"Vacuum cleaner is a horrible gift.'" Is this an

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CleverKitten
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29 Dec 2008, 11:20 am

I spent christmas with my family, and they were all discussing horrible gifts they had gotten.
My uncle brought up the time he gave his wife a box of crackers and a can of cheese. We all had a good laugh about that.

But then somebody said, "Well at least you didn't give her a vacuum cleaner."
And everybody started laughing hysterically and agreed that a vacuum cleaner was a horrible gift to give a wife. I didn't laugh at all, because I didn't know what was so funny.

I don't understand why a vacuum cleaner is a horrible gift to give to a wife. I would love to recieve a vacuum cleaner. They are expensive. But they make chores so much easier, and therefore make life easier. It's very hard to misplace it, because it's so big. It's something you could use every day. What a perfect gift! :?

Can someone please clarify?


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CleverKitten
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29 Dec 2008, 11:22 am

Oops, the topic was supposed to read: "Vacuum cleaner is "a horrible gift.'" Is this an NT thing?


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gramirez
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29 Dec 2008, 11:25 am

It's better than receiving a pack of underwear, IMO. I see nothing wrong with a vacuum cleaner. Like you said, they're expensive.


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Hector
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29 Dec 2008, 11:26 am

It might be seen as an assertion that you believe it is her task alone to vacuum, which many would find insulting. A vacuum cleaner is something a husband or wife buys for themselves collectively, not as a gift for the other person.

However, if you're friends with a couple who live together and their vacuum cleaner doesn't work properly, buying them a new one for them would (I imagine) be appreciated greatly.



Last edited by Hector on 29 Dec 2008, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

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29 Dec 2008, 11:28 am

hello cleverkitten, heres my 2 reasons why i think some people think a vacuum is a horrible gift, 1. because of the saying "this gift sucks" can be taken literally (well vacuums do SUCK in dirt right?? :lol: )

2. it can also be interpreted as the giver "subliminally dropping a hint" saying "your house is dirty, please clean more often and here's a vacuum since you appear to not be able to offord one"

there is someone I known about 8 or 9 years ago i think would smile from ear to ear if he had a new vacuum, some kid (hes now in high school i believe) named Ben, I think he had autism or aspergers and i once met him while cleaning out my grandmother;s house, he was riding his bike and happened to see my grandma's dirt devil supreme (red upright vac) caught his eye and he was asking all these technical questions about it and talking about the canister and "sled" vacs he has. I would like to meet up with him again and communicate with him, but im not in the neighborhood anymore accept on weekends while going to stores.


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CleverKitten
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29 Dec 2008, 11:30 am

Hector wrote:
It might be seen as an assertion that you believe it is her task alone to vacuum, which many would find insulting. A vacuum cleaner is something a husband or wife buys for themselves collectively, not as a gift for the other person.

However, if you're friends of a couple and their vacuum cleaner doesn't work properly, buying them a new one for them would (I imagine) be appreciated greatly.


Hmm, I never thought of it that way. But then again, in the household that I live in, the gifts that people recieve, such as video games and food or stuff like that, everybody uses anyways.


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29 Dec 2008, 11:30 am

You didn't relly understand the joke of it. It means that when you give a woman a vacuum cleaner , she has to vacuum a lot, you give the message ''yes, baby, that's going to be a lot of vacuuming, since I bought you this gift''. It's like giving someone a toothbrush, with the result the person who gets it gets annoyed because he thinks he has to do extra brushing. Hard to explain. I know it's not logical, but people tend to think that way. Of course a new vacuum cleaner doesn't mean the wife has to vacuum much more than before, but people associate a vacuum cleaner with nasty and horrible cleaning work, so they don't appreciate it. I hope yopu understand now; it's hard to explain, and English is my second language so I might be not that clear.


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29 Dec 2008, 11:44 am

Crocodile wrote:
I know it's not logical, but people tend to think that way.

It is ENTIRELY logical if you assume that what you buy is defined in terms of how you think of the person and about how to bring them happiness.

Gifts are largely thought of things to be enjoyed by the receiver. Getting them things that are more for your own benefit or things that are connected with unenjoyable tasks (unless it means a huge alleviation of the negative aspects of the task...like self-vacuuming floors ;) ) aren't well received because they aren't about the receiver's happiness.

EDIT: Giving a gift that doesn't endear happiness in the receiver is seen as thoughtless and/or disrespectful. Even by AS people. There's at least one thread around hear about this.


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Last edited by DwightF on 29 Dec 2008, 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

rushfanatic
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29 Dec 2008, 11:47 am

CleverKitten wrote:
I spent christmas with my family, and they were all discussing horrible gifts they had gotten.
My uncle brought up the time he gave his wife a box of crackers and a can of cheese. We all had a good laugh about that.

But then somebody said, "Well at least you didn't give her a vacuum cleaner."
And everybody started laughing hysterically and agreed that a vacuum cleaner was a horrible gift to give a wife. I didn't laugh at all, because I didn't know what was so funny.

I don't understand why a vacuum cleaner is a horrible gift to give to a wife. I would love to recieve a vacuum cleaner. They are expensive. But they make chores so much easier, and therefore make life easier. It's very hard to misplace it, because it's so big. It's something you could use every day. What a perfect gift! :?

Can someone please clarify?
Yes, I have gotten vaccuum cleaners before for Christmas, along with a staple gun for Mother's Day...Yep.



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29 Dec 2008, 12:42 pm

I agree with you CleverKitten, I would be very happy to get a vacuum cleaner. It's a very practical, expensive gift. Plus the one I have now is broken.

And, I wouldn't have gotten the joke either.


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macushla
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29 Dec 2008, 1:09 pm

Did someone here say vacuum cleaner?
[youtube]http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=4wTg6yB2PRA[/youtube]



Last edited by macushla on 29 Dec 2008, 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

outlier
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29 Dec 2008, 1:10 pm

I can recall my mother hating receiving practical gifts.

She'd explain to dad how she really wanted more romantic gifts on special occasions. Her examples included perfume and jewelry. She'd also mention how hard she works all year and wanting to feel taken care of and special for at least a couple of days.



CleverKitten
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29 Dec 2008, 1:28 pm

Haha, whenever I recieve perfume, I usually don't like it. (Except if it smells absolutely delicious, like cupcakes or cotton candy.)
Jewelry is nice, but I don't really wear it often.
To me, those kinds of gifts, although somewhat nice, do not take much effort or thought at all, and do not show that a person cares. It's a "one-size-fits-most" kind of thing. And if it cost alot of money, then same thing, only more was paid for it.

But I'm also Autie, so perhaps many people will find my thinking to be very backwards.

I love practical gifts, because to me, they take thought and it means that somebody was actually paying attention. If my toaster is broken (or if I don't even have a toaster), then by all means, gimme a damn toaster!


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Last edited by CleverKitten on 29 Dec 2008, 1:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

blossoms
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29 Dec 2008, 1:31 pm

I find this thread amusing :lol: .

I agree CleverKitten, it is an ace gift. I have one, though one of those all purpose ones would be a nice gift. Anyway, I realise many things in social interactions have this hidden meaning, that the more 'socially dyslexic' will not get or will have to think about for a while to begin to appreciate and still can't say, with confidence, that it is this or that.

Most of the previous replies identified possibilities, anything from possible sexism (if given as a gift to a woman), 'your house is dirty' or (if you live with that person) 'so you could clean better for me' etc.

We are prisoners of our perception prisons, there is a school in sociological theory (phenomenology) that is concerned with "how common-sense knowledge is produced, disseminated, and internalized." A quote:

http://hss.fullerton.edu/sociology/orle ... nology.htm

Quote:
Social interaction is viewed phenomenologically as a process of reciprocal interpretive constructions of actors applying their stock of knowledge at hand to the occasion. Interactors orient themselves to others by taking into account typified meanings of actors in typified situations known to them through common sense. Action schemes are geared by each to the presumed projects of others. The conduct resulting from the intersection of intentional acts indicates to members of the collectivity that communication or coordination or something of the like is occurring among them. For these members, conduct and utterances serve as indexical expressions of the properties of the situation enabling each to proceed with the interaction while interpreting others, context, and self. Through the use of certain interpretive practices, members order the situation for themselves in sensical and coherent terms: In their talk they gloss over apparent irrelevancies, fill in innumerable gaps, ignore inconsistencies, and assume a continuity of meaning, thereby formulating the occasion itself.


The situation you relayed is a good example of "a process of reciprocal interpretive constructions of actors applying their stock of knowledge at hand to the occasion"



ssenkrad
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29 Dec 2008, 1:31 pm

outlier wrote:
I can recall my mother hating receiving practical gifts.

She'd explain to dad how she really wanted more romantic gifts on special occasions. Her examples included perfume and jewelry. She'd also mention how hard she works all year and wanting to feel taken care of and special for at least a couple of days.


May I ask whether your father is on the spectrum? I ask because I've heard this same exchange between my parents before they separated. My mother is NT and my father has AS.



NocturnalQuilter
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29 Dec 2008, 1:39 pm

outlier wrote:
I can recall my mother hating receiving practical gifts.
She'd explain to dad how she really wanted more romantic gifts on special occasions. Her examples included perfume and jewelry. She'd also mention how hard she works all year and wanting to feel taken care of and special for at least a couple of days.


Practical things are things you buy yourself almost every day. Would you give paper towels and Windex as a gift? I hope not.
Also, a gift like a vacuum cleaner has the ring of, "Remember what your place is: It's to clean the house." It's almost sexist in my opinon.