Back To Being "NT"

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I've decided I'm not a person with Asperger's anymore.
I paid the big bucks, took the tests, answered a barn full of questions, got the diagnosis, got the "piece of paper".
I thought I would understand more- that my life would somehow make more sense. And for a few brief seconds it did.
The fact is that my life makes just as much sense now as it did six months ago.

1) I'm not smart enough to have Asperger's. I simply can't follow half the threads posted here. Heck, half the people here seem to have super-human IQs and read whole books in 3 hours.
2) I don't get along with people, but I think it's just because I simply don't like people- not because of Asperger's.
3) My general life experience seems to be so vastly different (dare I say normal?) compared to so many of the participants here.
4) I have friends and I value them deeply. I don't have a problem meeting new people or exchanging idle chit-chat. In fact, my writing job requires that I be very social.
5) I have never had any all-encompassing "special interest".
6) I harbor no resentment towards any doctor (which seems to be almost a pre-requisite for this forum)

Has anyone else similarly rejected the diagnosis? If so, why?

None of your reasons suggest that you're not an aspie.

But it's enough for me.

I did for a bit because I cannot relate to other aspies, sometimes I can but lot of times I can't. They don't have the same problems as me or live the same lives as me and they have gone through problems I have never gone through.

I am too slow to have AS; I talked late, I was low functioning (not LFA), not a little professor, not a walking encyclopedia on my interests till I was ten, did not excel in school on subjects, in fact I struggled, and I read late. Lot of aspies here seemed to be good in math and excelled in it but I did not. My IQ is too low compare to aspies on here. My thought are different and so are my thinking patterns.


Now I have seen lot of people on here who suck at math so that is a relief and I learned people here brag about their IQ's and who knows if theirs are actually that high.

Yeah- I sucked at math and never made it past geometry in HS. Because of that I only have a GED. How many people with Asperger's only have a GED? I'd bet precious few.
I did poor-to-average in school and my IQ, too is on the ret*d end compared to the average here.
And while I was more-or-less an outcast for most of my years in school I was actually quite popular my junior and senior years.
ETA: I am continually reminded on this forum how I don't appreciate others' life experiences. Which leads me to concluded that I simply don't relate to anyone who does have Asperger's. How could I possibly have Asperger's if I don't relate to anyone with it?

I don't think I'm as smart as most people on WP. I talked and walked late. I was horrible in school. I can't even remember how to do year 7 maths.
But I still think that I am an Aspie.
No single Aspie is alike.
Why did you go for a diagnosis in the first place? I'm just curious to know.

edit: What is GED?

Last edited by pensieve on 26 Dec 2008, 2:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

I knew a few aspies who dropped out of high school. My ex dropped out, in fact he never went to high school. I have an online friend who dropped out and I knew an aspie in real life who also dropped out. They were all aspies.

Because it's a spectrum. Not all aspies are the same. Do you think NTs relate to all NTs? I don't think so. Do you think they all have the same problems? Do you think they all have the same bad things happen to them like losing their spouses or their child?

I've always had a problem getting along with people, family included. I've always been just a bit angry and jaded toward the world. Turns out that is just how I am. I don't think I can blame Asperger's for being a loner.
After 40+ jobs in 20 years one begins to wonder what the ef is wrong with ones' self.
It's not that I'm a person with Asperger's, I'm just a jerk like everyone has been telling me for the past 40 years.

No, of course I don't. But I don't even exhibit the basics, much less the subtle nuances of being on the spectrum.

Back when I was doubting my diagnoses, someone told me on ZOMG comparing myself to another aspie and saying I don't have it just because they are not like me is like an NT comparing themselves to another NT and saying they aren't NT just because they aren't like them.


What makes you a jerk? Can you work on it then?

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 26 Dec 2008, 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

2) Do you mean that you are able to decode non-verbal communication and that you see the point in smalltalk, and that you are able to select appropriate topics for casual conversation?

3) Is it your inner life experiences or your outer life experiences that are different?

Am I right in saying that you thought joining this forum would lead you to people with whom you have shared experiences? Because your reasons for rejecting your diagnosis all seem to be related to how your experiences differ from the experiences of people on here. Are these experiences things that have happened externally, ie stuff that has actually happened in the world, or are these experiences the experiences you have had of your inner feelings and mental states? If the former, then I think you are mistaken in rejecting the diagnosis. If the latter, then it may be the case that your mind is different to the minds of the people on here. Or, the parts of your mind that you want to think about are different from the parts of the mind that everyone else wants to talk about. We only know as much about others' experiences as they decide to tell us.

Anyway, I'm not you, and I don't know you, so I can't really say 'Oh don't be silly of course you have AS' or anything like that. I just wanted clarification on whether your experiences differed in an outer way or in an inner way.

I was skeptical about my diagnosis for a while. I would switch between thinking I had it and rejecting it. But the more I read the more the label seemed to fit. But of course, it's just a label, and while it is a good codeword for signalling many of my inner experiences, the label is not me. And while it will cause some things to make sense, you can't expect your life to magically tie up all the loose ends as soon as you know the 'truth'. I think the diagnosis helps because it helps you to know why you react to some things the way you do, and helps you learn how to adjust your life so that it is less stressful for you.

Argh. I know what I want to say but it's hard to translate it into words.

AS is not like a raincoat. You can't put it on. It will not repel the rain.

I don't know what it stands for but it's something you get if you didn't finish high school or never went. You go to college and get it. It's not exactly a high school diploma because all you do it go in and study and take the test and if you pass, you pay them some money and they give it to you. Then you can go to college if you want for a degree and it opens more doors in your life to getting a job. It's harder to get a job when you are a high school drop out so finishing it or getting a GED makes it easier. But a GED is not the same as having a high school diploma.

Sure. There is definately a point to "small talk" and I am quite skilled at picking topics of conversation- even trivial ones- that might suit the audience I am speaking with.
Is there a difference? I wasn't aware there was.

We all look for some sort of solidarity. I do, anyway. I did think participating on this forum would provide more substantiation for my new diagnosis. There are all these threads that go something like, "I have this or that, what about you?" and more often than not I respond, "No, I don't share that alleged trait either."
I think people (like me?) can exhibit many of the alleged traits yet still not be on the spectrum.

GED stands for General Education Degree (or Diploma) depending on where you live. I failed Algebra 3 times in HS before finally getting into Geometry my senior year. At that time a person had to have completed 3 math courses and I only completed 2 in four years.
This is why I am habitually between jobs and always make minimum wage. It's all good, though. I've accepted it as simply part of my life.

I have a GED.
I am certainly not the brightest bulb in the bunch.
I am different from most of the Aspies I have met in person, but most of the aspies I have met in person vary greatly..not one has seemed anything like the other.
There are many threads on this forum that I am unable to follow indepthly, and posts that are too dense for me to absorb...
I did not pay all the money for the certificate, but I was Assessed by a specialist who believes I have it.
Whether or not I really am an aspie, there is alot of stuff on this board that I can relate to, otherwise I would not have so many posts.

I also agree with all questions but 2, 3 and 6. I am sociable and have a lower IQ.
I do resent my doctor, though lol.

However if you think your diagnosis is wrong that is your choice. I think you are lucky to have found the life you wanted to have and it is not set in stone that you need to think about aspergers all the time, or even think you have it.

I'm still not sure if I have AS or not. There are tons of aspie traits that are right spot on with me, but then other things that couldn't be more opposite of me. I think I definitely am somewhere on the autistic spectrum, certain things can't be denied (such as the toe walking and minor stimming) but I don't feel like I fit enough criteria to fully be AS. I also feel because I'm not that smart I might not have AS.

Also, I don't obsess over things like most people with AS do. I have meltdowns, but they can be controlled for the most part, and I almost never have them in public. Same with stimming, I don't do it in public. I do have my obsessions, but not to the extent of a lot of aspies I've seen.

Even though I have an extremely hard time making friends I don't keep to myself like most aspies, I try to put myself out there, and I really enjoy other people. I don't think I can relate to most aspies that well, but then again I can't relate to most NT's that well either.

But really, screw labels, you are what you are. If you know for sure you're an aspie that's great, but if not that's fine too. :]