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lawlesslady
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06 Jan 2009, 9:30 am

My cousin is an Aspie who is desperate for friends. Often, he will start random conversations with someone just to try to make friends. I've tried to explain to him that NT's (especially women) are threatened, and in fact fearful, of total strangers making contact, especially if it's a random comment that doesn't mean anything to them. It makes them uncomfortable and they wonder what's coming next.

I understand that, generally speaking, conversation for an Aspie means sharing information, but he's not sharing the "right" information.

Example: At the bus stop, if you approach someone and say, "Bolivia has a population of 15 million cockroaches", you are going to get really strange looks from NT's, and they will likely try to ignore you and step a little further away.

On the other hand, if you approach them and say, "I think the next bus won't be coming for another ten minutes", you are much more likely to start a friendly conversation.

Fuzzy put it very succinctly when he said, "Context rather than content" (in the course of one of our conversations).

So my question to you is, first of all, do you ever approach strangers and start conversations? and if you do, what's their general reaction to you? Do you ever get the sense that they are fearful or uncomfortable with the contact?

LL



zghost
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06 Jan 2009, 10:38 am

Sure, random stranger conversations are my favorite. And I prefer strange topics, if they aren't going for it I get bored and move on.
But it's not that uncommon for me to start a conversation with something pretty odd.



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08 Jan 2009, 5:00 am

Yeah, I know I said that, but the fact is that *I* do start random conversations too!

Often its about something pertinent to the environment, but after I fluster the person, I realize that it is a detail specific to my perception.


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08 Jan 2009, 5:06 am

I don't really start them. In fact strangers start them with me. They will say "Good morning" or "hello" and when they start talking to me I will start talking back if they are saying something interesting. If they are just boring, I don't carry on a conversation. I just say "Oh" or nod my head and then they stop. As if they can read my mind.



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08 Jan 2009, 5:36 am

Someone once tried to start a random conversation with me in a public girls toilet.

I ran for it.



SpongeBobRocksMao
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08 Jan 2009, 5:30 pm

I try to avoid random conversations as it's so hard to talk to people. I did once get a random conversation but I quickly found a way to get away politely.


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RedMetal
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14 Jan 2009, 4:48 pm

I'm too shy to start conversations with complete strangers. Ocassionally one will start a conversation with me, but even that isn't too common.

I tend not to discuss my interests either, unless I feel it may be of interest to whoever I am talking to. I'm usually happy enough just to keep talking about whatever the other person wishes to talk about, unless of course it's very boring. If I do decide to bring up my own interests, I try to look for an appropriate oppurtunity to do so.

I doubt my conversational skills make much of an impression either way.



lyricalillusions
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14 Jan 2009, 4:53 pm

I never start conversations with people. Sometimes people start them with me & even then, I don't really participate.


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Bradleigh
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14 Jan 2009, 8:59 pm

I find it hard to talk to many people as it is, so often I am not the person to engage the conversation, I might continue on or branch a discusion onto something I and they might be comfortable with that I can share knowledge on though.


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IdahoRose
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15 Jan 2009, 2:28 am

I have almost no contact with anyone outside of my immediate family, so sometimes I try to have conversations with cashiers at the store. One time it was really nice, because when I pointed out the Domo-kun necklace the cashier was wearing, she turned out to be a fellow anime fan. When I told her I liked Hellsing and Trinity Blood, she said that was "awesome". :D