Only Aspie in the family

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I am logical, analytical, far sighted, and aggressive. My family are short-sighted, care more about impressions than results, and have low expectations in life (oh be grateful you aren't homeless blah blah blah). How can I deal with them? Already they are forcing me to put my bachelor's on hold because of finances. When I offer to take student loans, they get pissed as well saying lifelong debt blah blah blah..... Who exactly says you must spend spend spend every penny once you earn your degree?
I wanted to buy a great home foreclosure but then they kept screaming about how it's smarter to rent instead of having a guaranteed roof over your head.

They also refuse to even LOOK at analytical evidence of anything. They rely on what their "common sense" and little life anecdotes tell them then act dismayed when things don't go as expected.

I know just how you feel.

Long-term solutions vs. short-term solutions.

Exasperating, isn't it?

Tell me about it! These morons have no concept of the future. They always tell me how student loans will ruin my life and how buying a relatively inexpensive foreclosure is worse than purchasing a 350,000 dollar house. Do they not realize that a mortgage is tantamount to a 30 year debt? Of course not! Reality is governed by the popular opinion..

Excuse me, but who would be taking out those student loans, you or they?

If it's you, then they have no say in the matter, and you are free to get the loans you need on your own.

If it's they, then you may have to just live with their decision until you can take loans out on your own.

I am considering taking out student loans in my own name.

I am good with money. I always have been.

Last edited by Samara on 09 Dec 2008, 6:38 pm, edited 5 times in total.

Nothing says, "I am a responsible risk-taker when it comes to achieving my goals" quite like taking out a student loan in your own name.

Best of luck!

Sorry, on track. I am the only adult in my family with autism except for a nephew who is 11 and has HFA and a other nephew that has AS and i think too bipolar or some serious mental health problem. I think catatonia they said but he is ok now. My older sister has serious bipolar disorder. Like my dad and my my mums brother had paranoid schizophrenia and is dead too.
I am so happy I dont have serious mental illness like chronic bipolar or schizophrenia. Id rather have AS or autism any day.
Mild, like mine is, anyway.

Aspies are very sensitive to people personality and life can be difficult enough as it is if your on the autism sepctrum. People need to learn to back off and understand about AS
i have noticed people with AS are misunderstood too much and its really cruel especailly sad when your family is like it or doesnt understand you. They proberly just want the best for you but they go the wrong way about and need to accept where you are at and who you are as a person. Not what they want you to be. It can hurt when you go through life, pressured, misunderstood, cristised, put down or just ignored.
People on the autism spectrum can act like they dont care or need love but we so need love like everyone else and most of all understanding.

Last edited by Samara on 09 Dec 2008, 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Their motive seems to just be an attempt to protect you. Regardless of if you agree with the decisions, try to appreciate that. Them putting up the money for your college is also very nice.

And with that said. If you got all the details ironed out, maybe you're ready to go ahead and make those decisions. Just remember those are very long term decisions.

The more baggage you put on, the less flexibility you will have. You may not be able to pursue interests because you are married to a mortgage and a student loan. If you're ready and fine with that, then maybe you're ready.

Just my 2c

My parents are doing the same exact thing to me.

My dad definatly has some AS traits. My mom might too. My 2 year old neice probably has it too.

My dad definatly has some AS traits. My mom might too. My 2 year old neice probably has it too.

I have to admitt. i am kind of feeling jealous of other apsies with protective families. My mum let me stay with her when i was 15. she was really nice but my sted dad got jealous and so the next day I had to go. My mum just dropped me off on the street. Like didnt she even care where i had to go. Did I have a place go.
She has helped me out alot this year but she doesnt respect me and i am feeling like, i feel like i was never cared about. Like i didnt ever really have a family that cared. No one loves me
Thats how it feels anyway.
I would be wrapped if i had a family that was so caring and involved. I proberly feel annoyed of being hassled but atleast i would feel cared about. I would feel like i was a worthwhile person, like i was important and wouldnt have to fight so much to maintain a sense of dignity and esteem.
I know no family is perfect and mine isnt so bad as some (in some ways anyway) but it makes me feel jealous. Like hurt. I am not a child anymore but i am still wishing I had a family like that.
Sorry but i am jealous and sorry too for complaining but since i have been diagnosed with BPD it has made me realise and understand some of my feelings. It is very important to identify feelings and yes i have had thearpy, like everyone does these days, so i am nearly next to normal and soon i wont be BPD at all or controlled by it cause i will understand myself better.
I still love my family just not my stepdad. Sometimes I feel like i hate my mum too and i really wanna hurt her. I just cant stand her and then i remember she is my mum. Its so confusing and it hurts. i been thinking that sometime in future i will move states, like i will completely move away so i can think straight.

I own my place (well, myself and the bank) and I see it as renting, but I will own it eventually. Renting seems like a waste of money to me, and purchasing a forecloser just seems smart (as long as it is in good condition) because they are usually much, MUCH cheaper. I don't know what their problem is, good luck is all I can say.

I'm also someone who felt like they must have been left at the doorstep immediately after birth, because I was always the odd one out in my family.

It took me a long time to have faith in my ability to be financially independent, but I did it and never looked back. If you're logical and analytical, you must have looked at all the financial facts and such, so you know what makes sense. It's just a question of being ready to do it. If you wait for your family to give you the green light, you might wait the rest of your life.

I took a student loan for graduate school and paid it all back on time. I ended up buying a house, too. My material needs are minimal, so I was never in any danger of ratcheting up my credit cards for large purchases of needless items. If you keep your focus on what's essential to you, you'll be on your way.