Due to Lack of Empathy or ToM are You Less Nurturing?

Post Reply New Topic

Due to lack of Empathy or ToM do you feel you are less Nurturing and if so in what ways?
How does this affect your social life and the lives around you?
How do you feel about this and how do you compensate?
How does this affect your personal and family life (if any)?
How does other people perceive and feel about you because of this?
Do you care and if so how do or would you like to improve on this and if not then why?
How and in what ways has this impacted your life and lives those you now or have been involved with?
Do you feel your more or less selfish because of this?
Do you have or ever want to have children or if you do have them do you regret having them and if not then why?
Do you try to nurture others interests or just try to get others to take interest in or help foster your own?

Last edited by Forsaken on 29 Dec 2008, 12:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

Due to lack of Empathy or ToM do you feel your less Nurturing and if so in what ways? I only feel nurturing to animals. I do not want to talk to people or interact with them.
How does this affect your social life and the lives around you? I don’t have a social life. People think I am a rude, stone cold b***h.
How do you feel about this and how do you compensate? It does not bother me.
How does this affect your personal and family life (if any)? No. My family accepts me for who I am.
How does other people perceive and feel about you because of this? They think I am just a stuck up b***h.
Do you care and if so how do or would you like to improve on this and if not then why? No. Because I don’t care what people think of me.
How and in what ways has this impacted your life and lives those you now or have been involved with? People tried to force me to be something I wasn’t.

Sometimes I worry about it because I wonder if I'll ever be able to love someone -you know, outside of the whole 'I love my pets, I love my parents' sort of love. Love like 'dating love'...I dunno. Maybe I worry too much.

What the hell is ToM?

All I can tell you is that people think of me as emotionally self-sufficient - and are pleasantly surprised when I show I'm not.

One thing I've ALWAYS wanted is a 'mirror', so I can see myself through other people's eyes and tweak myself accordingly.

I don't lack either empathy or theory of mind. What I do lack is the ability to form deep emotional attachments, and to express caring in ways that most people consider important. I have no problem knowing when people are in trouble, either physically or emotionally. I give whatever might help, but that doesn't extend to hugs or other forms of physical contact, or the kind of comforting chatter that seems to come so easily to other people. Looking back, I can see that I wasn't a nurturing mother to my children. I was always concerned for their welfare and tried to show them that I cared for them, but one now sees me as uncaring, so obviously I didn't provide what he needed.

I'm not sure if I have a deficient theory of mind. My first instinct is to say I do, but I don't trust my own ability to evaluate myself. I certainly seem to have more trouble being supportive than most; it usually just amounts to me asking myself "how do I think I would feel in their situation?" which is a difficult question for me most of the time, and I wonder if most people are more profound in doing this.

Dido
Other then many times I find I am wrong.
I do try and ask questions but many times people do not give me honest answers.
What makes it really hard is when people give me answers that could have multiple meanings or they are being really vague.

Yes. I do not offer condolences in the expected way. I do not know how to take care of sick people and/or express concern, or how to handle children.


It caused me to remain in the background or get left out, or treated like a child (recalling when I had more social contact). Those around me rarely said much about how this affected them.


I do not really mind. I compensate by providing advice and information, rather than nurture. Others also use me to listen to them a lot. However, these things appear to just happen by default.


Those around me rarely said much about how they perceived and felt about this. I'd sit quietly while people told their troubles and/or I would suggest solutions. They therefore told me I was an excellent listener and assumed I could feel what they felt/empathized, though I could not. My siblings would blatantly call me selfish.


I care, in that I much prefer people to not suffer, but cannot feel their pain. Why I do not wish to improve my empathy: my current state allows me to provide dispassionate/logical advice and information, and I'm usually the only one present able to fulfill such a role; the idea of being touchy feely is very off-putting to me; it would be extremely distressing to live with increased empathy on top of my sensitivities.


People use me as their personal physician and/or adviser, trying to extract information from me. It is quite worrying because I am not qualified. They seem to get their needs for sympathetic words and gestures met elsewhere.


I feel selfish. However, when spending hours researching at someone's request, it cancels it out.


Never wanted children. Can barely take care of my own needs, such as eating adequately, and cannot live independently. Also, feel no emotional desire for children.


I do not nurture others' interests/needs emotionally. I provide advice and information, or practical help. I do get others to take interest in my needs but am never sure whether I should or whether I am doing it correctly (eg too much or too little). One person accused me of treating them like furniture.

Theory of Mind.