being alone vs wanting company

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How to deal withe the dilemma with wanting to be left alone and yet when I am a lone I feel isolated or lonely within four walls, and need someone to talk to, but the persons I can talk too bore me, and then I want to be alone again when it is too crowdy. How many guys of you deal with this i a healthy way? Any suggestions?

Last edited by Loborojo on 21 Jan 2009, 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Get yourself a good hobby you can do on your own. I spend my days on the computer and watching satellite TV. Sometimes I read. I see people on the weekend. I can't take more than two days of socialising. Being around people does bore me too, it's also exhausting.
Maybe go somewhere with friends where it isn't too crowdy and do something you all can enjoy. I dunno, I just try to make the best of it. I get sick of hanging out with friends, but if I wasn't I'd probably miss them. People are never satisfied.

Get involved.
Find your passion and join a group that focuses on that.
Find some way to volunteer or join a church group with a worthwhile project.
There's gotta be someone in your neighborhood who needs help.

I prefer being alone, but as you stated, I sometimes long for company. I’m usually good at finding ways to entertain myself without having to deal with being anywhere too ‘crowdy’. Just going to the library helps me to some degree. There are usually people there I can visit with but not get too involved with either.

Or as pensive said, find a new hobby to get involved with, something make the loneliness seem insignificant.

< Is a happy Simmer nowthat she has everything for the Sims 2 running again.

I live alone and I spend alot of time on here, plus watch a fair amount of TV. I also spend an hour or more each day, reading or gathering info on one of my hobbies. I also try to break things up so I don't get bored of one or the other. And, like most others, I need to see people or at least make a phone call, every couple days. I don't need much direct social contact though, a couple hours at a friends house and I'm ready to head home. As others have stated, it tends to wear me out, and afterwards I need a couple hours of TV in order to recuperate.

Maybe try developing your interests in a way that requires you to leave the house? For example, spend time at the library researching on your special interest if it is intellectual, if you like plants go to parks and gardens, if you like art go to galleries. That way, you won't be 'trapped inside four walls' and you will have some human contact, but it won't be really involved contact.

Volunteer work..

I myself get lonely. What I do is do things like watching DVDs and going on the internet. It helps me a lot.

Speak online like you are now, or just go find someone. For bein alone, you can play xbox, ps3, wii any form of console. Do something to pass the time or talk on the phone. Thats how i do, anyway. It litrally depends on when i wake up.

There may be clubs in your area in which you can engage one of your interests. Myself, I joined a chess club, which is great for me, it's once a week for four hours, and that's it. And we talk pretty much about nothing but chess. It works for me because I'm pretty passionate about the game (although not very good). Every now and again we do discuss local or federal politics, or business, but for the most part we all come to share a common love of the game, so I don't need to worry about rambling and boring people with my interest, so long as I talk about chess; they all want to hear it anyway.

Maybe I got lucky in that there's no real internal politicking in this club, I imagine not all clubs are the same way. It's something I look forward to on a weekly basis and has now become part of my routine. I remember it was rather awkward joining due to my social awkwardness, but I think I've become an accepted member of our club now. It's incredible how much good grace a few homemade pies can get you.

I joined when I realized how socially introverted I was becoming and how much I hated the idea. It gives me regular human contact, and keeps it to a manageable level.

It works for me, anyway. Something worth considering, I think.

I done volunteerwork in the past and I only clash with volunteers after a short while, I hate belonging to clubs, did karate for 6 months and gave up because of the cliqueing of the members, chatting with strangers has not done much but irritate me, I am not a vdo game player either, I guess I won't get to solve this

Last edited by Loborojo on 22 Jan 2009, 9:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

That reminds me of the D&D groups you can find in comic book stores. I've seen at least three of them. If you're into WarCraft, you would probably love D&D. The store welcomes them and gives them room because those are some of their best customers.
What kind of store would welcome your passion? Maybe they know of a group.