**Superstar Status**

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Do you ever have a few positive interactions that, in turn, seem to pump adrenalin into the part of your brain responsible for socializing? You talk to a few people, no awkwardness, your confindence building, you are now the life of the party, interactions you once thought impossible are now second nature, you cannot stand to be alone for even a second and seek out the company of anyone nearby, your mind begins racing, people seem to be treating you different, with respect and then... you began to lose your balance due to your lack of familiarity in this position, you question your new status as a superstar, was your mind playing tricks on you? did all of that really just happen? did you just make a complete fool of yourself in front of numerous people? Your mind is now racing with doubts and suspicion, why are they all looking at me? Two seconds, why have they all forgotten me, I thought that was how I was supposed to act - like them? How do I approuch htose same people next time?

Huh? Or maybe I'm just having troubles with understanding complex sentences...

Yes, I can get that feeling when I have a few positive interactions and I feel the adrenalin. I don't know if the adrenalin goes into the part of the brain responsible for socialising or where it goes. I just know I feel the adrenalin.

But I wouldn't say it makes me feel like a 'superstar'. Maybe I feel like a superstar with such an injection of social capital compared to my normal level of social capital, but still not a superstar. These momentary or temporary positive interactions would just give me more vibrancy around people, and that's as much as you can ask for.

Then I come back to 'reality' but I wouldn't say that happens overnight. It's a gradual fall-off. I find that my moments ARE just moments and the periods ARE just temporary.

Some periods of increased social vibrancy I've had that come to mind are as follows: an Internet chat room I frequented for the best part of a year where I did seem to be the superstar of the place, but had to stop going for personal reasons; a year or two frequenting my local Sainsbury's (in the middle of the 8 years I have been a regular there) where out of the staff team that was in place at the time, all the staff seemed to have a positive outlook towards me and I got to know many of them; and attending my church at least in the initial stages of doing so - I won't describe what it's like for me now as it would be repetitive of so many other posts I've done on the subject.

A couple of moments of social vibrancy come to mind too. An evening at a nightclub, on a works night out, where I seemed attractive to and seemed to be able to positively interact with almost every female I come across, and one group on particular, and one young lady in particular; and another night out (co-worker's engagement party) which went along basically the same lines.

It's hard to figure out what causes these flashes of vibrancy. I guess it's just a knock on effect from one favourable interaction that starts the ball rolling. But it's not all the time - and not most of the time - that there are causes of these knock on effects. I am at a point right now where I need one of these causes, but there's no doubt they will happen again!

Have u ever seen something like "What the bleep do we know"? All you need is a little success to get you positive and then ur on a roll. Then ur positive streak ends. Understand how it works and u can make it last a little better. Trust me, if you like science or you want to improve your life, it's an awesome movie and it's on Google Video.

There have been times where I have relaxed around friends and started to interact more. Then I'll get excited and say something too loudly and everyone will just kind of look at me and I hear in my head the echo of what I just said and I'll realize I was being annoying and retreat back into my shell.

Anytime I have really positive social interractions, I have a hangover afterwards..meaning I will feel really good while it is happening...but those feeling later succumb to feelings of shame and/or self-doubt that will knock me around alot...but at the time the interactions are happening, I do feel alot of adrenaline.

^ with me it's feelings of elation closely followed by a nagging worry that I've misinterpreted the whole situation, & that I actually came off as shrill & odd.

[quote="protest_the_hero"]"What the bleep do we know"?[/quote]

Suspected pot head gave me this film in uni, discredited it somewhat.

I often wonder to what degree we tend towards perfectionism.

A woman I once knew told me, without warning, that I was a perfectionist. I gently corrected her by saying that, although I agreed, it was not in all things.

In this topic, my suggestion is that experience creates moderation, and that moderation is the desired goal.

Do you expect that you will perfom flawlessly in a social situation the first time? If so, why? Rational analysis of the most cursory variety will tell you that, for everyone, it's largely a trial-and-error thing. We learn. Why psychologically chastise yourself for a social performance that is good AND possibly bad? Why see the performances of others as perfect? Chances are all too good that those others are experiencing the same things, and if not, especially if they are not as self-critical as are you, then they are not benefitting in the way that you can. They will not learn. We do. If those others seem so smooth, so effortless in their social performances, it might be (and probably IS the case,) that they didn't start out that way. My suggestion would be, rather than to focus on the (possibly illusory) deficits of such stuff, to focus instead on the positive aspects. This isn't simply overoptimistic thinking; the thread title says it all. The reality is that it can be done.

Often, we defeat ourselves before the battle has even begun.

"In all things, moderation." --Aristotle, teacher of Alexandros Magnos.

A poster said: "But I wouldn't say it makes me feel like a 'superstar'. Maybe I feel like a superstar with such an injection of social capital compared to my normal level of social capital, but still not a superstar." I used the word 'superstar' as a self deprecating reference to the illusions of granduer that this experience used to cause in me early on... Thank you for your responses.

I always thought this only happened to me. The euphoria at some positive social interactions in a row, then back at square one with all the self-doubt and guilty feelings.

Don't worry so much about what people remember. They may remember very little. People really like it when you listen to them. If you ever feel like you're too far out on a limb, just kick back, ask a few leading questions, and let the other person roll for a while. A surefire crowd pleaser is "so what do you think?". Whoever they are, they will be glad to let you know. This works especially well with married people. Chances are their spouse never asks what "they" think about anything.

i suppose, in 'us' outgoing aspies, this seesaw presentation of ours is exactly what could lead any psychiatrist to assume

- bipolar (manic phase, even bordering psychosis; e.g. superstar ideation)

or, a bit more likely (for the duration of see resp. saws)

- borderline ps (the black-white switching)

also remember, psychiatric consultation is by nature a social event, which, by its very nature would drive us to present this automatically emergent unaspic persona of ours -
i would not be surprised if there were gender differences here, with the typical atypically aspie male possibly tending earlier toward the psychotic-like superstar-ideation (always with irony, always) - is this the philosopher?; and the female presentation tending more toward 'witchiness' in the most positive sense (medicine woman, healer, even philosopher?).

as to usage of the word adrenaline, i would indeed & without mention thereof surmise that it is the fear in presenting oneself so unnaturally socially, that pushes us on, and on, and on ...

no wonder, coming down from the adrenalin trip, we would feel empty

My sisters was into crystal and talking about witchy things so thought i might get myself some crystals.

I come home to my Bf and I acting like they was healing crystal. I didnt really know what you was supposed to do with them so i just put one in his belly button.

Then i put a couple of crystals in a cup of water and I said, "here gargle this' and he nearly choked on one of them.
I was 16. I was only young but didnt bother with crystals after that. I thought they was stupid.