*NPD: A Life Support System for AS*

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I wonder whether Narcissistic Personality Disorder might be a "survival structure" which some AS develop, ( unconsciously of course, in early childhood ) to cope with the difficulties created by being AS/on the spectrum.

I am pretty sure that if I had ever gone to a psychologist in my early to mid twenties I would have received the diagnosis of NPD. But I was at that time too pleased with myself, and oblivious of/indifferent to the less agreeable effects that I often had on other people, to have done so.

I think that my breakdown, with manic-depression, in my late twenties, was the process of exploding that NPD carapace which I had created for myself. I emerged from more than 3 years of serious disturbance a new, strangely hesitant, slower, awkward creature. For the first time in over 25 years, perhaps, I felt compassion for my own and other's pain, I had discovered my AS, but I didn't know what it was. For many years I thought it was a kind of depression.

NPD had allowed me not to care that I couldn't make people out; it had allowed me to function smoothly if thoughtlessly, inconsiderately, selfishly, single-mindedly, lightly, adventurously, like a butterfly, because I wasn't weighed down by trying to take other people into account, except as things to be navigated around, or pawns to be used, ( as entertainment, status symbols, company, support, etc ).

In my teens it had made me a dreamy/daydreaming, self-absorbed, short-term thinker and doer, if still fairly quiet and serious, but alcohol, ( from age 18 ), gave me wings and I experienced several years of wild social life, before the strain of maintaining the illusion, ( especially in close/intimate relationships ), became too much for me.

Alice Miller's book "The Drama of Being a Child" about how narcissistic personality disorder evolves, was originally called "The Drama of the Gifted Child", because her analysis concerns itself almost exclusively with the very sensitive and intelligent child, ... whose sensitivity is overwhelmed by the routine cruelty and ignorance and abuse and hypocrisy of those around them, and who take refuge in the protection of a "narcissistic self".

So I was wondering whether anyone else here has experienced something similar.

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Hmm, I don't know enough about either conditions, let alone any possible reactions to have much input, but I have in the past displayed traits of NPD (not full on). Now I'm more of a misanthropist than anything- including towards myself.

But T.Attwoods's complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome describes possible reactions to the implications of Aspergers syndrome. Apparently some individuals may 'externalize the cause and solution to feeling different'. In response to feeling different, rather than blaming the self an individual may develop an arrogance or denial that there is any problem- the fault lies in others.

Attwood likes to call this 'God mode'. 0_0 He uses descriptions from Asperger as well as his own experience to support this:

"There is a great danger of getting involved in endless arguments with these children, be it in order to prove that they are wrong or to bring them towards some insight."- Asperger

I suppose the above could relate to a poor theory of mind also though?

I am really interested to hear you mention Alice Miller's work and PD's.....................I think for people on the higher end of the spectrum and dx much later in life, it would be a rather fantastic feat to pull of life void of any defense, or over attachment to either an ego ideal or persona.

Wishing you well.

PS I have just written a book, called A Painful Gift- (a journey of a soul with autism) which explores at great depth the inner-landscape of autism, within a neurological and psychological context, exploring Alice Miller's work and how she helped me move beyond the mere intellectualization of my feelings, and into the world of feelings, and thus learning the meaning of emotional and cognitive empathy.

I'm going to have to think about this and get back. This is interesting... AS with NPD.

I don't think it's particularly common. I mean, it's one way of coping with AS; but most of us--I think--cope in other, less personality-changing, ways. Me, I just got fascinated with science and decided to ignore the annoying people around me...

I bought The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome that was mentioned here off of Amazon today, I will reply to this post after I take a look at what they say about defense systems Aspies come up with, in order to cope in an NT world.

If you check out the life's of Donna Williams and Caiseal Mor (see links below) you will see how incredibly ingenious many of us are on the spectrum in the art of defense and concealment.



Caiseal Mor http://www.mahjee.com/

Donna Williams http://www.donnawilliams.net/front.0.html



For those of us in the spectrum who have come from emotionally deprived backgrounds, survival was by far a priority over the relative luxury of autistic expression.............hence the very real need for defense in order to protect ourselves from severe abuse and even death.

In my book, I go very deep into this fractured landscape and explore how I am finding my way out of the closet and into the world, for as much as psychology and therapy has given me tools to FEEL my feelings and greet the world on the worlds terms, only the understanding of myself as a man with autism has offered a real bridge from MY world to the THE world....................and as a result entered deeply into that lovely quote from Kahlil Gibran, "Your Joy is your sorrow unmasked"

Yes, just yes

I didn't really interpret it as such. I don't think Attwood is saying that all aspies are arrogant or that pride is the same as arrogance. Many NTs do have that sort of reaction to certain circumstances. He doesn't say anything about it being exclusive to Aspergers or that all people with Aspergers do react in such a way.

Take a look at the link to a preview of text. Either you misunderstood or I am missing something. xD

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ZwQG ... &ct=result