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raggle-taggle-gypsy
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18 Dec 2008, 9:15 am

Hello

It can be hard to me to sift through the galaxy of information on the internet, so I'd prefer to aqsa few questions here.

I'm new. twenty two and an aspie like you.

I think anyway. I'm looking into having an asessment, but I'll be pretty relieved to know if that's what's causing my problems. Wrong planet seems like the perfect phrase to sum up my life thus far.

Any advice here on where to go from here?

I went to a doctor to talk about depression a few years ago and that was a terrible experience. I'm curious about how this time, a doctor can make an accurate diagnosis based on data I communicate orally when I have cognitive and communicative issues. It doesn't seem very scientific and to the untrained eye (and even to myself for a long time,) I proabbly appear like just a normal person who wasn't slapped enough as a kid.

After a diagnosis, what happens? I'd like to work on some of the more negative aspects of it. I want to train myself to think better, sometimes I'm in terrible disarray with my thoughts. I get very stressed when it comes to deadlines or impending choices or prioritisation and it's getting very disruptive in my life.

I got my hands on some ritalin a few years back and it did wonders for my concentration - though not so much for social life. I don't want to self medicate anymore, but I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on what methods work best for sorting out thought patterns - drugs, meditation, etc.

I suppose that's all for now, I'll probably post later in the evening when I'm more coherent. I'm looking forward to taking an active role in this community, it seems liek a great resource to help and be helped.

Thanks



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18 Dec 2008, 9:49 am

Welcome to WrongPlanet.net raggle-taggle-gypsy (oh!) I have found WP to be a great place to work out all my past issues and learn about how to cope with the issues I have now. I hope the same for you.

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b9
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18 Dec 2008, 10:02 am

raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
Hello

It can be hard to me to sift through the galaxy of information on the internet, so I'd prefer to aqsa few questions here.

I'm new. twenty two and an aspie like you.

I think anyway. I'm looking into having an asessment, but I'll be pretty relieved to know if that's what's causing my problems. Wrong planet seems like the perfect phrase to sum up my life thus far.

if you have clinically significant autism, then your parents and siblings will alert doctors when you are only a few months old.
no one "develops" autism in the course of their lives.
it is a thing that is inborn and immutable.
so if you were an autistic baby, then it would have been apparent and you would have come to the attention of professionals at a very early age.

raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
I went to a doctor to talk about depression a few years ago and that was a terrible experience. I'm curious about how this time, a doctor can make an accurate diagnosis based on data I communicate orally when I have cognitive and communicative issues. It doesn't seem very scientific and to the untrained eye

nothings seems scientific to an untrained eye.
raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
(and even to myself for a long time,) I proabbly appear like just a normal person who wasn't slapped enough as a kid.

that does not compute.
raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
After a diagnosis, what happens? I'd like to work on some of the more negative aspects of it.

it is not a problem to be worked on because it is innate and immutable.
negativity is in the mind of the beholder.


raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
I want to train myself to think better, sometimes I'm in terrible disarray with my thoughts. I get very stressed when it comes to deadlines or impending choices or prioritisation and it's getting very disruptive in my life.

i think it is good to want to think better, but i do not think it is good to abandon unfinished ideas that seem unproductive at an unfinished stage.
a rose bush looks so ugly until the tiny portion of it's life cycle where it flowers.
to notionally jump from lily pad to lily pad as does a frog, is to never find a foundation that is truly solid from which to grow.


raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
I got my hands on some ritalin a few years back and it did wonders for my concentration - though not so much for social life. I don't want to self medicate anymore, but I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on what methods work best for sorting out thought patterns - drugs, meditation, etc.

it depends on how much will power you have.
it also depends on how much you trust the correctness of your perception in the face of disagreement.
if you intelligently have interpreted a workable idea of how the world operates, then no matter how fervently that "average" people disagree with your mental construct, you know you are correct (albeit that you can not adequately find the words to say it to them)

raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:
I suppose that's all for now, I'll probably post later in the evening when I'm more coherent. I'm looking forward to taking an active role in this community, it seems liek a great resource to help and be helped.

Thanks

i did not know you were not coherent.
do you mean you are drunk or on drugs, or do you mean that you are in some sort of naturally occurring mental "episode".?

whatever i am very tired now and i live on the other side of this wrong planet.
i live about 10 hours in front of greenwhich and 14 hours in front of ohio in the united states.
so it is 1:55 am here in australia.
good moonless and wonderfully silent and sleepy night!



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18 Dec 2008, 10:33 am

b9 wrote:
raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:

(and even to myself for a long time,) I proabbly appear like just a normal person who wasn't slapped enough as a kid.

that does not compute.


it sure does for me! I was often told I needed a good whuppin', that that would cure me of 'what ails me!' and that spanking, or smack across the face was given to stop my to them controllable behavior. Avoidance therapy is what it's called by spurious doctors that will use corporal punishment on stims and behaviors they wish to modify. Just count your blessings, b9 if you have never had experience with those that would abuse you in the name of correcting your behavior.

Merle


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18 Dec 2008, 10:59 am

sinsboldly wrote:
b9 wrote:
raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:

(and even to myself for a long time,) I proabbly appear like just a normal person who wasn't slapped enough as a kid.

that does not compute.


it sure does for me! I was often told I needed a good whuppin', that that would cure me of 'what ails me!' and that spanking, or smack across the face was given to stop my to them controllable behavior. Avoidance therapy is what it's called by spurious doctors that will use corporal punishment on stims and behaviors they wish to modify. Just count your blessings, b9 if you have never had experience with those that would abuse you in the name of correcting your behavior.

Merle


I second that emotion. I'm just discovering now all the eccentric things I enjoy, because my parents thought if they could hit me enough, I might just be the child they wanted. For awhile, all I got was a nice case of PTSD and a lifelong prescription for anti-depressants. Now that I've discovered WP and been diagnosed properly, I can finally start being who I really am.



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18 Dec 2008, 10:59 am

i would like to answer your questions later when i have thrown some cold water on my face and taken a bath. i drank too much last nite and my eyes hurt


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18 Dec 2008, 11:02 am

ok i understand a bit more.
i perceived the "slapped" bit as "slapped on the bottom at birth" (to initiate breathing).
i could not understand how a certain number of slaps was significant.



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18 Dec 2008, 11:03 am

neshamaruach wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
b9 wrote:
raggle-taggle-gypsy wrote:

(and even to myself for a long time,) I proabbly appear like just a normal person who wasn't slapped enough as a kid.

that does not compute.


it sure does for me! I was often told I needed a good whuppin', that that would cure me of 'what ails me!' and that spanking, or smack across the face was given to stop my to them controllable behavior. Avoidance therapy is what it's called by spurious doctors that will use corporal punishment on stims and behaviors they wish to modify. Just count your blessings, b9 if you have never had experience with those that would abuse you in the name of correcting your behavior.

Merle


I second that emotion. I'm just discovering now all the eccentric things I enjoy, because my parents thought if they could hit me enough, I might just be the child they wanted. For awhile, all I got was a nice case of PTSD and a lifelong prescription for anti-depressants. Now that I've discovered WP and been diagnosed properly, I can finally start being who I really am.



Amazing, isn't it? At home "discipline" and "Self-Discipline" were the order of the day. Took YEARS to get over all of that.


To the original poster: what happens after a diagnosis? At your age, nothing really. Other than you have the opinion of whatever "expert" you go to. You can read up, you can find things to do to help with whatever you consider weaknesses in your personality, but there's not really any funded programs for that - you're on your own. Pretty much all that diagnosis will do, if you believe your expert, is answer the question as to your being on the spectrum or not. After that, it's all in your hands. Pretty much as it was before....


Good luck and welcome.



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18 Dec 2008, 11:06 am

Hi raggle-taggle-gypsy and welcome to WP.

Re: getting diagnosed. Most doctors won't just base their assessment on what you tell them orally. Some use different types of written tests, and observe your nonverbal cues. (I've heard that these nonverbal cues exist and that NT doctors can actually see them. Amazing, isn't it?)

Many of us Dxed as adults worry about appearing too "normal," but the truth is, we're often the last to know that we don't appear terribly "normal" to the rest of the world anyway. The other day, when I was feeling really down, I told my husband that I felt bad we got married without knowing that I had AS, because now we have all these issues to deal with. I felt like I was adding a burden to his life that he was unprepared for. His response was actually kind of funny. He said, "Well, you know, it's not like I haven't noticed from the first day we met that you don't exactly relate to people in any kind of conventional way." And I thought I'd been faking it so well!

And btw, he sees the diagnosis in a completely positive light. Anything that helps me become who I really am makes him very happy. And the diagnosis has helped immeasurably, along with meeting folks on WP and hearing their stories.



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18 Dec 2008, 11:48 am

neshamaruach wrote:
Hi raggle-taggle-gypsy and welcome to WP.

Re: getting diagnosed. Most doctors won't just base their assessment on what you tell them orally. Some use different types of written tests, and observe your nonverbal cues. (I've heard that these nonverbal cues exist and that NT doctors can actually see them. Amazing, isn't it?)

Many of us Dxed as adults worry about appearing too "normal," but the truth is, we're often the last to know that we don't appear terribly "normal" to the rest of the world anyway. The other day, when I was feeling really down, I told my husband that I felt bad we got married without knowing that I had AS, because now we have all these issues to deal with. I felt like I was adding a burden to his life that he was unprepared for. His response was actually kind of funny. He said, "Well, you know, it's not like I haven't noticed from the first day we met that you don't exactly relate to people in any kind of conventional way." And I thought I'd been faking it so well!

And btw, he sees the diagnosis in a completely positive light. Anything that helps me become who I really am makes him very happy. And the diagnosis has helped immeasurably, along with meeting folks on WP and hearing their stories.


Unfortunatly most of today's kids just want the next hollywood portrayed perfect person to be their partner, and can't realize that such a person doesn't exist... For that reason alone, I find I do not want to be a part of just any relationship... I want someone who doesn't have a hollywood blurred reality, hollywood blurs reality so horribly, between James Bond getting every woman he tries to, and chick flicks portraying guys as being totally commited to romance in every way when in a relationship, I think that is why people are having difficulty where older generations did a better job. Today's kids don't even know what is going on in the world today. I have met a bunch of people that didn't know about the terrorist attacks in India until somewhen mentioned he was worried about relatives he had over there.... And this was at a university!



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18 Dec 2008, 11:48 am

Im srry that was off topic...



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18 Dec 2008, 12:51 pm

No problem. Although I don't think you should be quite so harsh on your peers. My daughter, 21, has absolutely no illusions about Hollywood-type people. But then, she's worked in the theater and we've both been around the "real" Hollywood people before. :wink:

People of a certain age tend to idealize, romanticize things. They always have (look at the poetry of, say, Shelly or Browning). The jaded part tends to come with age. Don't worry about what people expect. Or what you THINK they expect. Because there's a good chance you're wrong, there. :)



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18 Dec 2008, 3:04 pm

It's not true that you would necessarily have come to the attention of doctors at an early age. My Mum said she would have taken us all to psychologists if she thought they knew what they were doing but she has no faith in psychologists. Also, Aspergers only became a recognised diagnosis in the 90s (despite Hans Asperger's actual studies taking place in the 40s no-one took any notice until much later). So, if I had been taken to a doctor they would have missed it, same goes for my Dad who was clearly Aspie too but obviously never diagnosed. And my youngest brother who is probably the most Aspie of all of us but it just wasn't a diagnosis back then.



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18 Dec 2008, 3:06 pm

Not much to add, but :D welcome to WP, anyway!


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18 Dec 2008, 4:04 pm

Exactly! I literally didn't know how to take care of myself properly; and my mom still didn't take me to a doctor. She thought that because I was smart I couldn't possibly have any cognitive problems.


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