Do You Avoid Friendships Out of a Fear of Being Conned?

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Joined: 10 Jul 2007
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31 Dec 2008, 5:34 pm

Are you reluctant to get close to people because you are concerned they will try to nail you when you let your guard down?

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Forsaken
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31 Dec 2008, 5:37 pm

I used to not be.

jkennedy293
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31 Dec 2008, 5:38 pm

I don't think I avoid friendships because of this, but I do avoid loaning of money or property. I have had things not returned or money paid back too many times to count.

millie
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31 Dec 2008, 5:38 pm

i'm 46. i used to be. absolutely. not so much nowadays. I have finally learned to avoid scuzzbags - which was an impossibility for this gullible aspie up unti the age of about 45. but i am still very wary.

Last edited by millie on 31 Dec 2008, 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Postperson
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31 Dec 2008, 5:53 pm

yes, all my 'friends' have cheated, used me - basically treated me with contempt. saw my generosity and kindness as stupid. i don't expect that will ever change, you can't ever let you guard down and everything is a power game. who needs that? i'd rather have no friends. i have 2 dogs for friends.

NUFC_Fan
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31 Dec 2008, 6:09 pm

Something similar happens to me with my brothers, I always avoid letting them see my computer screen, or what book I am reading. And I change the channel when they come in the room so they don't know what I'm watching.

ascan
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31 Dec 2008, 6:23 pm

Postperson wrote:

Hell, that's sad, Postperson. You need a good honest aspie chap to take care of you, and help you run the smallholding.

outlier
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31 Dec 2008, 7:01 pm

Yes.

Fnord
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31 Dec 2008, 7:10 pm

I've learned that every friend is a potential traitor, and to never do a favor for someone without immediately receiving a favor in return (strictly "Quid-Pro-Quo").

ascan
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31 Dec 2008, 7:12 pm

Fnord wrote:

I've learned that every friend is a potential traitor, and to never do a favor for someone without immediately receiving a favor in return (strictly "Quid-Pro-Quo").

I bet your neighbours love you, Fnord.

Fnord
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31 Dec 2008, 7:14 pm

ascan wrote:

Fnord wrote:

I've learned that every friend is a potential traitor, and to never do a favor for someone without immediately receiving a favor in return (strictly "Quid-Pro-Quo").

I bet your neighbours love you, Fnord.

They only come 'round when they need a favor, such as when their kids are selling stuff, when they have petitions to sign, or when they need to borrow tools.

It's nice to know when you can depend on a friend or neighbor for a favor, but when they base the entire relationship how how often they can take advantage of you, that's not nice at all.

... Otherwise, they leave me alone, and that's just how I like it.

Last edited by Fnord on 31 Dec 2008, 7:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.

ascan
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31 Dec 2008, 7:17 pm

Fnord wrote:

...Otherwise, they leave me alone, and that's just how I like it.

Yes, there's a lot to be said for having it that way.

Postperson
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31 Dec 2008, 7:19 pm

ascan wrote:

Postperson wrote:

Hell, that's sad, Postperson. You need a good honest aspie chap to take care of you, and help you run the smallholding.

yair?

actually i'll be selling it hopefully in the next 12 months. wanna buy it?

ascan
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31 Dec 2008, 7:27 pm

Postperson wrote:

...actually i'll be selling it hopefully in the next 12 months. wanna buy it?

I'll be staying in the UK for the time being, Postperson. But hope all goes well with the sale.

Postperson
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31 Dec 2008, 7:37 pm

Isn't it cold there?

ascan
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31 Dec 2008, 7:49 pm

Postperson wrote:

Isn't it cold there?

Yes, it's about -2 degrees celsius outside at the moment. My garden pond has been frozen over for best part of a week. I understand Tasmania has quite a pleasant climate, and I had researched a bit on the place previously, as it seemed a nice country to live. I'm not too keen on extremes of hot or cold. Winter minimum where I live in SW England is usually about -5ºC with maximum around 25ºC in the summer. Mostly, though, it's between about 5ºC and 20ºC which suits me. Anyway, they've stopped all those bloody fireworks, now, so I'm off to bed.

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