just occured to me that i dont know how to make friends

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I have only just realised that outside of school I have no ides how to make friends, I don't know what I am going to do, I do want to have friends.

how do you meet people and make friends when not in a classroom setting?

You get a job.

It gets very difficult after school.

For the most part, I have gotten to know people in three ways

1) My wife meets people and makes friends with them. They get to know me as a result of that. A small percentage of these people will become friends.

2) I meet people at work. These relationships only sometimes approach friendship. I am sure I have some good friends I met through 17 years on this job, but I am always insecure about the status of our relationships.

3) I (very rarely) meet people through activities like attending professional association meetings or special interest groups (3D modelling or photography, for example) a very, very small number of contacts made this way result in any kind of friendship.

Good luck.

Might I recommend you to the Social Skills and Friendship fourm, where such things are discussed? http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum7.html

This article seems pretty informative: http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife.

I have a bit of a (speculative) formula (that probably has quite a few errors), though I am no socialite.

The main step to making friends is putting yourself in a position where you are interacting with other people-- schools and jobs are amongst the most common examples of this, though sports, volunteer organizations (which I highly recommend, as this can count as the "experience" needed to get a job and adds valuable experiences to one's life), and social hobbies, such as card games and role-playing, also fits this criteria.

Once you are in the position, the next step is to actually interact with said people. In many situations, the very nature of the activity will dictate much of the interaction-- one will typically converse about the task at hand. This, of course, involves paying attention to other people while simultaneously performing the task at hand, which can be difficult for those with attention or executive function deficits. If this is the case, then chose a less busy moment to engage in interaction.

The next step is to expand on and "personalize" this interaction; bring your life and their life into the situation. At work, this may involve a statement such as, "Wow, that was a rather effective method-- how long have you been doing this?" As this will usually be done by at least somebody in the group, shier or more introverted persons can simply respond to the expansion of somebody else; i.e.
Person A: "Wow, that was a rather effective method-- how long have you been doing this?"
Person B: "Well, I've been doing this for 10 years, but I just moved here from California about 3 years ago."
Person C: "I used to live in California."
Person B: "Really? What part?"
Person C: "Los Angeles."
Person A: "You're from LA? What it is like?"
[And so on...]

Next, one must expand the interaction outside of the context; thus, co-workers must converse outside of work, and card-gamers must converse outside of the game shop (I, personally, struggle with this). This usually takes the form of suggesting an activity that the person is likely to engage in anyways, such as eating at a restaurant; this also usually involves getting the contact information of a person, such as their telephone number, email address, or Facebook/Twitter/tumblr/Instagram/whatnot. See this wiki for further tips: http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-for-a-Phone-Number.

After this comes the "keeping in touch" step, where one continues to make conversation with said person outside of the context of the shared activity/occupation and engage in social activities, such as eating, going to the movies, roller-skating, visiting each other's houses, ect, with that person.

After some time, a friendship will form out of constant exposure to this person and spending time with this person...I think.

Some (again, speculative) tips to consider:
1. Be "nice," especially at first. This usually entails refraining from pointing out negative things about a person, at least until a sturdy foundation is developed, and supplying regular compliments; this may also involve performing favors, such as holding the door open for the person or helping with a difficult task. I have been told, however, that being "too" nice can come off as "creepy," as people will begin to wonder if there is an alternative motive behind this. The key, I believe, is moderation; do not perform every single task for a person or sacrifice your own well-being for them, and do not have every interaction with them be a compliment; be a presence, but do not intrude.
2. Be willing to reciprocate at least some of their interests. With this, it is usually easier to befriend people with which many interests are shared, though this not does always have to be the case-- being open to learning new things can make a positive impression on a person. "Wow, he went to the trouble to learn about cars just for me? He must really value me as a person!"
3. Maintaining one's hygiene also helps with this-- people tend to be at least mildly repulsed by somebody that smells or looks "dirty." With this also comes attire-- people tend to be pretty forgiving, but following one's standards of "decency" for dress, such as not wearing shirts that reveal one's cleavage and not wearing clothing with many stains, seems to make this easier.
4. Being "funny" can also make things easier, though somber, serious people do also make and keep friendships. I have read that it is advised that every person know at least three "clean" (non-sexual, non-racist, non-"Yo Mama"/"blonde"/"fat"/"m***et") jokes.

There is also the internet; I have made several friends on here through regularly conversing through PMs. Feel free to message me, if you wish to do so.

Best of luck in this endeavor!

I've had many creative endeavors that have led to meeting many people. Also, at one time I was a bit of a looker (can't say that anymore at my age, ha!) so people would gravitate toward me which made it very easy to meet people, as they would approach me since I would rarely approach anyone else. I would meet people at poetry readings, when I played music in the orchestra, and had people who would constantly introduce me to other people, because they somehow found me "interesting". Many people had an agenda, like they wanted to get in my pants, but I was often not interested unless they really intrigued me somehow. I have met people at work, and through other people I have dated. Now that I'm a mom I get to know other parents with the primary purpose to set up playdates for my kids or obtain information as necessary, or get advice. I still remain surprised when I invite people over and they don't really want to come over. I don't understand why, after all these years when I never used to invite anyone over ever, why they wouldn't want to accept my generous hospitality now that it exists LOL

I think it is different for men and women in this culture--and very different for beautiful people like yourself, Mikassyna.

There are many men who could go to a poetry reading or concert and not be approached in the way that you describe. Convention seems to require that men be more obviously outgoing and put themselves forward more deliberately. There are a few gay archetypes that fall on the other side of this, but the men personifying those archetypes are already more intrinsically outgoing as part of a style of self presentation.

I haven't made any real friends since high school. I've lost contact with the ones I had and none of them live nearby anyway. I often worry that I'll never have friends again... T_T

I do find this to be true. If I were to wake up in a male body I believe I would find socializing a terrible burden and one that I would have an awful time with, given that I have no sense of bravado nor confidence that is somewhat imperative in the dating scene, and would not know how to discern the extremely convoluted and confusing machinations of the female gender. Even in a professional arena, I just would be terrible at playing politics. When I was in my 20's I would listen to girls complain of their problems with guys and I never understood the games they were playing. However, I'm sure there weren't many guys who could penetrate what the hell was going on inside my own head, so I guess I was no different in other respects. I can't even begin to wonder how the heck I'm going to be able to impart any advice to my two sons about how to deal with the opposite gender, assuming that's the direction their sails will point! It's a good thing that so far they seem to be good looking boys, and hopefully if that continues they may have at least one asset that can give them a fighting chance, at least initially(!)

Handsome never hurt!

Also, they will get a completely different take on things from their dad and will benefit from both of your perspectives--but no matter how hard we try to prepare them, there are roads in life each person must walk alone.

The friends I have now I have made through the different sports I do. One of our really good friends and his wife I met because he was a chairlift operator at the ski resort we go to. It's a tiny mountain with only 5 lifts so you see the lift operators all the time and get to know them if you go as often as I do. And they are really friendly and say hi and that makes it easier to become friends. Plus there is the common interest of skiing and snowboarding. Another couple that became really good friends of ours we met with our kayaking group. If you have an interest or a sport that you like it's easier to make friends if you join a group that does that because you see the same people regularly just like you would in class and you are doing the same activity that you have a mutual interest in. And that is very helpful because it gives you something to talk about and enjoy together. And you can start friendships that way and they can grow from there. I also let people know pretty early on in the friendship that I am Aspie and that I have some needs and that I do some things or understand things differently at times and that really helps too because if I do or say something odd they understand and it does not bother them. And many people have loved ones on the Spectrum so they are ok with it.

When you meet people, try to learn about them. Ask them questions. Find out what they are interested in. If they have common interests with you, then you could talk for a while. You could invite them to do things together.

By the way, be careful when you invite someone of your preferred gender (or if you are of their preferred gender) that you are trying to make friends with. Invite more than one person, so they know it is not a date. Especially if said person is already going out with somebody else. You do NOT want to be perceived as trying to steal somebody else's partner.

That sounds like a very complicated issue-- I rarely make friends who don't know my wife, but I always at some early point mention that my wife has been my best friend for more than 30 years and I am utterly loyal and monogamous. I think this more or less precludes concerns of that kind--but this brings to mind the passage from Goncharov's Oblomov in which he thinks "There can be no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman." I always thought this was very stupid and wrong, but an attitude to be aware of.

what does it mean to be friends anyway?

i think it means different things to different people. If you go to University you will hopefully make some good friends that will last you a while.

I still don't know. Like, on Saturday there will be people in my house that I have met through work couple of years ago and been out for drinks with several times. I have discussed very personal stuff with them and they with me. Honestly - I am not sure I can think of them as friends although I probably ought to but these things are confusing to me. I am sure that if I could be relied upon to socialise regularly then we could all call eachother friends but I manage to make it to a social gathering about once a month if that..this thing in our head...it's a b***h at times

I agree. It is stupid and wrong but unfortunately many people are not aware of how stupid and wrong it is because they are so caught up in their hormones.

I fail to see a problem here.

I have actually been more able to make friends since I left school. When I was a teenager, I was the loneliest I had ever been in my whole life. The other kids began to stick to their own cliques or groups once they reached around age 13-14, and so it was harder to start over with making new friends, unless you're a new student. Even then that can be hard for any teenager. I was so miserable because I wanted to be like a normal teenager and have sleepovers, or ''slumber parties'', and hang out in a crowd in the park or in the town in evenings, and have friends to walk to school with, etc.

But when I went to college after I finished school (I was 17 by then), I made some friends. I wasn't there long enough to get attached to too many people, but I did manage to become friendly with a small group of people and I met them up on Saturdays and to just hang out, which is what I wanted. But I wasn't friends with them for long because they got friendly with these drug-takers and began to make me feel like I wasn't part of their group any more because I didn't want to take drugs. But don't worry, I did some volunteering while I was on unemployment benefit, and I made friends there. They may be a bit older than me, but at least they are mature and like me for who I am, and I'm still in touch with them today. Now I have a job and I've met some people there, I've even been asked out by a young man there. Also it's gained me some more social skills. And I'm still in touch with one friend who I met at college, who I believe is an Aspie, and we meet up sometimes and go shopping together. Also I've met people on the bus too.

And no, I am not an extrovert. I am shy, socially awkward, introverted, and I have social anxiety. I know I might not have as many friends as my peers, but I still have met different people immediately after leaving school, and I find it is easier to make friends when you've left school than when you're at school. So, I know this may sound a bit depressing, but making friends when you're still at school is hard, but I promise when you leave school and go on to college, university, volunteering or work, you will meet people along the way. Your social characteristics will change slightly too - like most teenagers do when they leave school and enter the adult world.