Anxiety

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Hi everyone. I suffer from anxiety and have IBS which is made worse when I am anxious. My anxieties are usually based around my routines being broken or when I am unsure or not in control of what is going to happen in a certain situation. I haven't been officially diagnosed with AS, but believe I have it as do the people I have confided in.

Really I wanted to ask if anyone has advice on how to deal with severe anxiety. I am doing my brown belt grading next Saturday for kickboxing and jujitsu and this is causing me hell. I feel constantly sick and have a racing heart, all food I eat is going straight through me and I'm crying loads. I'm trying to keep myself busy to forget about it, but it's hard, especially as I'm training 4 or 5 days a week.

It's not that I'm worried I won't get my brown belt or that I won't be able to do the moves, because I have faith in my abilities. Everyone I tell that I'm really anxious about it just say 'Oh you'll be fine', but they don't understand it isn't getting my brown belt I'm worried about. I can't picture the day in my head and this is stressing me out. Like I don't know what I will be asked to do, I don't know who I will have to work with, I don't know what the room will look like. Also there will be hundreds of people there are it will be really noisy and I won't like that either. At one of my classes last week I had a meltdown because my instructor changed the format of the lesson. I've always done it in the same order and then last week he changed it and I couldn't cope. I forgot everything and just stood there and then when he shouted at me I burst into tears. I'm so worried this will happen at my grading.

I'm taking beta blockers to try and stop my adrenaline going crazy all the time. Also I'm going to start taking immodium before meals to try and stop having to rush to the loo all the time (another worry about my grading day). I just didn't know if there was any other advice people could give. I went and saw my doctor but she basically said I'd just have to deal with it. I know to be a brown belt you need to be adaptable etc. but this is a real weak point of mine. I feel like I'm deliberately putting myself through torture. Maybe I should just give it all up but I've been doing it for 8 years and really love it most of the time; why should I let my issues get in the way of something that is so important to me?!

Thanks, any advice given is much appreciated.

I am AS and have both IBS and the anxiety issues...most are triggered by the very things you describe...the unknown and sensory over loads and I also respond to stress by crying which is very frustrating. I haven't found a cure for the IBS but it has helped me to avoid milk, heat and anything with carbonation or "fake sugars" . After fighting going on anti-depressant for years, I finally excepted that it was the only thing to stop the crying "meltdowns" and I needed to be able to do this for things like job interviews...they don't tend to hire people in tears I have been on a low dose of Effexor for the past 6 years and though it doesn't stop all sensory issues it does appear to inhibit that annoying fluid leakage from my orbital lobes(I hate to call it "crying", because it wasn't like I was actually sad or anything, just stressed out or over stimulated) .

I wish you luck with the test but don't "beat yourself up", if you decide to delay it....(after all, your almost a brown belt and you could hurt yourself )

Thanks Krex, it really helps hearing that other people suffer similar issues. I have been on anti depressants before, but came off them because I didn't like the side effects. I'm on a waiting list to have CBT, but as always there is a bit of a wait. I'm sure this will help in the long run, but I just know the next week will be so difficult. Also I'm not depressed so would feel strange going on anti depressants. I'm generally very happy and enjoy life, it's just the anxiety that gets to me.

I know I could delay my grading, which I am considering, but I've already had several weeks of intense worry and so feel I should battle on for just one more week.

I should have been more specific..I'm actually not depressed either, (though I was until I stopped forcing myself to socialize and trying to be someone that I'm not ) . I take it purely to stop "crying melt downs" and it is also perscribed for anxiety and not just depression. I tried a few other anti-depressants tricylces and Zoloft and had really bad side effects but this one does not seem to bad...I do think it may have some effect on my memory but it's hard to tell because I've always had some problem with that . I wouldn't say it's SOMA, I take the lowest dose...75mg and still have anxiety, but it takes the edge off and allows me to function without the meltdowns. I know there are many stronger anti-anxiety medications but most of them are addictive requiring increasing doses and I don't want to feel "sedated" or have any cloudier thinking then I already do .

Why not try to get a better picture. Talk to someone who was in the class the year before you or browse YouTube and see if you can find similar ceremonies.

Ask the teacher for a rundown of what happens and in what order. There is probably someone printing a paper for the people who are going to be in the audience. See if you can find this person, the paper should have an order of events on it. See if you can get a copy of last years program somehow if finding this years doesn't work.

As for the spectators, well, that can be intimidating for anyone. Accept that it will be intimidating and try to concentrate in your moves. Your moves should be familiar to you and that should help.

I'm sure you will do wonderful, just remember that the ceremony is for you, all the people in the audience will be rooting for you to do well and are "on your side".

Thanks detren, that really helped. I will speak to my instructor tonight and see if I can get any info on the format of it. I know everyone wants me to do well and that does help.

First of all, I'll say that I worry all the time and in the end it turns out okay. I'm sure the same will happen to you.
Second, write down your thoughts like you did on paper, when someone just says "you'll be fine" or simply misunderstands, show them that.
Also, tell people that you have anxieties, that way you can get more help.
Lastly, perhaps try to put your mind on something else and/or use calming down methods.
Hope this helps!

I think this is the heart of the issue. Don't give up. It seems like it is "too hard," but getting your brown belt would be really cool. Do what you have to do to give it your very best shot.