"stereotypies" getting better?

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I was just noticing the other day that my behavior has changed a lot in the past 3 or so years (from barely speaking in an audible voice with strange unnatural sounding laughter & little facial and body expressions) to being quite "normal" seeming. I have managed to control my tendency to stare at people or things (tho I do still do it sometimes and it seems to make the people I am looking towards-not necesarily at- very uncomfortable), but I was still extremely shy, anxious, easily manipulated person until a few months ago (might still be??).

I found out about AS just a week before I moved to New Mexico (about 4 monthes ago) & I decided I would try to be completely different from how I was before, which means not imitating anyones behavior, talking to strangers, trying to get jobs at my level (not the type of customer service crap where they could care less if you glare at customer and throw s**t at them.). Mostly I was just tying to be more confidant becuz When I left home I had a bunch of different people tell me the same things (along the lines of "don't walk around at night", "avoid dangerous situations", "dont be so trusting" & "just call me when you want to come home and we'll send you a plain ticket somehow") which showed a distinct lack of confidance in my ability.

So, right now I am in a pretty decent situation, or at least, I do not feel as anxious as I tipically have most of my life, and I am enjoying what I am doing and being more outgoing and social than ever. But the point is, I have noticed that a lot of my stereotypy behavior has, if not stopped, lessened quite a bit, like I used to chew constantly: gum, wax, also eating just to chew, and while I still chew gum, it is usually more of a desire to improve my breath than a need to chew. I have also mostly stopped eating my nails. I dont rock myself to sleep anymore but I have noticed that I rock a lot at work (swinging my chair from side to side) & I have almost stopped walking in circles (now I only do it if I'm very late for work.)

I also feel a lot more... free (?) of my "need" to act, like the other night I was volunteering at a party and there was a great band playing and even though I really wanted to get into the crawl space under the stairs and space out on the vibrations, I controlled myself and stayed far enough away to stay mostly coherent for the whole night. (I dont know if this is justa problem I have or if it happens to others, getting drunk feeling from lights and sounds and vibrations?)


Anyway, I can't really decide if this is a good or bad thing, the more... competent one becomes the more competence others expect of one, if that makes any sense? And in a way, I feel really lonely not doing these things. My collections aren't giving me the same kind of satisfaction anymore, either, so I feel like, not only did I move myself away from the support group of my family & friends, but I've taken my self away from the comfort of my objects, etc.

arg, I'm feeling all confused and I dont know if I am saying what I'm trying to say in a way that would make any sense to anyone besides me. ugh.

It all sounds perfectly natural to me, especially just after a move so I'd give it some time before you try to over-think it.

;p
over-thinking is my nature, jejejee

just because you have AS does nothing to your abilities you can accomplish anything you want. Decide whats important to you and work towards it some of the questions only you can answer. Just I feel too many people on this site feel disabled by this stupid label that right now is thrown around quite frequently. No disorder or impairment will stop you from achieving what you want to achieve if you work hard on it. I know everything I set my mind to I end up completing thats not a cliche its just a testament to the fact that I won't accept I can't do something.

sounds like you're adjusting quite nicely. Keep it up.

I actually felt more... ENabled finding out. I dont feel dumb or crazy becuz now I know how my brain works and now I know how to work with or around it, and it seems to... make it easier to connect with people, in a way? Sometimes if you tell them you are autistic they realize you are not being an obnoxious b***h, but are just clueless and so become more... forgiving? That how it seems at least.

ah thanks....


but do you think....
Is it possible to be anxious becuz you dont feel anxious??

Autistic people are not clueless and no I don't think you can be uptight because you don't think about being uptight. Don't use your strength (as I see it) of being autistic to make yourself weak.

great in theory! i'll check in with you in thirty years and see if what you say is actually how it panned out!
i'm a tad older and my experience is a little different. as is the real life lived experience of a lot of older aspies on WP...not all, but a lot. IT also depends on how severe your traits are and if they affect your capacity to work full time or to even be in a study environment. It also depends if you had a family background that was clued in to ASD's.

I'm all for positivity and overcoming obstacles, and my special interest is in fact my career so i am lucky. But i can't stand it when a post on WP starts making sweeping statements (at all of 24 years of age) about how it is or should be or has been for everyone else with and ASD.

Give it a rest will you? speak to you in thirty years..........

Sure we'll talk in thirty years that sounds good. Will I even know who you are in 30 years? Regardless in my personal history I have never met anybody who couldn't fulfill a normal life with AS, PDD-NOS, HFA. Of the people I know who have AS most of the people who do not let that disable them lead normal productive lives. Experience means nothing to me because a person simply being older does not mean they have anything over you.

I'm not trying to be rude but in this event I know a lot of older people who fail where younger people succeed it are a fact of life. In relation to what you said I don't see any of the characteristics of aspersers disabling you from what needs to be done. I assume that since ASD's sometimes comes joined with other disorders that the combination may in fact be disabling. Tell me one thing that is feasible for any NT with my demographics that I cannot do while having PDD-NOS (even though it’s really Asperger's with a language delay due to infant ear problems).

Just to make my assertion very clear I have a stable social life even though I constantly get sick of people and then disappear and reform it again. I've had relationships that failed not due to any fault of my own but due to my partners. I've had a retail jobs which depend heavily on social skills and selling and in those jobs I have been approached for promotion into management positions in that field. I have directed, produced (though I guess you can't really call it that since I don't put up money for it.), and done many other positions in student films from when I was a film/video major (I left because in the end I couldn't depend on people to pay back favors and help me with my projects).

Every task I've set my mind to I've accomplished and those who I do not explicitly tell of my diagnosis have no idea. So this whole idea of the ASD's being a disability may be true in extreme cases but I can safely say since my own diagnosis contained this lovely part at the bottom:
Brandon will need life-long services to have any chance at a normal productive life.

That you can do as you like and nothing can stop you. There are people across the world making miracles happen through willpower so I'm not extraordinary case and I believe that too many people get wrapped up in the whole ASD's are a disability and don't think they can do normal things for themselves. In any case see you in 30 years if we shall ever meet. I also apologize if your life is not going the way you want it to that you feel the need to strike out at a postive message. Also forgive my bad grammer and spelling at 4:45 am in the morning.

Look, I see whatyou are saying about using AS as an excuse or a reason not to function at one's optimum. I really do. But i do also know that it is somewhat more complex than that. My comorbids are not the only thing that have played havoc with my capacity to get ahead in life.

I also agree that one has to really be careful not to fall into that kind of self- sabotaging abyss that you are talking about. The AS can indeed be viewed differently, and with more embracing positivity. I take note of the fact that by 24 you and your family actually had a name and a set of criteria for what the issues are/were. What if you just ended up being thrown on the scrap heap because you were eccentric and odd and in your day there was NO CRITERIA? You were the weird kid and there was no avenue for redressing that imbalance and not even a family to help you through? it changes things and it actually alters the whole validity of your argument. That is all i am saying. NOT your experience. but your argument. I am actually really happy for you brandon, that you have been able to have such a productive view of the whole issue of AS in your life. may i ask...have you also had family support??

i really am not into using AS an excuse that prevents me from kicking goals and taking risks in life. But what i am saying is that my youthful and hopeful experiences as a young adult were just that, and the LONG TERM experience of being a person with AS has indeed meant that the sky has not been the limit and not everything has been acvhieveable that i hoped would be achieveable.

A lot depends on when you were dx'ed and how supportive an environment you have to grow in as a person with AS. I see your argument as a very nice western world and middle class New Age summation of the issue. Say it to someone in an indifgenous and remote community in australia, or to a village kid in southe america. Or even a family home in the sixties in sydney australia where there were 8 kids and two very eccentric parents who left their children to fend for themselves in an era when AS want; even known about.... Your argument is a bit too crisp and Anthony Robbins for me....
it has a kind fo cheerleading tint to it that irks me in its simplicity. no offence meant. i respect your right to voice your opinion and your experience. And i am sincerely glad your experience is so positive and and fruitful. but your's is not the only empirical view around on WP. There are other experiences that are different because things have not been quite so rosy.

My family's support of me wavers depending on circumstance AS has become sort of an excuse. For instance I do not talk to my uncle due to him using money from my grandma in real estate deals without her permission. He lost all that money then didn't talk to my grandma I'm the only person in my family that does not talk to him due to this. Instead of well Brandon thinks that he should have payed the money back I get he doesn't understand cause he has AS. My experience is not all rosy but to get it where it is now I had to do alot of work.

I suffered from depression from 13 to 17 trying to comit suicide 3 times during that period; even though I was an overachiever I hated myself I had to reprogram my thinking to get it where it was today. I had to not be content with not being able to do something to become even more of an over-achiever. Specifically in regards to AS I had to watch for things closely and use that to make up for my inability to read nonverbal cues. I had to use my general nature to take things literal.

In effect my family life is hectic due to the fact that my mother has MS and my family are not exactly mentally there. My mother went so far as to claim I abused her when I held her back from hitting me. The difference is I took that information and moved out on my own had financial trouble due to a relationship with a girl who didn't know how to handle money. I don't blame AS for any of those things I take accountability for my mistakes but in the end life is what you make it so if you want to say ya can't do it you won't if you don't allow yourself to take no for an answer you will get yeses if you work hard for it.

We just agree to disagree. i still disagree with what you are saying and I am happy you have risen above such obstacles. that is wonderful. but it is not the same for everyone else. And that is not because people don't try hard enough or because their attitude is somehow amiss or lacking or not positive enough. So many factors go into the mix in terms of how life turns out for a given individual. and it just not a case of reducing it to "attitude."

maybe so but I dunno there are so many people with much worse conditions making miracles happen that I believe anything is possible. As an example the girl with autism that when given a tool to communicate was much smarter then anyone could have imagined. Also the people who are believed dead but then make a miracle recovery just because they won't quit. I think sometimes willpower is vastly underestimated

i do too. but i perceive these as rare exceptions rather than the rule. I have overcome incredible obstacles in my life also. I won't go into it all again as my life has appeared on other threads. it has been chaotic and heartbreaking to say the least. But i think i am an exception and not a general rule. And i also feel as if i have a whole dose of tenacious doggedness that many people just do not have as part of their personalities. I prefer to acknowledge with gratitude that i've been a lucky little chook when it comes to life - in spite of AS or perhaps because of it (??) - rather than thinking that people can overcome anything.
and ps. I do think you are pretty cool for getting through what you mentioned in the above posts.