Packaged Friends

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Having an interesting conversation with my youngest brother, 14. He seems to be doing much better now that he realized I was there for him. He's still cranky and is still having trouble with the divorce. He has trouble at school as well. Simply his speech repetition, when he does talk. This isn't about a problem or anything. I just found him very cute when he asked me,

"Why don't they sell packaged friends at the store?"

I had to think for a moment about what he meant.

"Explain?"

"Sometimes....there are people who don't have friends....because they are different, so shouldn't they sell packaged friends for those who are different?"

He asked me this question twice because he likes to repeat himself for who knows what reason.

"That's an interesting idea, you should tell it to the markets,"

Anyhoo, I wanted to share the conversation because I thought it was funny and kind of cute. And then I decided why not come onto Wrongplanet and ask them what they think.

Do you guys think if they made packaged friends, that you would have been able to survive better socially?

No, because any true friend has to have a mind of his own, and that would make him indistinguishable from other kids, and no more likely to be a friend than they were.

What helped me most of all was learning not to care what others thought of me, and having a few trustworthy adults around (namely my grandparents) who treated me with love and respect, showing me by their actions that I am worth just as much as any other human being.

To answer your question, no.

Also, your brother might have palilalia.

Judging by the fact that he is high functioning autistic, this is most likely the case.

I would agree that he misunderstands the concept of a friend.

A friend is not someone who fulfills his need to have friends. A friend is someone who fulfills his need to have a friend, and who's need he also fulfills.

That's cute and sad at the same time.

Most likely true.



Yeah I know.

Well, to some extent you can get packaged friends.......there's online dating, or you could join a community or commune that has a particular interest in caring and sharing. I've done both, and it certainly got me a bunch of people and one or two sexual partners, without the usual palarva.

I was slightly wary of both these methods of getting "instant friends," though I wasn't sure why I was wary at first. With the community thing, I think the instant nature of the deal gave us the problem that we didn't know each other much at all, and once we were living together, it was harder to fix the problems, because we were already quite involved by then. It's asking for trouble to make friends with your eyes shut.......that palarva stage is actually quite important because it gives people the chance to bow out gracefully if they see anything they don't think they could cope with.

Online dating was also a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it was great to be free of the need to put my neck on the block and chase a potential partner who might not really be interested, but in sidestepping that traditional male penance, I noticed a couple of problems I'd never had before. Firstly, there was the same premature commitment as there was with the commune thing. Secondly, most of the women I got in touch with would be OK at first, but then they'd suddenly ignore me for a while, only to later re-bond and start a relationship with me. I never got a satisfactory explanation for this, so I developed this theory that they must have been trying to reclaim the "neck on the block" stage of the relationship - robbed of that step, they couldn't believe I had the interest and strength to make it work in the long term, so they had to put it to the test in another way. But I didn't have that theory at the time (and still don't really know if it's correct), so I'd just feel very let down.

Frankly, these days I'd be more incilned to just do it the usual hard way and find people in real life. It's less convenient in the early stage, but at least the nasty part is over pretty quickly, and there are fewer shocks in store.

The kid sounds like a visionary..... in Japan you get packaged pets as well as friends... and you can hire a fake relative too

from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/f ... 818140.stm

Rent-a-friend in Japan

In Japan, now back in recession, the economic situation has taken a sharp turn for the worse in recent months. But the Japanese still like to use their money to have fun, as Duncan Bartlett has been finding out.


Japan's cat cafes lay on luxury accommodation for their felines

In pictures
Lola - or Rora - to give her a slightly more Japanese pronunciation - is a beauty and she knows it.

Customers pay by the hour for her company. Usually they just want to stroke her, but as a special treat for favoured clients, she will lie back in a chair, close her eyes and pose for photographs.

Lola is a Persian cat who works at the Ja La La Cafe in Tokyo's bustling Akihabara district. It is one of a growing number of Cat Cafes in the city which provide visitors with short but intimate encounters with professional pets.

When I called, there were 12 felines and seven customers, mostly single men.

One man, in his early 30s, was attempting to bond with an Oriental Longhair by means of a rubber mouse.

Yutsuke, who speaks with a lisp, is normally rather shy with people. He longs for a cat of his own but frequent business trips make that difficult. Besides, he lives alone, so the Ja La La is his solution to the problem.

The right pet

It costs about £8 ($10) an hour to spend time in a Cat Cafe.

Tsu-chan, a rental dog out for a walk in Tokyo (Photo: Alfie Goodrich)
Busy lives mean some people prefer to hire a dog
If felines do not appeal, other establishments will rent you a rabbit, a ferret or even a beetle.

There are more than 150 companies in Tokyo which are licensed to hire out animals of various kinds and although beetles may be cheap, dogs are much more popular.

First you pay a deposit and a hire fee. Then you are issued with a leash, some tissues and a plastic bag and given some advice on how to handle your new friend.

Kaori is a pretty waitress who regularly spends her Sunday afternoons with a Labrador. They go for a walk in the park if the weather is fine, or if it is wet they just snuggle up in front of the TV in her apartment.

"When I look into his eyes, I think he's my dog," Kaori told me. "But when I take him back to the shop, he runs away from me and starts wagging his tail when he sees the next customer. That's when I know he's only a rental dog."

Every need considered

Of course, it is not only animals whose loyalties can be decided by money, as people who work in Japan's vast entertainment business will testify.

A man helps a child with her homework (Photo: Alfie Goodrich)
Some single women hire men to help with their children's homework
The industry offers an enormous variety of opportunities to exchange money for company.

Very popular at the moment is the Campus Cafe, where men go to socialise with female university students. It is cheaper than the upscale hostess clubs in which businessmen and politicians drink whisky with women in kimonos, although that is a business which is in crisis because of the recession.

Only a small proportion of the trade involves sex. Most hostesses are flatterers not prostitutes and customers come to find comfort in their words, not in their arms.

One specialist agency is known as Hagemashi Tai, which translates as I Want To Cheer Up Limited. It rents relatives.

Actors are despatched to play the part of distant relations at weddings and funerals. For an extra fee, they will even give a speech.

But the firm's services do not stop there. It can also provide temporary husbands to single mothers who want them.

The website says the "dad" will help the children with their homework. He will sort out problems with the neighbours.

He will take the kids to a barbeque or to a park. He could also appear at the daunting interview with a nursery school head teacher which parents are required to endure in order to persuade the principal to give their child a good start in life.

Cry for help

There is a service for women who are about to wed too. Apparently, they can practise for married life with a hired husband, although whether this involves seduction or sock washing is not exactly clear.

Map of Japan showing the capital Tokyo
And if things are not working out with a real husband, a woman considering a divorce may choose to hire a "mother" in order to discuss her marital anxieties.

Mr M O from Shizuoka near Mount Fuji called upon the services of I Want To Cheer Up Ltd because he needed a father.

Mr M O has been blind since birth and had a number of concerns that he felt he could not speak to others about.

"I kept it all inside and couldn't deal with the criticisms that had been directed at me by my parents and teachers," he testified.

After some discussion, the company sent an older man to have dinner with him. "Usually I can't open up when I meet someone for the first time but on that occasion, I felt I was really talking with a normal father. I'll use the service again," he said.

Loneliness is a problem faced by many people on these crowded islands. But the Japanese are prone to believe that, in the right circumstances, money can turn a stranger into a friend... at least for a couple of hours.

Yeah, true friends are RARE! REAL friends would risk anything for you. That means they could never be sold. They DO sell aquaintances, which are often MISTAKEN for friends. THEY are called escorts. But friends, especially REAL ones, couldn't be bought or sold. It is sad because I have thought the same, but HOW could you do it?

Many "friends", like those that get close to rich and famous people, aren't even aquaintances. THEY are what is known as a sycophant!

It's cute what your brother said. Packaged friends would be a great idea. Better yet, how about custom made packaged friends?

NO! But in the far future or nearer future, there will probably be companion androids.
As a child, I really didn't even care that I had no friends because I kept busy doing a million things. I started feeling bad about it ONLY when my aunt said that I SHOULD have friends - I started to think there was something wrong with me. If no one ever said that to me, I'd could have saved a bundle and had not gone to psychotherapy. Two grand spent for some DOOSH to tell me what I already knew. This was years ago but I still like to imagine all the fun I could have had with the dough. Instead...some DOOSH who already had tons of bucsks got to spend it. s**t!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

Last edited by RightGalaxy on 08 Mar 2011, 8:58 am, edited 2 times in total.

Gives new meaning to the phrase "She's a real Barbie ..."

That would work for me. Nonjudgemental, honest, reliable, compassionate, loyal, reasonably intelligent, good music skills....I think I'd want a programmable one so I could tweak the controls as I discovered what I really wanted in a friend.

Stepford Wives?

When I was his age I would have loved the idea of a packaged friend. I'm more content in my loneliness now. Somebody who doesn't judge you? Somebody willing to listen as you talk endlessly about your own interests? Somebody who will leave you alone when you want solitude? What's not to love about that? That is a pretty cute question.