Being thought of as higher functioning than I actually am..
.....and having massive pressure all around me to down a normal job, like an NT.
Well-meaning folk, but they dont understand that there are certain work situations I would just bomb in and end up getting kicked out of, such as any work which requires good social skills.
They think I could do counselling, or babysitting, but I know that I would struggle socially with the people I would meet on these jobs.
Or work which requires me to be efficient, organised and perform well with my hands. Which makes me feel quite wiped out. I am doing this kind of work, part time, and it makes me feel very mentally tired, but various people I know feel that one day I will be ready for full time work of this nature, or the above social based work.
They tell me that I am unconfident and if I had more confidence I would be able to handle a full time job in the above fields.
Does anyone else deal with this? If so, how is it for you?
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
I have some serious mental blocks in particular things. Other things I'm a wizz in, most academics. But those blocked things can interfere with the things I'm good at when they get too stressful.
No one with normal brain functioning will be able to really comprehend how it is to have something fishy wrong in brain functioning. And they think because you said something yesterday that they thought was brilliant, then you wouldn't be having trouble taking showers or knowing when you have to pee or just reading in general.
For example, right now, half my life is being driven into hell while another half is passing for successful, and the successful looking part is the only part anyone else seems to see, as a number of my requests for accomodations or aids are just denied, accompanied with some compliment like, "...but you're really kind of brilliant, and I know you'll be well recognized in the future!" And i just think to myself...if I survive the night.
Gruntre
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 8 Oct 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 64
Location: Melbourne, Australia.
I've worked as a social worker and as a gardener (sort of similar to the types of work you describe) but it really was other people who made it impossible for me to stay in these areas. I have confidence- heaps of it- which makes me different from a lot of Aspies- but the thing is when you are Aspie and confident, NT's have the same issues with you (lack of tolerance & bullying due to lack of social skills), they just call you arrogant instead of whatever they call you when you don't have confidence. :-/
The difference with confidence is that when you get bullied you get angry and you serve it straight back x2. I tried to be diplomatic and do the socially appropriate thing a lot of the time but it only goes so far and eventually they'll push the right button and then you have the meltdown and eventually this gets you fired. And a lot of workplaces perpetuate bullying ie I was told it was my fault I was being bullied because I didn't "fit in". So sorry but confidence isn't ACTUALLY the solution.
Confidence may help you achieve what you want in terms of self employment tho. That's what I ended up doing (I'm a freelance AutoCAD designer). Have you thought about typical Aspie employment in computers or similar? You might not find it taxing because it's a lot more suited, neurologically speaking. Just a thought...
You can't expect NTs to have any idea of what is hard/easy for you--how would they know?
But, like most of us, you probably have difficulty with anything involving social interaction.
It also sounds like you have motor coordination issues--so doing stuff with your hands can be an issue.
Do you have a special interest that might translate into a job somehow?
When I worked at the machine shop the other employees could not figure out why I did not go to college. They could also not figure out how I could have a hard time doing some of the easiest jobs in the shop while doing some of the more complex jobs with ease. I am very well spoken and talk about science fiction, history, and computers things that people assume intelligent people would talk about. I never talked about sports, hunting, or sitcoms so they assumed I am too smart to deal with such low brow materials. I guess I come off more intelligent than I actually am.
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There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die -Hunter S. Thompson
Yes, I think many NTs haven't thought about it much, and have this all-or-nothing idea about disability--either you're absolutely, obviously, and severely disabled or you're not disabled at all. There's this continuum that they're missing because they've never really needed to know it was there. So they put you in the "not disabled" box because you don't fit the stereotype of the other one.
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
The difference with confidence is that when you get bullied you get angry and you serve it straight back x2. I tried to be diplomatic and do the socially appropriate thing a lot of the time but it only goes so far and eventually they'll push the right button and then you have the meltdown and eventually this gets you fired. And a lot of workplaces perpetuate bullying ie I was told it was my fault I was being bullied because I didn't "fit in". So sorry but confidence isn't ACTUALLY the solution.
Confidence may help you achieve what you want in terms of self employment tho. That's what I ended up doing (I'm a freelance AutoCAD designer). Have you thought about typical Aspie employment in computers or similar? You might not find it taxing because it's a lot more suited, neurologically speaking. Just a thought...
I know what you mean. I wouldnt say I was entirely unconfident like they think, but I am just aware of what I am absolutely crap at, and what I dont want to do, whereas people think that I "can do anything if I try".
As for computers, I dont have a mathematical mind unfortunately. But I wish I did sometimes...
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
But, like most of us, you probably have difficulty with anything involving social interaction.
It also sounds like you have motor coordination issues--so doing stuff with your hands can be an issue.
Do you have a special interest that might translate into a job somehow?
I guess you are right, I shouldnt expect them to understand. The problem is though that because I am not earning a full time income, I dont have the autonomy I long for, so I end up relying on people financially, then I feel that I cant do what I want to do and should listen to them.
Yes I do have some interests that I would like to turn into work. I would like to do various types of creative work, ie art, writing, photography. I am under no illusions though, it looks like quite a competitive thing to do, a lot of people are also trying to make it as these things. But I cant do a "safe" job.
I hope your existence gets less lonely! Perhaps you need to meet some unusual/quirky people, or other aspies.
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
Yes, I am very slow with tasking but very fast with anything which involves words. I can literally talk all day, and get a lot of writing done...
I think that it is very important for aspies to gravitate towards the things that we are good at as otherwise it can cause a lot of problems. But I know it is easier to say that than to find this sort of good situation...
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
I find people cant put me in the "disabled" box, and cant find any other box, so put me in the "mentally ill" box.
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.