Would you feel insulted if someone said this to you?

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Suppose that you are a college student. You need to take a semester off because you are depressed. You go to see the dean. The dean takes a look at your report card and exclaims "...but you have good grades, I mean, I don't see any C's or D's in your report card!"

Would you feel insulted by that comment?

I know I did. The dean's comment gave me the impression that she was expecting to find bad grades in my report card. But why? Because I needed to take a semester off, which I suppose meant to her that I had academic problems, or because I didn't come across as the type of student who would have "good" grades in his report card?

I see how you might be insulted by that but I doubt the dean meant any offense. He/she was probably just surprised - most other students do not have such good grades. You should take it as a compliment

Time off for 'depression', come on now.

It was an insensitive thing to say, but I guess I can see her position. This dean probably deals with more students who are failing, and need to "take a semester off", than she does with good students who really do need a break and are just being honest with themselves.

She was working from past experiences. That doesn't forgive her largely closed mind in this instance, but I can see why she said that.

Were I in your position, I probably would have just stared at this dean, astonished at how completely she had just missed the point.

If you don't mind my asking, what happened next? How did things turn out?

I don't see how one should be insulted. That's probably the reason the dean hears 90% of the time (or similar reasons).

I wouldn't be insulted unless the dean somehow implied that I was "faking" it. I think it is normal for administrators to deal with people going through a depression who don't realize it until their grades have tanked. So some surprise in finding one who sees the problem before it affects academics is probably pretty rare. That's just my take on it, though.

The dean might expect that a depressed student would have poor grades, and might have wondered what's going on when seeing that your grades are good.

If that were said to me, I wouldn't take it as an insult. I would only think that the dean didn't understand that I was depressed. It would be like the dean was thinking that the main way a student would need time off would be because of bad grades. I feel like your dean was impressed with you and was complimenting you by saying you didn't have bad grades.

It seems like she's surprised you're taking a semester off because you're doing well in classes - the dean was most likely looking for some sign that you're not doing well (i.e. poor grades) and just didn't see any. Some people may be flabbergasted by the idea of you taking a semester off because if you're already doing so well, why stop now?

Of course, these people probably don't understand how underlying health issues may be affecting you, so don't worry about what they think. Do what feels right for you - get the help you feel you need.

You say, "I need time off because of depression."

Dean thinks: "The depression must be affecting his grades." This is a logical conclusion. It usually does.

And then he finds that your grades are fine, and is surprised. Her reasoning is, "If he wants to take time off because of depression, the depression must be affecting his grades. But his grades are fine; so I don't understand why he's asking for time off."

She's not surprised YOUR grades are good, but that somebody with depression is getting good grades. While it is possible to maintain grades, especially with dysthymia, a mild depressive episode, or one that starts gradually, a noticeable grade drop is more likely.

Someone with depression should be expected to have bad grades. There's not enough brain left over for studying, usually. The dean's conclusion makes sense to me; she doesn't understand why you want time off if your grades are still fine. I think you're just being touchy.

I don't like the options for the poll. It is based off assumption of what the dean thought, thus I could only answer as if it was a scenario and not fact.