Is eye contact supposed to be instinctive?

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LolaGranola
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03 Jan 2009, 3:10 pm

Is it a natural thing, or just something people are supposed to eventually pick up on?


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Callista
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03 Jan 2009, 3:16 pm

So far as I can tell, it's both. Mom and baby naturally make eye contact; but whether adult-and-adult make eye contact may depend on what culture teaches them is polite versus invasive.


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03 Jan 2009, 3:18 pm

Quote:
Callista wrote:
So far as I can tell, it's both. Mom and baby naturally make eye contact; but whether adult-and-adult make eye contact may depend on what culture teaches them is polite versus invasive.


interesting. THE ONLY person in the world i can make eye contact with is my six year old son. he and i were even talking about it yesterday.



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03 Jan 2009, 7:28 pm

I was taught growing up that it is respectful to make eye contact when greating someone, and when talking to someone. It dose dot come natural to me but I have taught myself to do it. Sense I have been taught that it is common dencncy to make eye contact, unless I know or beleve that someone is a non NT. Iftheydo notlook at me when we shake hands or talk than I take it as a sign of desrespect.



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03 Jan 2009, 7:42 pm

Instinctive, I`d say. But there is a reason for this instinct to exist. Most of our emotions are "written" on our faces. So this is where people tend to look when they are communicating. It`s not as much "eye contact" as "face contact".



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04 Jan 2009, 12:19 am

It didn't for me, and I didn't even notice that difference. I only became painfully aware of my lack of eye contact within the last couple of years.

The concept of it was THERE, but it wasn't realized. I mean.. As a kid I wasn't confused by the concept of it, but I never thought about it, and I never even considered or realized that people are doing it around me all the time until these last few years. As mentioned, I wasn't aware of my lack of eye contact until these last couple of years.

I feel really stupid now staring off in some other location while talking with people.



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04 Jan 2009, 12:24 am

It doesn't for me, but when I become aware that I'm not doing it I will make a few attempts at making eye contact. I find when I explain something in depth I cannot make eye contact. It's physically impossible for me. I do better at speaking when not facing someone though.



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04 Jan 2009, 2:55 am

That's a good question. I've noticed that when I start thinking about eye contact, it becomes sort of awkward and strange to do, which is weird, because when I'm not thinking about it I just do it and it seems fine. Because of this phenomenon I'm not even sure of what I do when I'm making eye contact. I feel like most of the time I just look at people's noses, in between their eyes, but I'm not sure.


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04 Jan 2009, 5:57 am

I don't know whether it is or isn't

I didn't know that people were supposed to make eye contact until i was a teenager and somebody asked me why I never made eye contact.

Coming from an AS-ish family, it is commonplace for none of us to make eye contact..and there is no obligation to do so.
Most of my peers don't do much eye contact either.

Since it is really uncomfortable for me..I only do it when I feel really obligated to.



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04 Jan 2009, 6:36 am

LolaGranola wrote:
Is it a natural thing, or just something people are supposed to eventually pick up on?


It is a natural thing. With humans and animals.