"Attention neckbeards: you do not have asperger syndrom

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Ive noticed that its very trendy both online and IRL these days for NTs to actively deny asperger syndrome as a legit mental condition and to express cynicism towards those who are open about being Aspies. Seriously,,,,,WTF!! !
For example, I remember describing some of my issues to an NT about 6 years ago and I ended the setence with "because Im different" and he replied with "everybody's different!". I really dont f_cking understand what thats supposed to imply and why he said that. I HAVE noticed that people are happy to call you "weird" and "creepy" as an insult to make you feel self-conscious and excluded; but if you acknowledge that you're abnormal and use such words to describe yourself as though being "weird"/"freaky"/"a bit odd" is something Positive, the same people who would use such descriptors to insult you try to invalidate you by saying "nah, you're just a typical _____". Stupid humans........

Two reasons I can think of off the top of my head to explain why:
-these days there are a lot of teenagers who read the wikipedia article and thus conclude that because they are shy and get nervous doing presentations etc (perfectly normal things everyone feels) then they *must* have AS to explain it. Much like a few years ago every problem child must have had ADHD
-Some people just don't understand mental conditions. Physical ones are all good because they can actually see it. Mental ones, well surely you could just get over it yourself? You don't have it that bad because for the most part they can't tell how it affects you.
I've told a group of friends I trust (maybe about 10). They're all pretty intelligent people. Most of them don't deny it, per se, but think I over exaggerate it a lot.

I think there's a little more to it honestly........People make a distinction between "us" and "them" becaue they inherently dislike those who they see as being abnormal/different from the norm(which is a range, not a specific point). Once they realize that by using words that are intended to invalidate and denegrate those who are *abnormal* can be used by people like us as a source of pride-becaue it makes us look different in a positive way-they turn it around because their goal is to invalidate others as a way of compensating for their own insecurity.

That's why I never tell anyone anything about me. I never say "I have Asperger's Syndrome". Where I live, it would just cause confusion, trust me.
Sometimes, with certain people in the medical profession, there can be some understanding, if they are open minded and know something about AS. Residents and specialists are the most likely to know.
The average joe around here? No. I wouldn't chance telling.
Most people are left with impressions without me giving them a label. They think I am: a.) slow, and b.) very quiet. People who know me really well pick up on the more obvious traits of AS. Some of them combine everything, connectionless and processing issues, plus a certain detachment into "me being not all there". That's the catch-all they use to describe me.
I only lecture on S.P.s to those I know extremely well, never strangers who I hardly talk to.

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 05 Dec 2008, 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My GP doesn't believe in Asperger Syndrome. He says it's just a type of personality. And in a way, I do see what he means. I have never thought of myself as having a disorder (although of course there are negative aspects of Aspergers). I see it as my personality, which is different from most people's personalities, but still it is who I am and I like being that way. I do see it more as a difference, and I think I am disabled more by the fact that society is geared towards NTs, and expects everyone to jump through the hoops that are the right shape for NTs and the wrong shape for people on the autistic spectrum.

I've tried to explain the AS to people, whose inane responses were, "Oh. I get like that!' This also feels invalidating. So then, I have to say, are you "Like that" 24-7?"

Like a PT I went see. I was trying to explain AS to her, in order to ask for accommodation. I wanted to see if she could agree to treat me in a room with a closed door, and not out in the middle of the PT treatment room. When I mentioned my sensory issues, her first response was, "Oh, I get like that." I tried again to ask if we could have the treatment some where else. She blabbed about going to a game that weekend. I wondered how she could possibly say she understood what I meant, if she would go to something like a game, on purpose?

on forums it doesn't look like it's being bad to just one specific disorder,but to any neurological,neurobiological or pyschiatric disorder that is complex,has not had exact causes found or has only been in the diagnosis books since more modern times,ignorants just do not have the experience of them or the knowledge to know what crap they are saying.

also,they need to realise,just because someone with a condition uses a word on themself,it doesnt mean it suddenly makes it ok for everyone to use on them,others and anything [like it even happens on here with words like 'ret*d'],look at how physically disabled people are taking back the word 'crip'/'cripple' and CPers are taking back the word 'Spaz'/'spastic'.

Lorna Wing (who, basically, "invented" the concept of Asperger Syndrome") wrote something about that:



I have a question for the people officialy diagnosed in these forum: according to Wing's criteria to diferentiate betwen "Asperger Syndrome" and a "normal variant of personality", you consider yourself to have AS or only a "normal variant of personality"?

Note that I am not asking if you think that you have AS, I am asking if you think that you have AS-as-defined-by-Wing.

I think AS is not considered a 'normal' variety of personality, because to appreciate it requires rearranging NT values, many of which are ingrained into our culture. Were it more understood and more accepted, then I think it could become an accepted variety of personality.

I have an AS diagnosis, but I see myself more as different than disabled (perhaps because I was diagnosed as an adult, and I have never learnt to see myself as disabled). I think, too, a lot of it comes down to developing strategies to fit into an NT world - I've developed sufficient strategies that on the whole I function okay in society and am accepted as a bit of an eccentric or a very quiet person (depending on the situation).

I like Simon Baron-Cohen's article 'Is Asperger’s syndrome/High-Functioning Autism necessarily a disability?' where he talks about the possibility of seeing it as a difference, but that it does require a kind of paradigm shift. (I would link to the article, but I'm new, so it doesn't let me post links - but if you google it, you can find it - it's online in its full text version).

I've never had anyone tell me I wasn't an Aspie - in fact, I was first "diagnosed" by my sister, after the Newsweek article in '02. I have had to learn various coping mechanisms over the years, especially since As wasn't even a diagnosis until I was in my 30s, but my wife knows that at the end of the day, what I really need is to go close myself into a small room and listen to Rush albums until I can face humans again.

Dr. Wing's work was indeed seminal, but as with most pioneers, there was much she still had to learn about her own discovery...

Well, statistically, the entire curve is "normal"... Heh.

But yeah: The cut-off between normal and non-normal is arbitrary. Where do you draw the line? One standard deviation? Two? Five? Just how many people have to share a trait before it is considered normal? If you say a trait shared by 1% of the population is normal, then bipolar disorder is normal; if a trait shared by 5% of the population is normal, then you are saying it is normal to have ADHD; if you say 10%, then it's normal to have at least one episode of depression; 15%, to have a phobia during one's lifetime... And there are so many ways of being "abnormal" (let's say, top or bottom 5%) that I can just about guarantee to find at least one trait in any given person that can be defined as "abnormal". Even if you just use having had a mental illness during one's life as a criterion for abnormality, you cover fully half the American population...

I think I do have AS-as-defined-by-Wing...with one caveat. I'm not entirely sure that I really know what she means by "take part appropriately in two-way social interaction at times" . I can have perfectly good social interactions with my friend, my husband, my mom, my dad, and a few others. But each of those people is flirting with the autistic spectrum, in their own way. I have had plenty of social interactions that felt "normal" and comfortable, but it's always when we are talking about a specific, predefined topic, and we both have a sense of our own role in the conversation. I'd rather gnaw my arm off than have to mingle at a party, and answer people's questions about my hobbies and what I "do." In general, I find that I mostly avoid social interaction because it feels odd and uncomfortable. Most people seem "NT" in a way that I don't know how to relate to, and I feel completely alien to them. Those people I avoid. But, sure enough, I do "take part appropriately in social interactions at times." In fact, no one has ever accused me of not taking part appropriately, at least not to my face (other than by rolling their eyes, which I shouldn't be able to "read" if I'm AS!) So, who the heck knows?

If anyone calls me weird I just take it lightly. I don't want to risk taking it wrong. I just tell them, "Yeah, I can over do it sometimes, I can't help myself" There is no point taking it to heart when the real meaning of it is understood. I understand the words, but understanding HOW they mean it, is different. Maybe in a playful way, stunned, or abusive, I can never tell.

With any issues that people reply, "I get that too" my reply is, "so you know what I mean then? That's reassuring" I don't always get a chance to say it or forget.

I either tell people I have AS, or I have a different way of learning and understand things differently compared to other people they may have come across. Telling people outright could possibly scare them, even if there is nothing to be scared of. Or think I am lying

Why am I not surprised?

People should know better than to think that an inherently bullying world of NTs would start being nice to them.

There should be a sticky thread on every forum here stating:
Rule #1: NEVER say the word "Asperger's" to anyone who hasn't studied it on an academic level. Never.

Unless you are using it as a defense in a court of law.....

The first friend I told thought I was lying. She still doesn't believe I have AS. That's ok. She doesn't need to know. Neither does anyone else, so I don't really talk about it. They know I'm weird. Some people tell me I'm weird. I have told a few people that I have AS, but not many at all. I think I am ok with everybody just thinking I am a little weird.

PS Neckbeards? What the heck? ...And you made quite a few of grammatical errors. It's bugging me quite a bit...