Driving Dilemma

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When it comes to Aspergers I have been described by myself and the psychologist who diagnosed me as higher functioning for even someone with Aspergers which is already generally considered higher functioning as I can cope well enough in most situations and hold a job(so far) and all that.

However there is one shortcoming and that is driving. I am now 20 and I still cant drive. I got my licence at 19(by a miracle). I have had significant gaps in between my driving practices over the years and I know that dosent help but I think that may be due to the fact people continue to have little faith in my abilities and the fact that it stresses me out so much I honestly never want to do it. I appear to learn very slowly if at all. I cant seem to retain the information I learn for very long(even knowing how to start the car and such). I know the importance of driving, and it certainly would make it easier to get to my job everyday, but I am having serious doubts as of late.

I cant ever remember my left from my right for too long. This has lead me to confuse the brakes with the gas on several occasion( one that sent me over the curb and into a bush). I am constantly stressed out when I drive, I have a constant heavy headache bearing down on me the entire time, and its so difficult for me to multitask looking at the mirrors and such to turn.

I always hold out hope that I can drive but its fading. What do you guys think, and/or what are your experiences?

Hello Chickems,

Identical for the most part.

But it's a pity: I'd love to drive, drive and drive.
It's such a freedom to go wherever you want or like without needing anybody.

Don't you have a person who could be a good trainer for you?
As: a little everyday or a few times a week?

I'm having similar anxieties about driving, and also recently obtained my license. I have no desire to drive though, I am more afraid of hitting and killing a child or someone's pet than injuring myself. I will need to have some type of commute when I get a job though, and the because I live in a rural area the public transportation is limited.

Just today I read an article about people who cycle to work almost exclusively. I have never been much of a cyclist myself. I haven't ridden a bicycle since I was a child, but I am sure I would feel comfortable riding one to work if I happened to have a job within 12 or so miles of my home. The amount of money one would safe, the environmental impact, the exercise, and increased safety would be worth it for many, but for me the repetitive motion of pedaling would make me feel much more calmer, and I could deal with a longer commute. I don't like the feeling of sitting in a car holding my foot with constant pressure on the gas pedal.

Are the cars all automatic trans or do some have manual? The aspie advantage of having an easier time with more complex tasks may work in your favor. As far as accelerator/brake positions, I know someone who drives an automatic with a foot over each pedal.

There is a whole other option; a twist-and-go scooter that uses hand brakes, leaving you to only having to focus on how much throttle to give. That is, if you have no balancing issues

My experience went like this - I took Driver's Ed in high school, did well in the classroom part, but had trouble when it came to the actual "Behind the Wheels" training. (I have some problems with depth-perception and being directionally challenged) I had several driving sessions, after which apparently my instructor talked to my mom, and either said that I wasn't ready to drive at the time, or that I would never be able to drive at all.

And from that point on, nobody seemed to have any interest in helping me learn to drive......they just preferred to complain about having to drive me places where taking the bus or walking wasn't possible. (although admittedly, my mom has eased up on that over the years)

You're gonna just need LOTS of time at it. Like I didn't move out of the parking lot for about a month of driving every other day for an hour. So you just have to really orient yourself with a car in the parking lot for a long long time.

One thing I think that helped me was racing games. Even without the pedals, the actions of braking and accelerating and turning helped in real life driving I think. I know with a wheel in most racing games, people can lap just as well as they do in real life on the same track with the same car. If you get pedals, it could be even better, and more frustrating of a sim. Forza 3 and Forza 4 are super realistic, so realistic I thought the MKII Supra (which I own in real life) was pretty spot on the way it was in the game.

Some of it, too, is just general brain hemisphere type stuff. I have NVLD so I have lots of visual spatial processing issues, and I manage to drive, however I don't like driving on the highway (or really outside of a certain 3-4 mile radius away from home) without some caffeine in me to speed my processing times up. But one thing I did notice was, I could "think" less while driving, after ice skating for a few months, just because ice skating is a really visual spatial intensive activity, but at the same time, there's no pressure/anxiety about it. I was able to hold turns for longer and judge distances better and all that stuff, too. So any kind of physical activity that gets you more aware of your body helps, I think.

Also I like manual trans and older cars better, too, as you feel more directly in control of the car. Like new cars don't have throttle cables, it's drive by wire, so like, I can't judge the accelerator pedal how far I'm pushing it, for example. Basically for me, the more control I have over the car, the better. But new cars, despite being cushy, I can't "feel" what they're doing as well, so it's harder for me to drive as I feel really disconnected. I know it sounds weird and car magazine kinda talk, but yeah, for me, I really like older cars because I feel they give more feedback. Like my mom's new car for example, has electric power steering (so the steering is way too light) a CVT transmission (never feel it shift gears because the gear ratio always changes, so you can't predict how a gear change will affect driving) and the drivebywire, and I don't like it at all.

But, practice in a parking lot, basically forever. About the only way it'll come.

Lastly, driving for me is a weird dichotomy. I really LOVE driving recreationally, and alot of times it burns off steam for me, so to speak, to be able to drive on some country roads, especially at night with no other traffic. It's one of my greatest joys in this world. Then I can have a full blown meltdown trying to get to a new place or driving on the highway. That and I'm more or less a mechanic and cars are a big hobby of mine. I think also, without the anime Initial D, I'd probably not be driving today. I really love Initial D. So this motivated more to drive than like, independence and all that fun stuff did.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcYMDGbT3MM[/youtube] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUEa7ZoLEno

However the thought of driving 1980s Japanese sportscars to defeat your street racing enemies may be less motivating to you.

If driving relaxed me it probably wouldnt be as much as a problem but it dose jus the opposite. Bicycles relax me, I can completely space out and feel wonderful on a bike. Cars rub me in all the wrong ways though.

Practice.

If your not comfortable on a car, try a riding lawn mower or something.

Oh motorcycles are not safe in the place I live. If anything it would be a scooter but thats not so safe either. Bicycles are my best bet, and doable too I just found out. There's a nice route I never realized. Perhaps I can continue to practice driving but to ever do it successfully and independently it will take years of time I dont have for the things that are happening and are going to happen in my life. So while I learn, if I learn that is, I will be biking/bus riding for my main transport.

I don't think I'd be a good driver but I don't even have any opportunity to practice. My mother who I live with doesn't drive either and none of my relatives that do drive would bother to waste their time to teach me or let me practice. I barely even see most of my relatives.