Do aspis seek out aspies?

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I'm wondering if aspies instinctively seek out other aspies as friends. We're noticing a pattern with our 6yr old son where his best friends exhibit tendencies we wonder if their parents should look into.

Thing is, they have sudden and sharp arguments that leave them both distressed and unable to talk about it. Is this typical?

yes its natural people tend to try find same kind of people no matter are they nt,s or aspies

I don't think it's conscious behavior, but yes, I think aspies do. My best friend is a classical aspie geek, just like I am, and that's one of the reasons we always got along very well. Maybe aspies seek for the ones with simular behavioral patterns, so they find friends that are on the same wave length so they can understand each other and get along. I know from my own experience that aspies understand fellow aspies more than they understand NT's. Just like NT's probably won't understand much of us. People seek for the ones they know they can understand, like and get along with.

I think it could be true. Most people at school are on the spectrum and one of my best friends is autistic and we get on very well.

It's human nature to be drawn to people with similar personalities/life styles etc, I have a few aspie friends and we get on like a house on fire

Aspie brains are "wired" for interaction with other Aspies, so Aspies will generally get along with other Aspies better than they get along with NTs.

Also, like some other guys said, people seek out others who are similar to them anyway.

Absolutely... YES. Aspies do seek out other aspies and children of similar persuasions.

My school friends were

2 x Aspie
1 x Female (possible aspie - didn't fit in regardless) - I'm now married to her.
2 x Foreign with major "English" speaking and social difficulties
1 x Extremely Shy with Social difficulties.

Should you tell your friends parents about their children being aspie... perhaps not.

It would probably be better if you simply let them know about your son and let them find similarities by themselves. Some parents don't take the news too well.

Yes, absolutely. At my childrens school, children with Aspie traits seek out each others even if they have no idea about diagnosis and such. They also get along a lot better with each others than the other children do.

Additionally, the relationship questions in Aspie-quiz also indicates that there is a selection bias toward other Aspies. Even if Aspies is only a small minority, people that score high on Aspie-quiz are just as likely to have a partner that scores high as a partner that scores low.

It seems like the traits that draws people together are stims and some other peculiar Aspie communication traits, like "only looking at people you like".

For me not really. The few I met with obvious AS traits or ADHD throughout school were drawn to me but bullied me for being more severe than them.

On the other hand, at my workplace I get along wonderfully with the ADHD kids, partly because we share the disorder. Also with the ones with sensory processing issues.

I found there's more to getting along with others than the label. Personality and ability too.

But to me it appears as if people with similar/same labels (not limited to ASDs and ADHD) are drawn to each other.

Half of the time without even knowing that the other person has the same label.

As if a part similar to one in yourself in another person attracts you. Sometime it makes you hate them, feel disgusted by it, envy it or just like it and feel comfortable with the reflection.

IRL I don't, at least not that I've noticed.

My daughter doesn't seem to seek out other aspies or children similar. They seem to her though. I noticed she clicks well with the most popular and out going children and that is who she likes. She can be very friendly and outgoing so she does develop friendships with them but it seems to be not for long or it is on and off because they end up bullying her.

In my case: I don't remember how I did found at who were my friends at school, well, I remember a couple of them, and in both times they invite me to do something an I said: yes, while I was wondering why in the world some one wants to join me without know me.

I didn't ever know what to say to people so people would think I didn't like them.

Yes, aspies definitely gravitate toward each other. It seems amazing in retrospect that I managed to acquire a best friend and an ex-husband with AS, when it's a relatively rare disorder, but we have ways of finding each other--like the Internet.

My daughter doesn't gravitate towards them. She was in a class with two AS girls one year and though they wanted to be her friend and she didn't really have no one else - She said that, "they play dumb baby games" and she was bored with them.