I feel my life is going nowhere, is this somehow Asperger's?

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I've been struggling for a while now and I always feel that life is going no where for me. It seems like the only time I actually feel good about myself is when I'm working, but when I stop working or have nothing else to do for my boss it just seems like there's no purpose for me. I do have Asperger's Syndrome, so I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Let me tell a little about myself and maybe someone can help me figure out why I'm feeling this way. I'm 20 years old, been diagnosed with Asperger's in the late 11th grade. I'm always on the computer and have a lot of talent in the area of web dev, java, etc, but I'm never truly happy with it. I've never really been out, hell, I never went to any dances, not even my senior prom in high school. Can someone help me with this or am I just destined to be alone and not happy forever?

Back in high school I have seriously tried suicide, but was stopped 3 times by students, teachers, parents, police. Right now, that's all I can think about. I want to move out of my parent's house, but then I get to thinking, once I'm out what then? I'll be alone, and really have no social interaction period. What little social interaction I have now is through my case manager and my developmental therapy worker and that's it. I've tried talking to my parents countless times in person, via notes, email, etc, but all of those times I've just 'chickened' out and just said never mind.

I really need some help and advice from others who may have had experiences like these.

Thanks for taking time to read my plead for help,
Bryce.

Anyone got any advice at all?

Sounds like depression due to your social isolation, which in turn is caused by your Asperger's Disorder.

Seeing a GP would be a good start; they can prescribe SSRI anti-depressants if they deem you have depression.

I can relate to everything you typed, every last bit except for the whole "I've tried talking to my parents countless times in person, via notes, email, etc, but all of those times I've just 'chickened' out and just said never mind.". Ive tried talking to them, i never said never mind, but they did.


Try talking to them, don't chicken out, give them at least one shot, you owe it to them and to yourself.

Seeing a therapist would be a good start.



Are you in college? If so, see a therapist on campus. My brother is going through some severe depression right now and my mother made him go see a counselor and she had to go there with him when the appointment took place. I suppose it was to make sure he really did schedule one.

I'm not in college. I dropped out because I felt like there was no use and just stuck with my work at home video editing job. I do wish I would of kept going, but it's out of the question now as I don't have the funds no more.

Does anyone know any good therapists around Raleigh, NC? I can't really talk to my parents about it because, well they're having a hard time to, and I just can't seem to find the courage to talk to them.

You must talk.
You need to talk - I mean from the heart.
You need a good therapist who has a clue what you're going through and HOW to get you to where you need to be .... and that means someone conversant with Asperger's/ASD's.

A therapist unacquainted in this area may turn out to be a waste of everyone's time.

At least you've found WPlanet, which is a great shelter from the storm.
The more time you invest here, the better equipped you'll be to contend with the issues that trouble you.

If you are suffering acute and chronic depression and social isolation, chances are you're also suffering acute anxiety - something that you may not even realise if your accustomed, resting anxiety levels are high.
And the problem with anxiety is that because it's such a core, primitive emotion (comes from the reptilian part of our brains), it tends to mask everything else - desensitising you to most other feelings.

So you need a therapist who understands and can address that.
Finding a therapist with whom you can spend productive time matters.
If it doesn't feel right, chances are it isn't right.

Life is a rare privelige - and well worth having.
Have faith (and that's what you need right now) that you'll find you way out of the darkness and as sure as eggs is eggs, you will.

So have faith and patience - and talk.

Thanks for the advice, I've been looking someone to talk to in my area but it seems no one has any knowledge of Asperger's Syndrome. I'm gonna keep looking though. Thanks for the advice and all.

I don't think it's AS-related.

Hey man I feel the same way sometimes. I get depressed & wonder were I'm heading in life and now I'm at college so thats the first step for me.

You just got me thinking about "life is going nowhere".

For one, there is a difference between ages 20 and 24. In my experience, it was a big difference in thinking and perceiving. There is even a difference between ages 22 and 24.

I also live with my parents but I also have a.d.d symptoms so I have an excuse. Just say to yourself "I'm an adult. I'm in control of my life." When your "frontal lobes / excutive functions" / brain functions progress to another level / "throughout time", you feel more in control of your life and more concious of things in the enviroment you are in. So it may be that your brain is still going through a phase.

Even when you are not conciously thinking about it, your brain / "you" is working things out unconciously and trying to find things in life that are meaningful, unconciously.

You can also try to notice things in life that have an immediate effect like when its warm and sunny outside during the summer etc.. Or think about things in life that are meaningful. What would that be?

It might also be an option to think about how you would like things to be in society. It would help you understand what I mean by "things that are meaningful". For example, what kinds of bills would you think need to be passed by the government or what kinds of technology would you like to be developed? Do you think that you could predict the future? Do you like how things were in the past in society "in those eras" better then this present era etc?