Friends With People With The Same Disability

Post Reply New Topic

I was wondering, would it be true to say that autistic people will get on better with people under the same spectrum than others?
I ask this because even though I get on with some NTs, I seem to make friends with other autistic people easier. I asked my parents and they seem to think that would be logical.

Would you agree?

Yes, but I would say it is not a huge effect. Having things in common is always a predictor of friendship; but autistic people are very diverse, and other than the autism, have as much in common as a couple of random NTs might.

The lack of a big barrier between neurotypes might help you make an initial connection; but really, there's no guarantee that you'll like or befriend any given autistic person. There are autistics I think would probably bore me, and vice versa, because we just don't have anything in common.

So yeah--a little better chance at friendship, but no guarantees.

Most of my good friends have some kind of mental disorder (ADHD, AS, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Depression), so I guess the answer is yes. The main difference is that these people don't conform to society, and neither do I, so I feel more comfortable around people who don't think I'm strange. Most NTs view me as a very negative person, so it can be discouraging to be around them.

as an older aspie, i have to agree with moop. most of the people i know and do get on with - ususlly one on one - have had unusual histories and have a history of some kind of issue - anxiety disorders, addiction, depression issues etc. I think there can be an unspoken comraderie - particluarly if one has survived life in spite of these issues or obstacles. and the comraderie is also founded upon a common goal -which has been to grow, heal or contend with life, and learn how to cope with a world that doesn't really have an easily fitting place for you.

If i had been asked this question in my youth, i would have answered very differently.

I think aspies are more sympathetic and understanding of other aspies the same way epileptics may be more understanding and sympathetic towards other epileptics. That doesn't mean that all aspies would get along, however.

I agree with you, millie! I, as an aspie, always lose friends. I have been friends with someone for a year, now. I think what cements this friendship, is the fact that she is 10 years younger, ( I seem to get along with people older or younger than myself) she displays ADHD traits, has some sensory issues, and also has past childhood abuse issues closely correlating to mine. Otherwise, she is an NT.

I would say not and it depends on the people. It's like asking if NTs would get along with other Nts. There are some NTs out there who cannot get along with someone. Same as people with ADHD, learning disabilities, etc. and there is an aspie online I can't really get along with. We always end up in a drama when we talk until the mods decided to enforce the rules on the forum. No more puts downs and everyone is to follow the rules on the forum, no flaming or attacks. Now we are getting along better thanks to the rules. I enjoyed getting kick out of him using my AS against me on body language. He had only done it a few times though.


I have even seen some dramas on here and nasty flames and attacks so that's proof right there that aspies don't always get along. I saw bunch of it on AFF. People were fighting and bickering and doing attacks. Then it stopped.

[/quote]

i certainly agree with you there, spokane girl!

what i do know is that there are many many ASD people i will probably not like, and there are many, many NT people i will probably not like. But for some reason the people i do gravitate towards are people who have had rather "out there" life exeriences and who have lived to tell the tale. usually they have some kind of disorder which has made it hard for them to fit in to the mainstream society.

Most of the people I truly felt comfortable with had something 'wrong' with them- whether it be selective mutism, dyslexia, epilepsy or Kanners. xD I don't get on with people with Aspergers like I do Kanners but I suppose it's probably a coincidence since HFA and Aspergers are pretty much the same thing. Me and some Autistics that I know/knew- we tend to spend time with each other without speaking at all- just doing stuff and only talking when neccesary, but the people with Aspergers that I know are really chatty and it intimidates me.

I get along really well with (other) Aspies when we can find some way of relating our interests and goals. I get along fine with most of the rest, possibly because finding a way to be in the world makes exceptional people out of us. Can't stand those who are pedantic or too set in their ways, that drives me nuts.

have yet to have a conversation with any, so I couldn't tell you. The folks here are 'mostly harmless'...

being autistic doesnt matter,its whether needs,likes and dislikes of each clash or not.
am have autie 'friends',in the get on with them sense-they're either s/aut or p/aut,am known as easy going and get on with other auts around the same level or more severe because theres very little expected and they get the same back so they dont have a problem with that.
it is acknowledging each other and helping each other which makes am/them friends.
am get on very well with DSers [downs syndrome],probably more so than auties because they dont have the same high complex needs and clash with am like other auties with the same sort of needs as am can,though some [like the DSer am live with currently] are very aut like without being autistic.

One of my best friends has AS and we get a long great, he works too much so I usually hang out with his brother but I get a long with him too.

I have no friends with ASDs. I know nobody my age with that now.

I am friends with one who is borderline. Though that's more like a polar opposite in some aspects to autism.

I also get along great with my LD students.

Though I score high and they score low on the tests, I can converse easily with them and they can do so with me. But some have sensory issues, concentration issues, are inflexible and so on as part of their LD. I can understand that because I've got these too from being autistic and it helps in getting along with them.

Heh and there is a meaningful intelligence beyond that 'IQ' definition, these boys and girls show that.

Same disabilities... ah, yeah!

I was in school/class with someone who was ADHD for ten years.

We didn't get along. Or we did. In a weird kind of way. We kept associating, just kept running into each other (metaphorically, meaning we kept getting into interaction) accidentally.

A relationship of mutual interest and teasing one-sided bullying towards me, until I beat him up one day. Poor guy, but he deserved it. Don't make the impulsive hyperactive child-Sora meltdown in your face.

The only people I become good friends with are quirky people or Aspies who have the same type of Asperger's profile that I do. So, this means that I get along with Aspies whose main symptom is droning monlogues about special interests. One of my very good friends with AS is so like me that we often think the same thing. Hanging around this friend is very refreshing, because I feel like I "belong," rather than sticking out.
-OddDuckNash99-

Actually, I tend to get into arguments more with other people on the spectrum than with NTs. Usually it's over religion. But even if I find an aspie who shares my interest in anime, we get into arguments over the little details instead of enjoying it together. For example, subbed vs. dubbed, whether or not a certain voice actor is doing a good job, etc.