sentence, as the machine isn't adjustable (for amount of time it will record, both my outgoing & others' incoming messages).

In college I had "upscale" phone/answering machine that allowed for expressing oneself at length. Created a few quirky greetings with obscure references/quotations and/or background music.


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NeantHumain
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14 Oct 2008, 10:13 pm

It's something like, "This is NeantHumain's cell phone. Please leave a message." I don't call myself, so I don't hear it, and it was literally years ago that I recorded it.



Mixtli
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14 Oct 2008, 10:23 pm

DeaconBlues: you missed my 7 of 9 poll. I'll assume your answer is a resounding yes.



Mixtli
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14 Oct 2008, 10:28 pm

A few years ago when I was single with a roommate I had a message in the style of a monty python "female" (man doing old fuddy dutty lady). That didn't go over too well with the roommate so I had to remove it.



Now I just say my name an "please leave a message"



Last edited by Mixtli on 16 Oct 2008, 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Keith
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15 Oct 2008, 7:35 am

:lol: Makes me remember a couple me and my friends did a while ago.

Hello? Oh, hi, how are you? ... yeah... yeah ... uh huh. right, yep. Um, you might want to leave a message afte the beep though.

My dad never liked it and always fell for it



MeTaLiNmYvEiNs
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15 Oct 2008, 9:14 am

THAT'S ALOTTA NUTS!! !! !
:D



MadAme
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15 Oct 2008, 9:29 am

My husband insisted on recording the message because he said I sounded too much like a robot. :(



grinningcat
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15 Oct 2008, 9:29 am

DeaconBlues wrote:

Cell phone: "This is Telephone 2 of 3, tertiary adjunct to Unimatrix 010. We are currently unavailable for communication. Your desire to communicate is irrelevant. At the sound of the tone, you will leave a short message. Your vocal and linguistic distinctiveness will be assimilated into the Collective. Resistance is futile." BEEP


At one time I had the following message on my machine "You have reached Starfleet headquarters. Currently all of our starships are on missions, but if you would like to leave your name, number, planet of origin and how many Klingons are attacking you, we would be pleased to send a ship out as soon as we can. Thank you for choosing Starfleet!".

Mostly I just wanted to see if people really listened to messages at all, or ignored them as they prepared to say their important piece of information. Most people did ignore my message, but one young fellow had to leave the following "I have obviously gotten the wrong number. However, I have to say, that is the coolest message I have every heard!" :lol:

Another I have used is "Hello caller, you are on the air!". I don't get many messages for some reason when I put that on my machine ... ;) :lol:


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archdude
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15 Oct 2008, 2:28 pm

I currently have an automated message. Until about 8 years ago, though, I had a recording of myself singing a parody of Frank Sinatra's "My Way." Around Xmas I alternated this with an imitation of Jacob Marley's ghost calling the caller "Ebeneeeezer Scroooooge!" and warning him/her not to neglect to leave a message. Some people liked those, but others passionately hated them. My parents acted as if creating silly messages was a crime.



waltr
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15 Oct 2008, 8:40 pm

My message on my work voice mail is "if you really want to get in touch with me, please send me an email", followed by my work email address.



riverotter
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15 Oct 2008, 10:14 pm

Keith wrote:
:lol: Makes me remember a couple me and my friends did a while ago.

Hello? Oh, hi, how are you? ... yeah... yeah ... uh huh. right, yep. Um, you might want to leave a message afte the beep though.

My dad never liked it and always fell for it

These make me angry! I fall for it too!
My OGM used to have my name on it; then I got even more paranoid. Now I just have "Please leave a message." People who know me know my voice, as it is pretty nasal and distinctive.



k_semler
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16 Oct 2008, 2:32 am

"You have reached <me> at <telephone number>. Please leave a message after the tone."



LostInEmulation
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16 Oct 2008, 3:06 am

When I still had a cell phone: Hi, you again? Leave a message or try not to reach me when I switched the thing off!


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