When Life Hands You Lemons, Squeeze Them In A Fresh Papercut

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I'm curious to know if anyone exhibits the same talent for making any given situation it's absolute worst.
For example, have you ever done poorly on a test on purpose? I do all the time.
I relish the idea of getting the lowest score- or pretending I did. That is why I typically state my IQ being in the 70's. That way I don't have to compete with the uber-smart people on this forum.
I get a curious sense of fulfillment out of being last, the worst or below everyone else.
When I am in a really good downward spiral I have lost jobs, friends, even lovers and I keep hoping for it to get even worse.
How effed up in the head am I?

Discuss:

I relish in making things go from bad to as bad as they can possibly get. That way there is no place left to go but upwards.
It's also very exciting to create chaos and then get it organized into something.

Squeeze them on the carpet.. stops cats urinating there....

Does that work for puppies, too?

I have no idea have effed in the head you are. How effed in the head are any of us?

I always try to do well on tests.

Oh that reminds me, I need to put some citrus peels around my seedling garden. The next door's cat will not leave it alone, apparently it is lactose intolerant.

I also try to do my best gardening. Apparently I'm even poorer at that than taking tests.

I would have thought catpiss would work for puppies, but thats just starting a horrible circle of piss.

Its a harsh scent to an animal, so its quite possible it might. Lemons are cheap, give it a go.

I anticipated all this economic mess would turn into a deep crisis. Last year. In March, I got so stressed out anticipating the coming crash that I quit my job. There were a lot of other reasons why I needed to. But the biggest one was I didn't want to deal with the months of stress waiting for the economy to spiral into a collapse and agonizing over my career and job the whole time.

My quitting was kind of packing it in, giving up, whatever you want to call it. I just couldn't deal with worrying about my job for however long it would take for the economy to crash. I tried to tell other people what was coming, but for the most part no one believed me. (I'm kind of one of those predictor people that no one ever listens to -- a "Cassandra").

So I quit. My husband is supporting me. I have never been unemployed for this long in my life and it feels really weird... detached from the system.

Ah, nothing like lemon juice in a fresh papercut! Strangely invigorating, and it detracts from one's woes.

You do seem to have a knack for belittling people when they seem to be affected by their autism. And I notice you call yourself neurotypical. Hmmm.... Just a few observations there, that's all.

But now that you've posted this, it makes more sense to me. You remind me of an old friend (who would be about 55 now). He was actually my ONLY friend when I was in the Air Force, but he pissed people off all the time, because he was too blunt. It seemed like he went out of his way to offend people just so he could see their reaction. (He did this to many of the people who were mean to me, so that made him alright in my eyes.)

When life hands me lemons, I give them a sniff and say, "mmmm....how lemony!" Then I sit them on the counter, and go watch my Lego movie, which I called "Lemon Zing" and posted on the introductions board. Then the lemons sit there for many days, until I get tired of having old lemons on the counter. Then I put them in the "green bin".

I guess that's neither negative nor positive. It just is. That about sums me up.

Its a fairly effectve coping strategy - self handicapping. That way you dont have to compete, you dont have to work hard and find out that you're still not good enough... You just dont try.

you're not effed in the head, but you might want to look at more positive coping strategies... if you genuinely want to change.

I wonder though, are we, the population of this board, more inclined to masochist tendencies? Now, I don't want to imply any sexual connotation to the word, but rather, the self-defeating personality. Hmmmm, interesting topic.

Nothing like the devil's advocate to generate a response. I can certainly relate to this ideal of your friend, elderwanda. It just seems to get things done so efficiently, no?

So many questions.

You seem to have contracted Robinson Crusoe Syndrome. Stay away from boats and whatever you do don't visit Africa.

I like your way of thinking.

No more so than any of the rest of us, I guess.

During corporate meetings, I'll often play dumb - sit quietly in the back without participating - while others play their big-shot roles, which usually involve talking a lot without really saying anything. This way, I don't look like an even bigger fool than they for stuttering and stammering my way through a rebuttal of their half-baked ideas, ill-conceived plans, and pet projects.

Then, I'll go back to my office, consult my notes, and broadcast an email with an in-depth and factual critique of everyone else's presentations. I pay special attention to the issues that were glossed over or danced around during the presentation. More than a few proposals have been exposed for ebing little more than glorified flim-flammery.

Yet nobody ever seems to connect my critiques with that fat old guy nodding off in the back of the conference room ...