Being cold and distant...

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Does being that way just feel easier? As in it requires less effort. Being emotionally attached to things I find to be rather draining, and it requires more effort and exersion. I find most socializing to be an extremme effort, after which I need some alone time in order to get my mind into a less frenzied state.

can anyone relate???

Although I am not a social creature and I am usually quite serious, I'm not cold and distant by nature. However, I do become EXTREMELY cold and distant when I am overwhelmed, angry, or not coping well (precursor to meltdown). It seems to be a coping mechanism, although it is hard for the people close to me who witness me change personality almost instantaneously.

I can also definitely relate to needing some 'alone time' to recharge after a social occasion.

Yeah, I guess it's also a bit of a coping mechanism for me after being overwhelmed by certain things. I'm not cold and distant by nature either, but if you were to be, wouldn't the feeling of being overwhelmed occur less. Just a thought.....

Yes, it might be easier... and sometimes I wish that I could do that. Just turn off all my emotions and connections to people and events before reaching that critical point where it happens outside of my control.

I become cold and distant in emotional situations. I've no problem being politely friendly when I'm at ease, but if I'm depressed or sometimes even extremelly happy, I like to be left alone.

I'm like this and I hate it. Once my friend broke his leg and I saw it and everything and it was messed up and gross but I had absolutely no reaction. I had to act like I was freaked out and concerned. Another thing that kills me is imagining myself at a funeral and not feeling anything.

been there. I can act sad enough to pass for a human being most of the time but for some reason on funerals I just get so tense and unable to do anything with my facial muscles.

I've been called an android a few times because of this.

recently I've been practicing the look of shock and horror but it's not going to well.

Yeah same with me, I actually hate being on an emotional roller coaster. Thats why I'm wondering if I must just default by feeling numb..

For me, social situations often drain me. So, not engaging in social situations is definitely more comfortable for me. But I know there are times that I must engage in them. Tonight, for example, is a birthday party for a family member. I am already dreading it. But if I don't go, I will wish I had later. So I will go. But I will be drained afterwards to the point where I will engage in an interest to get me back to my normal mode---if you can call that normal.

Socializing has always been an extreme effort for me. When I try to be more sociable, I often make a fool of myself. For example, this morning at my school I told one of the students that he had done a good job at the concert yesterday. He looked at me funny. Then I realized he wasn't in the concert---it was someone who looked similar to him that was in the concert.

I don't become cold and distant apart from when I just want to be left alone. And if that doesn't work, I will try to play mind games with the person and become mentaly destructive for the person on the other end, and if all else fails, I tend to become aggressive... Fortunatly I am a very very patient person, and I owe that to a game that ran at a snails pace on my computer about 4 years ago, so I haven't gotten to that point in many years. I also have noticed that I become a very angry person if someone is constantly bothering me, not a snappy angry person, but a cold angry person, with lots of sarcasm, and yeah. Fortunatly, I'm outa highschool, and the earlier education like HS and ES seem to be the biggest cause of torment, so I haven't even been to the first stage in a while...... Apart from when my 13 year old brother totalled my 500 gig external hard drive loaded with stuff that was very hard to come across. Fortunatly for him, I was in too much of a state of shock to hate him for it.

EDIT:

I also love some social situations, especially family get togethers, where I can listen to all the stories of the elderly people that are there.Why is it that the old days are so interesting, even if I would never be able to bare them given my current knowledge.

Farther and frigid topic

Cold and distant, like a comet on its furthest from the Sun. And my orbit is such that the Sun is no where in sight. Neither are the other stars that could offer some wartmth.

Metaphorical this morning.

sartresue is it an OCD thing with your naming each topic?

(not criticising, just curious)

I admit I am cold and distant except for with my kids and any dogs. But with everyone else.. I am. Just hugging someone is not something that comes naturally for me. But I have been better with my husband... he understands why I am the way I am but I know it frustrates him. One time I was giving my daughter affection and he made a comment "I wish I had that kind of affection from you".. since that comment I have been making more of an effort.

This is exactly why I've decided I don't want any friends. I moved states about a year and a half ago and at first I was looking to make a friend. I met a nice girl and she invites me places and seems just fine but I realized that I don't want to be friends with her. I don't want the responsibility and the drama. I don't want to have to care. It's much easier to just exist on my own (with my husband). And I'm doing fine. I don't need anyone else.

On that, I try too hard to show my 5 yold brother a lot of affection..... partly so he doesnt turn out as hateful of the world as his other brother, but mostly because he shows it back to me all the time in everything he does. That kid is well beyond his 5 years simply because he tries to be more like his older siblings and finds children's tv shows "weird" and would rather watch tweenage tv and anime. If anyone asks him who he loves most, it is probably my name that comes out of his mouth.

I'm always told I am too cold or emotionaly distant. I know I am. It's a survival mechanisim. If I try to be nice and helpful, I am told I am being to naieve. Yet when I am cold and distant, people tell me I need to lighten up and be nice. It's a no win situation.