How will you teach your children to deal with bullies?

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I will tell my children to seek revenge. Being a perpetual victim and keeping your anger and rage inside surely isn't healthy. Ignoring doesn't work and neither does "talking it out". Those who think either strategy has merit are clearly delusional.

Kick 'em in the snarglies.

...just kidding...

I think I want to teach them how to outsmart the bully with words. Use words that the bully doesn't understand. But if the bully does start a fight, I would give permission for my child to hit him back, ONLY to self defend, not to throw the first punch.

Last edited by SeizeTheDay on 04 Jan 2009, 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd want to make sure to teach my children how to not get targeted by bullies in the first place, I think. Teach them as many social skills as I can, put them into early therapeutic programs that specialise on social integration.

If blending in doesn't work because they're so different, then additional to the above, I'll place even more importance on trying to teach them charm and do what parents can do to influence their social experiences positively. Dress them exceptionally well, organise social activities for them...

There are people with the most oblivious and striking differences who're accepted by peers all the same.

My personal experience has been that once bullies have targeted a person in earnest, there's no way to ever put an end to their bullying.

I'd make sure my children had no problem to vent and turn their anger outwards - who cares for school property and bullies if the school says they don't care how my child is treated and that my child is 'the problem'? But it wouldn't end the bullying in most cases.

I'd be sure to act fast if bullying started. It's poison for kids if parents and teachers wait a year, wait 2 years, wait even longer in hope that 'the situation will solve itself'. Change school, press charges... I wouldn't be afraid of doing that.

I would teach my kids that I am there to support them.

I never had my parents support. And when I was mostly bullied by teachers, my parents would side with them and sign forms to allow corporal punishment.

One jerk did that with me once, and I chased him around the school. I was out for BLOOD! He was lucky.

It might be good IF you have a clear shot AND the guy is STUPID(You would think a robber, etc... would be wearing a cup) and you probably won't see him again AND you need to get away fast, but otherwise, FORGET IT! One guy TRIED to hit me there with a tsquare as a "joke", I guess, but missed.

With ME, if it were my son, I would probably get him a weight set, load him up with protein, train him with weightlifting, get him in a nice karate class, and TRY to encourage SOME sports. With a daughter, I would probably do the same to a lesser degree, and have her go to a judo class. I know a LOT of things now that I wish I knew as a kid, AND supplements are a LOT better now! They taste better and have better characteristics.

I will tell them why people bully and why they do it. I would tell them they just do it to upset you and their words don't mean anything. Lot of things they say is lies and they try to find negative things to say to you to hurt you. The worst thing you can do to a bully is to ignore them and they will get mad and try to be meaner but after a while they will leave you alone if you keep ignoring them. Don't ever show them your emotions, don't ever tell them they are hurting you, act tough.

I would also teach them how to stand up to themselves by using words like if a bully tries to egg my child to do something and calls him or her a chicken, I would tell my child to bawk like a chicken and say he or she is. Laugh at the things they say, tell them to say more things to you. Egg the bully to keep saying mean things to you. I would also tell them to tell their bully look a word up in the dictionary and it has a picture of them. I wouldn't care if my child teased the bully back and made fun of the bully back. Just as long as my child doesn't do it to innocent people but to bullies only.

fight back no matter what the teachers say.

I'd let them know that I'd support them, and get them into some martial arts classes for self-defense and physical health. I'd definitely teach them how to outsmart bullies with words since ignoring them doesn't work as I tried that myself growing up. If I had to, I'd pull that child out of the particular school as for me, the bullying stopped when my family moved and I went to different schools.

There are two ways to deal with bullies. The first way worked a lot better in the 1970s than it does these days, what with lawsuits and other things. The first way is to stand up to the bully, a.k.a. beat the crap out of them once and for all. Back in the day, all you had to do was go after the ringleader, and that was that, no more bullying. These days it doesn't work like that. Especially in places like Baltimore, with knives and all that there. The second way is what I used, and it took a while sure, but it worked. I think this has a name, "nonviolence". I just kept being nice to said bully until they realized, "Hey, this guy isn't so bad after all". Everyone that bullied me in any given year stopped by the end of that school year. Now nobody bullies me anymore. Sure, I'm 20 now, but still, the whole "reaching out to the bully" thing worked just fine for me. Nobody taught me how to deal with bullies; in fact, I didn't even recognize it as bullying. (Yeah, so I was naive, shut up lol) I never told anyone I was being bullied, I just figured out a way to deal with them.

karate lessons. They build confidence more than making you a better fighter and most bullys are afraid of confident people, even sissy confident people.

my son already knows that the best thing to do is give them a wide berth. he instinctively steers clear of the little "sh*#heads in his school.

Ok, REALLY, WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM!?!?!? If only it were so easy. It ISN'T! At least not in MY day.

Teach them to get angry easily and tae them to boxing and karate lessons.

I will teach my children several thing in no particular order.

1) Bullying is wrong in nature, and my children do nothing to deserve it.

2) Bullies are afraid of people who have confidence in themselves.

3) You only get bullied if bullies can get to you.

4) Always stand up for yourself. Bullies don't like people that push back.

5) Don't back down. That'll only encourage the bullies.

6) Violence is never the answer. If struck, try to get away without striking back, and inform the authoraties (me or a teacher); then the bullies will never bother you again, cause they'll be in a lot of trouble. However, if you can not get away, then fight with all you've got, and fight dirty.

7) Remember your own strengths and use them.

There's nothing wrong with telling me or a teacher.

9) Do NOT let them see you cry.

10) When teased, tease back.

11) Bullies aren't worth getting angry about. They're nothings; they're pathetic and insignificant beings.

12) Don't confused bullies with people that are just making jokes.

13) If you feel like you are being bullied, you are. You do not have to tolerate it.

if only it were that simple.

i never dealt wiv the bullies sure u can get revenge but still wen u've been called ugly and fat and worthless and a ret*d all ur school life u dont feel much better after u get revenge coz u wonder if it was true. then u start to self loath.

Similar, PhR33kY, although I think the main point I will stress is self confidence. Bullies target people with low self confidence, and once you've been targeted it's almost impossible (in fact I would say it's impossible) to escape. Nothing really works, not fighting back, not ignoring them, not running away, not witty repartee. I tried all these and my situation remained the same.

Even when I moved schools and I started again I would still get targeted straight away as a victim and the bullies would begin to torment me. I only escaped the bullying when I started to develop some self confidence and like who I am, that sort of feeling when you actually feel cool within yourself. Nowadays I'm probably one of the last people anyone would try to bully.

The only real way to deter bullies is to develop self confidence. If you look down on them and think you are cooler than them/hold them in contempt, they will run a mile before attempting to target you. In fact, the one other thing that works is having friends, because you can achieve safety in groups.

Thus I will constantly reinforce to my kids their own unique coolness, their own likability/specialness and individuality, and try to help them make as many friends as they can.