Emotional Numbness

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Does this happen to anyone? Earlier today I had an accident at my desk (I spilled soda on the lap top, seems to be working just fine tho, because I am using it just fine) and my gf got really irate, because I did not "do what I could have done" to prevent it (IE, use a cup with a lid). Well I get caught up on things and do not always think of the "other steps" and I do have serious coordination issues, that worsened when I had my stroke, and of course her attitude made me feel really horrid inside, like I was a little more worthless this evening than I was this morning.

But this did not last like, more than Id say 3 minutes? Now I feel absolutely nothing is like I got shocked with emotion and now I have none of them. No enthusiasm, no anger, no . . well anything really. I am not upset, and I am being really bland, generally, just to do the correct thing to do and speak when spoken to, but my inflection is failing the nt test, I am sure. And now my gf thinks im being a b***h. What gives?

To be honest I do not understand her standpoint, nor mine.

I experience similar responses. I thought it was a shut down but the psychologist thought it was a dissociative defense mechanism.

I can understand your gf's wanting to prevent problems by planning ahead but nobody's perfect. I spend a lot of energy planning ahead to prevent problems but if I am stressed or overly confident, it can all fall apart and there is disaster.

Well the worse did happen. I broke my Gf's laptop -_- yay me that sure will score me a great deal of points. I have a $300 3DS xl with some games, gave them to her to make up for the 4500 paperweight she owns now. I just hope we do not end up with this large long talk. That's the part I hate. The part that makes my skin crawl ... Conversation.

I think it either comes over time and or because some of us never learn it well enough. Was same when I was a kid if I got hurt I wouldn cry because its pointless and gets people.attention which is proobably the last thing I want.

But yeah its kinda sad my mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer and I'm not sure why I.don't feel anything. It's like something is broken. It's pretty bad and I don't want her to die and will do anything to help. But I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. Even basic hugs are painfully hard.

Good or bad feelings I don't usually feel in the moment. It usually takes me some time to process before I actually feel the emotion and react in a more NT appropriate way.
My brother died in a car accident and my emotions were delayed throughout that experience. I'm sure that people thought it was odd I didn't cry or anything at his funeral but I did later.
When I feel loving toward a person it's usually when I think about them later and not when I'm actually with them.
It's almost like my mind is too busy taking everything in to process the implications or emotions until I have some downtime later.

I can't speak for your emotional blunted response of immediately after it happened, but you've obviosly since turned this incident, and your emotional reaction to it, into a 'thing'. You're obsessing over it and now you're replaying it in your mind. I would say it's a fairly normal response to freak out over something that's somewhat traumatic that you keep thinking about over and over.
s**t happens. If you're clumsy you should really be using a spillproof mug.

I have d that catastrophising is actually rather common for individuals with AS. Although Knowing this in theory does not exactly mean can use it in a rational application. I have always had issues understanding or juggling emotions and when these responses are directed at me usually my first response is to completely stop being emotionally reciprocal for a while. And this is not an optional response, which is thus vexing for me. If I understand the theoretical reasons behind something I like to be able, in turn, to utilize it in an applicable manner but when it comes to emotional responses and objectivity, I am always left with the inability to do such.