Would you attempt to talk someone out of committing suicide?

Post Reply New Topic

Same here (except for the "telling them to just do it" part), I had an online friend who would talk about it sometimes...and the first few times I talked her out of it...but then after that, I got tired of it and just kind of ignored her =/

Talk him out of it if I knew him personally and wanted to keep him. Already did yeah.

I guess I'd try but unfortunately suicidal people often don't listen to logical arguments and I can't talk emotions too well. I could just listen though and maybe that would amount to something.

if it was someone I cared much about I'd knock them out, put them in a straight jacket and take them to a psychiatric ward to make sure they're not going to do anything stupid while I'm not there.

"Aren't serious" as in "not really thinking of suicide"? Because that's not the case; they usually are really thinking about it. If by "aren't serious" you mean "would prefer not to commit suicide", then yes. Most people who want to commit suicide would gladly not do so if some solution for their overwhelming problems could be found; but many of them are by that point in a cognitive state that doesn't even recognize the existence of solutions. Most people who survive serious suicide attempts are glad they survived; that should tell you something.

Regarding the minority who talk about suicide as a way to get attention--remember that they probably do really have problems; they're not just doing it to be annoying. Nobody wants attention that badly who doesn't need it--maybe not the sort they're explicitly asking for; but they definitely do need help. In that kind of case I'd probably try to find them a counselor who could give them the attention they needed without them having to be dramatic. Not that that would solve everything, but it could do so.

In an emergency, the best thing to do, generally, is prevent them doing anything impulsive. Suicides usually are impulsive in some fashion or other; there's long-term problems preceding it, and long-term thinking about it; but the actual, final decision can be very spur of the moment. You can't actually prevent them doing anything; suicidal people can be very creative; but generally if you can get them doing something else--talking about their problems, playing cards, drinking tea, whatever works--then it's less likely that they'll focus in on suicide. Distraction really works in a pinch--it breaks the cycle of repetitive suicidal thoughts that usually precede an attempt. But that's an emergency; what you're doing is a delay tactic, like doing CPR before the EMTs arrive--the long-term problems have got to be solved and that means getting them to find a counselor, somebody who'll respect them and take them seriously and teach them how to deal with whatever's overwhelming them.

Regarding suicide: Obviously I'd try to help them. I've been there myself, on both ends of it, and both times it ended up in not dying and being thankful for not dying. If you can survive being severely suicidal, then chances are that that was the worst time in your life and anytime after that will be better.

I would tell him killing himself would be a very selfish thing to do. Not only it ends his pain, it's also the coward way out, his family is left in pain and his friends, and his relatives. People who kill themselves are losers. If I knew this person in real life, I would probably call my parents and talk to them about it to see how to handle the situation and I would probably call the hotline and if I knew his family, I would probably tell his parents so they can take it from there.



Heck I have had an online friend who told me who wanted to kill himself and I told him don't. I didn't see him online after that so I was left worried for three days thinking he had done it but then felt real happy when I saw him on AIM again. Then I wished he did kill himself because he turned into a stalker. Now I don't care anymore. He hasn't bothered me in a while or IMed me since early 2007. I just block him every time he comes back. I can't trust him.

"Coward's way out" doesn't seem to make sense to me. Takes a lot to push someone to that point, and then to actually go through with such a permanent action...

I've a friend who has attempted suicide "like twenty times" (her words) and it worries me sick when she won't pick up the phone after an argument, or if she's texting that she's had some problems and I call after work and she won't answer.

What irritates me about the "coward's way out" idea, is that it's the last straw that is seen to have caused suicide. Talking to my friend it's obviously not the case. We are not machines that handle one piece of information at a time, and move on. Our minds are baskets, holding everything in, and the bad stuff isn't easily "dumped" out. It just stays, shake that basket and soon enough, some of the darker stuff will obscure everything else... <-- Attempt at metaphor... Anyway, that's the way I see it, what's causing the suicidal thoughts aren't recent events, but everything in the right (or more likely WRONG) combination.

I hope I don't have to deal with this in the future...

It is the coward's way out because it is the easy answer to solve your own problem and makes everyone else's worse.

It takes a lot more courage and determination to decide "I CAN make it through this and I WILL make it through this." And thus, save friends and family and lot of heartache. I don't care how bad your problems are, the problems you'll bring upon your friends and family with your death will be worse.

I can understand situations where, for example, someone's entire family dies in an accident and they're the only one left. I would not commit suicide even in that situation, but, I don't feel I'm really in a place to judge them.

But to commit suicide because a girl dumped you or your parents yelled at you? Please. Stop being an emo p***y.

Sorry if I'm offending someone, but I've said before on these boards I have little patience for it, having seen my brother go through 2 best friends committing suicide, one of which was in his 20's and IMO had no reason to. RIP... but geez.

Both of those best friends have made contact with my family after their death, one to my dad and one to my brother and sister. So I don't believe you're able to cross over correctly after death, at least not immediately. Perhaps you're filled with guilt.

Cowardice doesn't seem to really enter into it. The instinct for self preservation is pretty strong; and if you're in trouble enough to forget about caring for your own life, you're probably someplace near not being able to care for others, either. I'm not saying "homicidal", but just "too desperate". Think Room 101 desperate.

The temptation has never been so great that I've actually followed through ... yet.

I take every suicide threat as serious, but ... there is this story about a boy who cried "wolf" one too many times. It did not end well for the boy.

I'd try, definitely, but I'd worry that I might not be particularly good at it, that I'd accidentally say something stupid that would make the person feel more like going ahead with it.

Having actually been in that place, I have sometimes considered volunteering for The Samaritans as a way of paying the universe back, but I've never yet actually gone forward because of that concern.

I say it's a coward way out because they are running away from their problems. Some people kill themselves because they are depressed or someone is upsetting them, someone pissed them off, or they are mad over an argument, etc. People have also killed themselves over stupid reasons or attempted it. I remember in second grade, my friend's mother tried to kill herself by taking too many pills because she was mad at her husband so she thought she show him. I did not know that until my mother told me when I was 14. I remember the incident but I did not know then she tired to kill herself. After my mother told me that, I just thought it was stupid and selfish of what she did.

Sure if someone was going to die anyway because they were trapped in a burning building and there was no way out and they knew they were going to die anyway, so they had a choice of falling to their death or get burned to death, which would they choose? I remember that happened in 9/11. I wouldn't call that coward because that was totally different.

My first reaction would be to talk the person out of ending it all but I agree that it is his or her own life.

The sad thing is that some of the things people get suicidal over is so transitory and not worth dying over. It's just as if they get stuck in some tunnel and don't know how to get out on their own.

IMO if they knew how to solve their immediate problem, and how unimportant fleeting pain and distress in compared with the bigger picture, they would not do it.

Any personal problem can be solved. You have to face them, and when you do, your life grows and takes on more meanings.

IMO that is why important professors turn into such egotistical, shallow, infantile jerks -- they exist in an ivory tower and as they gain influence, everyone starts agreeing with them, they start getting things with manipulation and favor networks, and they stop growing. They get sex using favor trading and coercion, they get grant money using incestuous networking, and so on. They get things too cheaply from the system once they gain a reputation, start cutting personal corners, and they stop growing and start shrinking as men. The more they misuse their influence and power in their little kingdoms, the more they devolve into infantile, smaller and smaller egomaniacs. They become like abusive aristocrats in Medieval times -- exploiting students callously, using each other.

Personal problems are meant to be solved. In fact, it is in the facing and solving of personal problems that depth, character, joy and greatness forms in people. Professional problem solving makes you a better professional, physical or survival challenges like climbing mountains or surviving a disaster with your wits makes you a more gifted athlete/soldier/adventurer. But personal problem solving makes you a greater person, and almost nothing else gives you as much bang for your buck in making your life richer and more meaningful than facing and dealing with your personal limitations and problems.

There is a saying in investing, about how you can find yourself in moments of crisis by not turning away from yourself:

"When a Man Stares Into the Abyss and sees nothing but darkness, this is the time that he finds his character. And it is his character, that keeps him from falling into the abyss."

There is something broken in the people who want to kill themselves, some inability to put their lives in perspective or inability to see that it is in facing personal problems and solving them, that ordinary people become great people. I view the AS the same way -- I have to face up to it, understand it and try to grow into it.

You learn the personal dimension of facing up to yourself when you join the military and do dangerous things to save people or serve some great cause. I think some people who never sacrificed for others, never learn this. So it is the people who have put little of themselves on the line for others, who seem to be most willing to give up their own lives so cheaply.

People who are serious about killing themselves don't let those around them know about it (they will try their best to hide their plans) as they want to succeed. Those who are making it aware are asking for help. Of course I would try to help them.

I've had someone tell me that once. I simply said "good luck" because if they were I hoped it didn't go terribly wrong... they were kind of mad at me about it though. =/

You showed indifference, instead of letting them hold your attention. That's what miffed them off.

Yes, some are just crying for attention. The sad part is that most of the successful suicides occur when there is no one else around to intervene, and they come as an almost complete surprise to the rest of us.